Thursday, July 14, 2005

Are you gonna eat that?

Papermoon is taking a naughty little weekend in the Berkshires.

We were IMing about it.

Keep in mind that we both work in offices with a very open plan and we both sit next to women who feel that our personal business is for public consumption. I know that my chick can't read very fast and Papermoon is lightening fast on the minimize button so this does not stop us from talking about poop, penises and parties.

Kizz: Where is the place?
Papermoon: Lennox Mass www.blantyre.com
K: but remember what happened to Miranda on her honeymoon. Mucklucks and a coat and a nighty with one bar on her cell phone in the woods
P: Oh this place is not like that...
K: Good to hear it
P: check it out
K: I'm looking now, it looks beautiful
P: OMG that was a GREAT episode!

(Yeah, well, linear? Not really our bag.)

K: Oh it's near Tanglewood!
K: OK for fun I'm reading the wedding section BWA HA HA HA I can only IMAGINE what this must cost
P: NO shit! I love that they TELL YOU how THEY are going to do it
K: OK, but now I'm reading the menu and salivating.
K: This, however is probably the silliest food ever made: Squab Liver Parfait on Toasted Brioche with Crispy Shallots
P: You know... I thought the same thing!!!!
P: Squab liver?????
P: SQUAB LIVER???
P: how many squabs perished to make that liver parfait?
K: I mean, I love a pate or a parfait of most anything because it's all liverwurst to me. Mushed up pigeon guts on toast with onions
P: yeah.. exactly!
K: LOIN of Rabbit? You're serving me rabbit genitalia?! At my wedding?!?
K: I don't know what Tuile is. I thought it was fabric. But apparently it comes in parmesan
P: I was going to say fabric too...Have no idea what that is..Loin.. think of it as upper thigh..
K: Uh huh RABBIT PENIS!
P: No! tender part of upper thigh.. not necessarily genitalia
P: you think that a rabbit has a big enough penis to serve on a plate??
K: These are canapes, it doesn't have to be big. Although you'd have to make a whole Vienna Boys Choir of rabbits to feed an entire wedding

(Right here Papermoon crosses her legs, almost ruins her desk chair and chokes just a little bit while swallowing her laughter. I am unreasonably and possibly cruelly proud that I can make her do this.)

P: ok, ok so maybe the rabbit penis is PERFECT for the canapes.. I am STILL thinking THIGH!!!
K: I'm sure that you're right but the whole LOIN thing sounds suspicious to me
P: kinda like squab???

(Here Papermoon gets a phone call. A business call. She tells me that she's got a phone call. I continue to type with no regard for her well being.)

K: Mango Passion Fruit Financiers
K: So what now, they're dipping brokers in fruit and serving them for dessert?
P: STOP IT
K: It's not me it's the damn menu people
P: I am on the phone
P: I can't crack up
K: Marie Puffs filled with White Chocolate Mousse
K: This sounds like a nun farted and they filled it with pudding
P: STOP IT!!!
K: OK, I'm probably done now.
K: Probably. I haven't gotten to the wedding cake suggestions yet
K: Apparently you can get the Financiers plain too. Which, as we well know, is how they come.
K: So to speak

(And here, right here, is where Papermoon signed off in order to save her job.)

Hee. I'm the devil. And I'm serving pigeon liverwurst at my wedding.

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