Thursday, December 07, 2006

Little insight

When Em was a pup we used to lament that we hadn't immediately thought to train her as a sled dog. She has the physique and the determination, she loves to pull and she's pure muscle. Later, when she and I moved in to our own apartment it became clear why the universe hadn't gotten us some skids and a big snowfall.

I give you my informed opinion about what would happen if Emily were hitched to a sled:

Human puts dog in harness
Dog chases own tail in circles, trying to catch and remove harness
Human wrestles with dog, falls, eventually hitches dog into traces
Human prompts dog forward
Dog pulls, feels weight, digs in and takes off
Dog zigs
Dog zags
Dog is trying to get away from sled that is chasing her
Slight downward incline is reached
Sled gains momentum and taps dog on the foot
Dog tries simultaneously to run faster and curl own ass under self for safekeeping
Previous step causes dog to sit abruptly
Sled overtakes dog, flattening her
End experiment

I won't be more specific but I did take my granny cart with me tonight as I walked the dog to the pet food store. Can you guess what my trip was like?

2 comments:

  1. Miflohny10:47 PM

    I have to say some of that funny description you stole from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but it's still funny.

    If I say I've caught up reading your blog,DON'T - I repeat - DON'T use that as a prompt to write more. I need time to do all the many, many projects that really need doing, but don't get done when I'm reading your blog!!!

    Damn your tempting blog!!! :-)

    Love from one of your annoying friends in BKLYN. :-)

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  2. "Dog tries simultaneously to run faster and curl own ass under self for safekeeping"

    You, my friend, are some kinda funny!

    ReplyDelete