Tuesday, June 12, 2007


I've got a lot to say but no structure in mind. Just fair warning.

Chili asked what the criteria is for throwing things away at mom's house. Just one rule, really: Don't. I know this seems foreign to a lot of people and I will try to explain that at some point but I don't know if that's explicable, especially not to people who take pictures of their "filthy" kitchen to show the internet and the picture shows 3/4 of the counter still free and clear. It's a disorder, it really is, it's related to OCD and I don't fully understand it myself. Suffice to say the next person who says, "Can't you just go in there and clean it up for her?" or, like my dad, ask "Have you seen the house? When was the last time you saw the house? Have you seen the house lately?" is getting a Red Forman approved foot up the ass. I know that you mean well but it's not like I haven't well, seen the house and haven't thought about this a lot. I have chosen to preserve my relationship with my mother over cleaning up a mess that's not mine because cleaning up messes like that is what people do. It seems weird and I will keep trying to explain it but the bottom line is I know I'm doing the right thing and it's really hard and I hate lots of parts of it so if you're not part of the solution...

Fortunately most of you reading here are part of the solution. No matter what the problem. (One little blogger so many problems!)

I'm watching the Gilmore Girls Series finale for the second time tonight. I tape all the Gilmore eps for Charlie and ChemE missed the finale so I needed to tape it twice. It's not really worthy of 2 viewings so close together but it is better than I remember it being. However, I still really want to know how Amy Sherman-Palladino would have ended the series.

Chili also asked who I found from elementary school. It was Robert Squier, actually. I was looking at this week's offerings from PostSecret and I saw a card that reminded me of his artwork so I googled him. I don't know why I'm embarrassed by something that almost everyone does but I practically blush every time I do it. Anyway, he's got a web site and a fledgling blog and it looks like he's having great success doing what he loves. I'm green with envy but totally thrilled for him. Maybe when I'm home I'll find the beautiful piece of artwork he did for me when we were in high school.

I've been all over the internet at work this week. Miraculously I've also been doing all my work. Having all that filing done is a real weight off the brain. Anyway, I've come across a lot of interesting blogs and blog posts.

Fussy starts it all, of course. Her father died recently and she wrote a simple and spot on post about the day of the funeral. Catholic service followed by military service and she echoes my sentiments on both.

Through the NaBloPoMo list I found a few other folks. Like Tippy Tippy. I don't know why I like her exactly but I really do. She's arty and fun and fallible in a lovely way and I sucked up her archives like pet hair in my vacuum.

I don't know if Rich was direct from that list or through someone else (the pathways of the internet are twisty, just ask Gypsy) but I read even more of his archives than I did of Tippy's. I can't figure him out, which is more interesting than you might think. I learned something from his posts today. In AA apparently they tell newcomers, "We will love you until you can love yourself." I might be trying to teach that lesson next week. It's a good one.

Oh, and the whole inspiration for this post (in tandem with the Fussy funeral post) was from Katie Granju. She linked to this visual scale developed by mental health experts for use by hoarders and their families to help identify the extent of a hoarder's problem. There are 8 choices in each room they show. My mother is between a 7 and an 8. There's no category for car. Or dead boyfriend's house. So it's not a perfect scale but it's good enough for diagnosis.

Katie also led me to her sister-in-law who talks about organ donation, something I'm very much in favor of. Turns out I don't know as much about it as I thought and I was so grateful for Julie's candor.

Katie's blog is all newly designed thanks to some hosting problems but mostly thanks to her husband. I could kiss Jon right on the mouth if he weren't married...and too long a drive away because he's designed it all so that when she links to something I can get back to it so I can tell you all where to find it easily. I love that. LOVE IT!

Gerry Rosser is a frequent commenter on both of Chili's sites. I was strolling through his archives last week too and I got to Memorial Day. Gerry, a veteran of the US armed services, says, "...the only worthwhile memorial to our fallen soldiers is peace. We dishonor them with war." He claims it's only his opinion but I must concur and I'm glad he put it out there so succinctly that I could link to it.

OK, there was more, there is more, I'm sure. Oh! Like go look at my first trip to the horse track as memorialized by intrepid internet journalist, Kath. We had such an awesome time, we want to go again. Also, as if their status as low pro rock stars wasn't firmly cemented enough Kath reached out to me today, set up a time for me to drop off Em's things and took "drop off dog" off my list and put "pick up dog" on hers (or possibly Alex's), which was a huge help to me. You know, in the long list of huge helps it is to keep one's elderly 62 lb. dog for 8 days.

Now, if I don't start linking now I will never get this done by bedtime. Everyone cross your fingers for Zelda's wayward cat, Charlotte. Tell that kitten to come home NOW!

Sleep tight, y'all, I'm exhausted but a little wired from being in planning mode.



  1. I swear - when I'm asking about this stuff, I'm not TRYING to be part of the problem; I'm trying to understand so I can better support you. I'll back off (and, hey! You KNOW how badly clutter makes me crazy in my own environment! Quit making fun of my need to clean! :P)

    I was HOPING it was Rob Squire! I'm going to check out his blog RIGHT NOW! If you get to see him, tell him I said HEY!

  2. I haven't gotten up the gumption to contact him so more than likely I won't see him but perhaps in July I will. I'll keep you posted.

  3. I'm contacting him. I'm leaving a comment on his blog right now (though he'll have to go through my email to find out my real name...)

  4. Thanks for the link to Rob's site. His illustrations really shine. Beautiful work. I'll try to post a comment, and maybe see if I can get a copy of one of the children's books he illustrated.

    As for clutter, I am the daughter of an unrepentent packrat. Several years ago, we came close to producing a documentary on clutter and OCD. Doing some preliminary research gave me great insight into clutter in relationship to mental health(which completely explains the packrat in my life). He just can't help it. It made me much more understanding.

    We were finally able to persuade him to let go when we started framing it in terms of providing things to other people in need. But it is difficult to work around these issues and it's great that you have come to a kind of peace with it.