Wednesday, August 27, 2008

And A Boot to the Head for Jenny & the Wimp*

*Anyone know what that's from?

The 11th Prompt is an infomercial for this:


Here’s the winner of last year’s Invention Fest contest, Mr. Tobias Gunch. Mr. Gunch works at the local driving range in…where is it again?

Huh, he doesn’t seem to remember. That’s probably key to the story, though, isn’t it? Mr. Gunch is in charge of ball retrieval at the range and he got sick of punk ass golfers taking pot shots at him while returned their tiny balls to them. After a few nights in the hospital with his 10th? Mr. Gunch? No, 11th concussion, he came up with this beauty, The Golf Ball Cross Bow! Mr. Gunch happens to use it to shoot back at golfers who try to injure him but you could use it anywhere! Live near a golf course and sick of getting your windows broken? Just return to sender with your Golf Ball Cross Bow! Sick of those kids on your lawn? Go Braveheart on their asses! Too lazy to golf yourself but still want to hit the driving range with your friends? Cross Bow to the rescue! It’s fully automated since Mr. Gunch has only limited use of his arms after repeated bruisings and a couple of nasty breaks so if you can drive a car with power steering you can use this baby. It’s the ultimate piece of firepower for the modern day suburban war we’re fighting everyday. If you want to come out on top in this death match you need to get a Golf Ball Cross Bow before anyone else does.

3 comments:

  1. nhfalcon7:49 AM

    I don't know the Jenny and the Wimp reference (though I feel like I should...)

    I do know the Boot to the Head reference, however.

    For you see, Grasshopper, I too am a student of Ti Kwan Leep...

    :)

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  2. I love THE FRANTICS. Youtube has a version of "Boot to the Head", if'n you want to see it.

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  3. Anonymous4:38 PM

    Dr Demento. Always appropriate

    ChemE

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