Friday, November 17, 2006

Well crafted

It's a sort of hot people entry but with a twist because I'm going to muck it up with words.

I love TV, you know that. But I also love to see the craft in it. And here is a well crafted little scene from the unjustly canceled Everwood.

Madison: Ephraim you don’t even know me.

Ephraim: I might not know everything about you but I do know some things. I know that you’re the only person that makes my little sister think it’s OK to be a girl. I know how you feel when you sing ‘cause it’s how I feel when I play. I know all you really want from this Jay guy is for him to get you and he never will because the only thing he’s interested in getting is himself. And I know that all this stuff about me being too young is just you being afraid because it’s easier for you to say that I’m too young than to risk something that’s not what you thought you wanted. But most of all I know that ever since I kissed you at the DMV every time I’ve seen you I’ve wanted to kiss you again. And I don’t know for sure but I’m pretty certain that you have too.

They kiss

Ephraim: Yup. Thought so.

He walks away.

Take that last line. Most writers would have used pretty sure. It's colloquial and it's simple but it also puts sure in the sentence twice which is going to sound klunky and awkward, especially next to the rest of it, which is particularly nicely put together for the 17-year-old character who's delivering it. A tiny little thing but it's a tiny thing that someone cared about and worked on despite the fact that there were 22 episodes a year to crank out. Writers of One Tree Hill, please take note.


  1. I need to spend more time watching ABC Family.

  2. Anonymous10:18 PM

    I think you should investigate a book called Sin and Syntax by Constance Wade. It's a book about writing, but not in the dry old Strunk and White kinda way... Imagine M's choreographic tools applied to text.

  3. Anonymous10:19 PM

    Oh, the point being that she talks about what you're talking about.