Monday, July 28, 2008

Hello Mr. Hipster!

Dear Apple,

I want to introduce you to a friend of mine, Fresh Direct. She comes to my house about once a week to deliver my groceries. We have a deal where I pay a flat fee every 6 months and there's no delivery charge (sort of like my one year .Mac/MobileMe deal with you). I order my food a day or two in advance and agree to be home during a short time frame to meet her.

Anyway last week we both screwed up. I needed a short notice appointment at the vet for the dog and I took what they had but couldn't call up FD to tell her that I might not make it home in time to meet her. Late that night when I got home and realized what I'd done I called to ask her if we could make some sort of change. Thank goodness she was still up! She's usually up until 1am, so I knew it would probably be OK but I was still relieved. Apparently my order had already gone to the warehouse so she couldn't help me right then but told me that if I called in the morning (she'd be up by 7:30) she could talk to the dispatcher and probably make a change.

Well, the next morning dawned and I called and she talked to the dispatcher and fixed me all up with another time. Right before we rang off, though, she said, "Hey, just give me a call when you get home, that way if they haven't gotten there yet we can still get you your food in that earlier time frame. OK?" OK!

My original time was 11am-1pm and I go home about 11:30. I called in and said I was home and she said she couldn't be sure which time slot my food would come in but she'd do her best to get it there soon. At 10 minutes to one FD had her machine call me back. The recorded message said that they were experiencing unavoidable delays up to 40 minutes and apologized for the inconvenience. Knowing that a verbal apology is pretty chintzy between friends she was going to extend my free delivery agreement by one week, too.

I mean, really, how nice is that? She helped me out with all those problems that were my fault then when she had a problem she called me up before it became a problem for me, apologized and gave me a little present as compensation. It's no wonder she and I are friends.

So, I know you guys don't have a lot in common but I thought you might want to think about meeting her, maybe exchanging some ideas, doing some networking. You never know, you might get to like her. I think she's single or at least playing the field.

On another note entirely I'd just like to point out that since MobileMe doesn't officially work with my operating system yet (I went on the message boards thanks to ChemE and found the unofficial workaround) that your "gift" of adding a free month onto my subscription isn't so much a gift as it is exactly what I paid for.

Hope you're having a great weekend! Let me know if you want FD's number.



  1. Anonymous10:47 AM

    I've had the same issues with techie things and it frustrates me every time. On reflection, as an early adopter, I have learned to expect issues. If they waited until everything is perfect, we would wait another few years. This is particularly true with software. It doesn't get much better than Apple. They have the most advanced and innovative products out there.

  2. And if you're the kind of person who is an early adopter and you can feel OK about that then that's awesome. I am decidedly not an early adopter. I wait and I see and I look for every reason not to move forward and then when it's inevitable and smooth and hella expensive again I jump on in. If by jump I mean wade in very slowly peeking only through my fingers. So my main objection to this whole mess is that they FORCED me to adopt early and incur all the hell. I'd have been a blissfully ignorant and mostly happy customer if they'd let me make the decision in my own time.

    Of course they punished me for publishing this today and MobileMe was down for about an hour. GAH!

  3. Anonymous11:48 AM

    I hate to laugh at your pain ... but this is hilarious! I don't mean your completely justified anger and frustration, I mean the way you wrote about it. Bwa ha! I hate it when change is forced upon me; especially when they didn't get their shit figured out BEFORE they forced it on me!

    I wish Fresh Direct would move to my city. She might like it. A slower pace than NYC certainly, but she might enjoy slowing down a little. Perhaps you could mention that to her the next time you chat.

  4. Anonymous3:08 PM

    Fresh Direct is nice. I like that they always give you coupons (of the e-mail, enter-this-code variety) for free stuff. And it's usually freezable so you can get it and just have it for later. Hors d'oeuvre, chocolates, I even got a turkey for free. (The Wife: "But we're vegetarians." Me: "But it's free!" The Wife: "What are we going to do with a turkey?" Me: "Give it to someone. Like a homeless shelter.") We ended up giving the bird to a family member. And we let them have the turkey too. D'oh!

  5. Anonymous3:56 PM

    You know, I called Chili yesterday and said "Tell me why I use Microsoft?" She said "I have no idea." I think your grass is greener. Maybe with crabgrass but greener still.

  6. Thanks Julia, that's really nice of you to say. I'll let FD know about you. I think you'd like her a lot.

    M, you made me laugh out loud. "But it's free!" I know the feeling. I'm glad you put the turkey to good use.

    Auntie, not to worry, I don't think the Microsoft grass is actually greener, I'm just pissed that Apple isn't a vibrant, gorgeous, lush green right now.