Getting a Witness

Here's a religious post for a Sunday. What the hell is up with Jehovah's Witnesses? Who decided that this was a good idea? Do they ever get anyone to convert this way? If they do who is it? What sort of person gets interrupted while cleaning the tub, opens the door, allows themselves to be lectured to for 45 minutes by children and grandmothers and decides, "Why yes, I would like to come to church with you this afternoon, let me just change my clothes" ?

I had heard the term before I moved to New York. Actually I went to school for a few years with a guy who was a witness, well his family anyway. They didn't come around very often out there in the boonies, though. Here, they're around all the time. They came to my last apartment every Saturday morning like clockwork. My favorite thing to do was to come home with the dog while they were ringing everyone's bells and and watch them try to scatter since they were petrified of Em but were unable to because the door is in sort of a well. I suppose that's utterly against the principles of Christianity but after having the dog jacked up by the doorbell for a dozen Saturdays in a row I felt justified. That's probably how the Crusades got started.

Where I am now there's a guard booth so no one can really just wander up. I've had one neighbor who tried me a few weeks ago. She still says hello to me in the courtyard even though I shut the door in her face. Funny, though, for the most part they stay away from the people close to their buildings. Pony Express lives on the same street as a Witness church and she never gets the Saturday morning doorbell. This means they have to know that they're annoying, right? And that it's not a smart conversion ploy?

Ours is not to reason why...