Trapped in America

My passport is expired, I'm trapped in America!

For my new job (did I tell you I quit my old job?) I had to fill out all the employment type forms and they require 62 thousand forms of ID or one passport. Fortunately for this it can be expired or valid. But I'm trapped in America! I can't go anywhere until I renew my passport.

No, I don't have a trip planned.

No, I don't have a relative or a friend that I might have to leave the country to rescue.

NO! I'm not a fugitive, which, by the way, if I was I wouldn't have to renew my damn passport I'd just go to the seedy section of town and get a fake one and that would be that.

NO ALREADY! All right? I don't have any reason at all to leave the country. I just don't like the idea that I can't leave if I want to. I've always been like this, ask my mom.

And yes, if you must know I DO remember looking at the passport about 2 months before it expired (a YEAR AGO) and thought, "I should renew this so I'm not trapped in America." You want to make something of it?