Saturday, October 13, 2007

Notes From the Outfield

I was going to leave the blog silent for the day. Nothing much to report but some moaning about sinuses and medications and busy-ness and overwhelm. Didn't seem interesting and the brain needed a rest.

I was going to go out and walk the dog, get myself to bed early and hope to wake up feeling better. (I'll be slathering my face in @spercreme before I sleep, too. Please tell all your single friends about me. Someone this sexy should not be kept a secret.)

I thought I'd just switch on the game for a sec to see where things were at and send enviously supportive vibes to Ulserad in the stands. If you were watching I turned it on in the bottom of the 5th.

What I saw in just a few minutes was the reason the Sox deserve to be where they are. Say what you want about them, lord knows I've said plenty of things both fair and grossly unfair about other teams, but these guys belong in these playoffs. Ortiz is a fat boy, it's undeniable. He's got a bad knee, too, which, if you've watched the Sox for any length of time, gives you shivery deja vus feelings that water your bowels. He's the tying run at the plate since there's a guy on first. He gets a solid hit, and the dude on base gets thrown out but Ortiz and his extra poundage and his shoddy knee beat the double play to get on base. That's skill, hustle and heart my friends. Then our boy Manny and his enormous hair got up and got a full count and wham! The slowest motion home run ever to be hit. It was going, going, maybe no, but still going, and hard to see, but then it was going and finally it was gone!

Tie game.

Some dude named Lowell who nobody apparently cares much about hit another homer before the replays of Ramirez's homerun were even finished. No one has mentioned it since despite it putting the Sox one run ahead.

Total time of all this action: about 5 minutes, maybe less.

The Brooklyn Dodgers may be forever the Boys of Summer but these, our Red Sox, are the new Boys of Fall and it is glorious.


  1. *I* care about Lowell - he's the hottest guy on the team.

    Ortiz is my favorite player, though - you've got to love a guy who hits THAT HARD. Of course, he hits that hard because he can't run for shit (last night's running down the double play notwithstanding).

    Sadly, they lost. The series is tied at one each. Mr. Chili is convinced that the Colorado Rockies are going to win their series, and we're going to have a Fenway/Denver World Series in the snow. Why the HELL are they STILL playing baseball?!?

  2. What do you mean noone cares about Lowell? He had a 0.3plus batting average for much of the season and took over Youk's role as the guy who'll get on base when Youkie got hurt. The Sox better resign him for next season.

    Chili, while I wouldn't kick him out of bed, you can have him... he's only batting 3rd or 4th in my lineup.

  3. Woof, ladies, no offense meant, I'm actually more on your side. I was commenting on the fact that despite the fact that he, with no messing around or extra prep, dinged a homer that put the team ahead and no one talked about it at all. The TV coverage was like. "MANNY, MANNY, MANNY! Don't forget ORTIZ! Oh yeah, lowell hit a homer. MANNY! ORTIZ! MANNY! ORTIZ! GAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Which I found sort of sad for the poor dude.

    Also, you're both married. You already HAVE ONE. Step off. :)