Tuesday, June 03, 2008


Audio Girl and I have coined a new term. Recent circumstances have led us to find a way to describe being cornered by one of those people who prefer to say anything, no matter how inane, rather than endure a moment of silence. Rather than meet you in an elevator and have a nice "Hey." "Hey, how are you?" "Pretty good how are you?" exchange they have to fill the gap and, in the case of rooms that don't move, they want to keep you there. After a beat you'll hear, "I hate pineapple." or "It sure is hot out there." or "Is that a new dickie?" or anything.

You're ambushed with someone's need to chat. You're chambushed.

Today I got the mother of all chambushings in the bathroom no less. A woman from the office down the hall held the door to the lounge for me.

Me: Thank you.

Her: My lunch was altogether too healthy...

My Very Soul: No GOD no! I don't want to hear this! Too. Much. INFORMATION!

Her:...so I'm going out to get dessert.

My Very Soul: Whew!

Not content to leave it at that she perpetuates a conversation about justifying her need for dessert. It continues into the stalls and while I'm peeing!

Not. Acceptable. I will talk over the stall. I'm not a complete prude. But not with strangers, please. I have to know you a while before I'm willing to chit chat while I'm voiding my bladder. We have to be pretty much the same person before we talk while I'm doing anything else.

I'm tough. I can take it. But next time that woman holds the door for me I'm banging a u turn, hitting the elevator and using the bathroom in the restaurant across the street.


  1. How does it never occur to these people how wildly inappropriate this sort of thing is?!

  2. Anonymous9:39 AM

    Yes, but then you may end up being chambushed in the elevator!:-)

  3. I see you've met my mother.

  4. Very nice. I love it.
    Just smile and wave girls. Smile and wave.

  5. Consider it in circulation.

  6. Anonymous4:27 PM

    My friend Mike was at a party and a guy named Earl cornered him and told Mike his entire life story. The host and hostess later iunformed Mike that he'd been Earl'd on so that's how I've always referred to it when it happens to me.

  7. Miflohny, Oh god I hadn't even thought of that!

    Seester, you need to put a spit take warning on that comment. I cracked right up.

    Gert, do I wave underneath or over the top of the stall?

    Mrs.G, I'm flattered.

    Baldsug, I think we'll have to chalk these up to regional colloquialisms. It sucks no matter what region you're in, though.