Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Ah, screw it

Here's a tangentially related to The Year of Magical Thinking list just to get one out of my system.

10 Things You Should Know in the Event of My Death

1. If I end up on life support go ahead and keep me there for 6 months or so to exhaust all your options.

2. Then, pull the plug. Seriously. If you have to find this entry cached on the internet somewhere and use it as proof consider this your permission.

3. Donate my organs. For people, for research, for art, just do something with them, I won't be using them anymore. Perhaps my ACL will go to the Olympics.

4. Whatever you've got left just burn it. (This one may change if someone develops a more environmentally sound means of disposal before my demise.)

5. You could include a good book, though. Complete works of Shakespeare, Lymond Chronicles, Year of Magical Thinking, something that will hold up well under repeated reading.

6. Pony Express, Queen Bee and ChemE are in charge. But MKAEP already knows she's taking care of the ... adult literature and devices.

7. Once you've paid off the expenses and sold the apartment give the money to the kids. Alita, the Bee kids, MusicBaby, Ronan, the Chili Chill'n, the Brown Eyed Boy and whoever else comes along before, you know, I pedally strike the tin receptacle.

8. If I can die at home I'd prefer it but if I can't then make it as painless and as quick as possible. No drowning or crucifixion, you hear?

9. Either bury the ashes (or whatever) near my grandparents in Durham, NH or here in Brooklyn but please keep me all together and I would like a marker of some sort. (I'm doing some research on this stuff this weekend so I may be able to leave more specific instructions soon.)

10. If you have a party/memorial/funeral please sing.

And, just because you asked, it's my opinion that it's really important to let people know this stuff. I don't care if you don't like to think about it or if you think it's too soon or even really if you're superstitious about this kind of advance planning, it's just cruel not to tell the people close to you what you want. They shouldn't have to be making those kinds of guesses when they're already so sad. Plus, on a more practical note, they'll be less sad to see you go if you make it even harder on them.


  1. Anonymous7:57 AM

    This is all SO important. I've been trying to get Mr. Chili to go on over to his parents' place to find out from them what their plans are. As the only local kids, we're going to end up bearing the brunt of the end-of-life responsibilities for them, and I think it's only fair that we have some sort of idea, however sketchy it may be, of what they want BEFOREHAND.

  2. I have half this list made out...I'm a big proponent of getting stuff ON PAPER/ON LINE/ON SOMETHING. Life turns on a dime and quite frankly, I agree. While it's sometimes a blessing to turn off the emotion and tune into practical choice making, it sucks for the person and should be already lined up. I got your back sistah. . .
    On a more cloud/dream/angel theme...I'd like us to all kind of slip away at the same time, on the same porch, with our rockers chiming in step with the slurping of the margaritas thru our false teeth and oxygen masks.


  3. Do you really want me to sing? It might raise you and the rest of the dead...

  4. I love The Year of Magical Thinking. I read it some time ago and all of it is stored away somewhere.... until I need it again.
    I am also a fan of going all at the same time. We will hire someone to pick up the pieces.
    I don't know if i can do the list of... today or for awhile though. It might turn into one of those things Homeland security comes after me for.
    I have some anger management problems to work through with my family before I go assigning them important tasks.