So Very Nearly There

See those pants right there? Size 10, baby.
I wore them for my birthday get together in January and there was an eensy bit of camel toe going on. By the time I'd finished an evening of champagne and chocolate cake I was pretty uncomfortable. Today, though, not even a hint of the camel toe and I've eaten all sorts of stuff and they stayed comfortable.
I am one half pound away from the goal y'all. It feels both very close and petrifyingly far away.
Pay no attention to the random crap strewn about my house and the fact that I have to feed the dog in the living room so I can keep the cats from poaching her kibble. This was actually before I fed her, before I got her food all put together, turned around, got slippery fingers and spread that shit over a 5 foot radius. Please explain to me why an animal who is happy to eat stale vomit from the pavement is squeamish about eating kibble and stew from the parquet floor.