Friday, October 27, 2006

I Know How Alexander Felt.

By 6:14am it was clear as day that this one wasn't going to go my way. Cannot buy a break.

Just as my alarm goes off, my nice, soothing, iPod-powered alarm, the dog starts barking her fool head off. And she won't stop. She's not a barky dog but I can't tell why she's barking and she won't shut the hell up. I get up, I call out, I peek out and there's nothing there. She goes to sit by the front door and I go to pee.

By this point I've realized that little sleep and a very strong drink made out of nothing but Brazilian vodka and tiny wedges of lime make for that weird all over shaky feeling you get in the morning sometimes. So I figure I'll turn on the computer then make some toast.

But no, first I must clean up the cat pee. I can't find Elvis so this is leading me to believe that his UT stuff may be coming back. Which means goodbye days of easy dry food and I have to look for his vitamins. You know, after I clean up the pee. So I do that.

While I'm cleaning I turn on the TV and select an episode of The Shield. I turn around from cleaning and it's a full screen shot of the head of a boa constrictor. Time out from cleaning for dancing around the apartment trying to shake off the creepy crawly feeling all over my skin.

Finally, I've got the vitamins opened so I can easily lie in wait for the cat, my toast is down and I'm sitting to hit the e-mail button. Toast pops. I stand, putting the computer down in my seat, and try to untangle the cord so no animals will cause an accident. Pulled the laptop right down on my toe.

If I were an optimistic person I'd say that the day had nowhere to go but up. If I were an optimistic person.


  1. UGH! And all this before SIX THIRTY in the MORNING!! You don't work on Fridays, right? What the HELL are you doing up - and functioning - before SIX THIRTY in the MORNING?!

    I'm sending you happy energy and hoping your day DOES go up. I'm thinking that you've gotten all the rotten stuff out of the way already.

    Oh, and I hope Elvis feels okay. UT stuff in cats is a drag - I know this from personal experience. Sigh.

    I love you.

  2. SO? Did the day get better?

  3. Anonymous8:34 PM

    Well, there's no sense in going to Australia, I understand there are a lot of snakes there.