Thursday, December 06, 2007

Pimping My Readers

Oh my christ you people are hilarious!

If you haven't read the comments to the previous post you should really go there now. I was about to publish this response in the comments there and realized that it's my blog, I don't have to confine myself to the comments! Ah sweet freedom! It's worth the loss of bladder control. Go on and read but come right back, the roads aren't safe this time of night.

I'm going to have to keep some index cards in my pocket when I'm out and about now so I can have these responses at the ready. Especially since it looks like hats are out for a short while. I caused some trauma with a tight hat band and now there's blood and something (antibiotic ointment? pus? spinal fluid?) oozing out from underneath my steri-strips. I definitely need something funny to say to distract people from the gore dripping down the side of my nose.

From off-blog conversations (*gasp* you have off-blog conversations? how 1995) with Pony Express we have the following gems:

"mistletoe malfunction"
"who knew Reindeer rear"
"let's just say he's not as jolly as everyone says"
"Minor surgery. What happened to you?"

And a couple of wife-beating-adjacent cracks from Pony Express and Audio Girl that just shouldn't be shared in public. They're funny but only in carefully constructed context and we don't have that on the internet.

Keep 'em coming, friends, 'cause today this is my thing for which I am grateful: I have friends who have the most glorious sense of humor and they aren't too stingy to share. Thanks for that.


  1. Blind date with Edward Scissorhands

  2. One time I was in a car accident that left with two black eyes...
    Three days later I returned to waiting tables, but only as a I passed a table a woman asked for ketchup. I bring it. As I set it down she says me and asks what happened. Tired of three days worth of storytelling I say, "Oh, nothing."
    She gasps, grabs my hand, and tells me, "Leave Him!"
    Then I was like, "No, no, no, bizarre stapler incident."