Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Rescue Me?

Sooooo, a couple of weeks ago I show up and there are (is?) a shit-ton of emergency vehicles out front of my office building. As well as a fair number of the denizens of the tower.

This is exactly how far away from their desks New Yorkers are willing to evacuate during an emergency. Notice, also, that they are all resolutely facing the entrance. The very second the fumes are fanned away these guys are gonna have their asses back in their seats!

I have about 6 pictures like this. I find it very hard to work up a fear sweat when I'm drooling. They're not models, they aren't even the cast of Rescue Me but they do something for me. Who knew rubber pants and a funny hat could be a turn on? Well possibly Paul Rubens but that is really not company I want to be keeping.

They told us it was a CO2 leak. From what I could tell people were evacuated but then let back in but then really seriously evacuated then a bunch of firefighters stood around then a select bunch of them hit on my co-worker who was not interested then someone, it's not clear who, decided the threat was diminished and we had to freakin' go back to work. It was good for almost 3 hours worth of sitting around outside drinking hot chocolate and shooting the breeze. My boss got all efficient, though, and bought some shoes.

When the truck above appeared I realized we might be moving into a new realm. I mean, I know that Manhattan is an island but I work on Third Avenue so if we need the raft and the life ring we have a much bigger problem than a CO2 leak.

Thank god this guy was here, though. I have no idea what he was supposed to be doing but he was doing a lot of it. As far as I know he spoke to no one and never left the truck. He was a very busy little dial twisting beaver, though.

In the end we all know there's a silver lining to every single cloud. This coffee guy will be funding his summer vacation off of our CO2 leak.


  1. Agh! I can't tell you how much I miss working in New York. The rubber pants. The funny hats. The busy little dial twisting beavers.

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Kizz told me about this the day it happened and I laughed about the raft then, too!

    According to my hoity-toity English education, it would be "there IS a shit-ton of emergency vehicles." You're quantifying the descriptor, "shit-ton" which has become your noun because you changed the original noun, "vehicles" into the object of the prepositon when you put it in the phrase "of emergency vehicles." It's kind of like the difference between saying "there are ducks in my yard" and "there is a flock of ducks in my yard." Get it?

    This concludes the grammar lesson for today.

    By the way - I'm pretty sure it's not the rubber pants and funny hats that turn you on, it's the IDEA of firemen. They do it for me, too.

  3. You need to head over to Key Foods on 5th Ave. on a Sunday afternoon....that is when the Brooklyn firemen do their grocery shopping. And they wear their rubber pants while they're doing it.

  4. As the graceful aging process continues, I will be heartened by the obvious "in-ness" of rubber pants.