Ten Things Tuesday: Irreplaceable

Ten things I really should replace (or just get rid of).

1. My comfy kickin' around sweatshirt that I stole from my mom who claims to have no idea that she stole it from Helen Tom, whose name is sewn into the garment. It's got holes everwhere and will soon be simple a neck band and frayed arm holes.

2. Several pairs of socks that look much like the sweatshirt. I claim to like to darn, no, I actually do like to darn but I don't so I oughta just get rid of the socks. (Darn.)

3. My hand me down winter boots. It was so kind of my neighbor to give them to me and they have served me well but they give me blisters and they weigh eight thousand pounds and I'm afraid I'm going to slip and break a hip.

4. The pate in my fridge (that I ate way too much of for dinner) with cucumbers and beets and carrots and I don't know some vegetables for cripes sake.

5. The boxers of the young gentleman who preceded me up the stairs from the subway this evening. My face was disconcertingly close to his derriere and he was wearing those, er, relaxed fit jeans and then the boxers as a fashion statement. Fortunately or unfortunately I was close enough to see that the boxers were only a fashion statement and he had something else in a nice grey jersey fabric between his tender ass and the cold, cruel world.

6. My hand me down VHS version of the BBC Pride & Prejudice for the DVD version. Mmmm, Colin Firth.

7. My VCR, sometimes it won't accept a tape anymore. I know it's a dinosaur but sometimes you just need to tape something.

8. My cheapass motherfucking DVD player. For $40 it's lasted me a very long time and done pretty good service. However, I think it'd be OK to splurge on something that can still read the DVD if you breathe on it wrong.

9. My TV addiction with something less harmful. I'm thinking something like cigarettes or possible snorting heroin.

10. My lazy ass attitude.