Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Poking the Tiger

You'd think after all the controversy that last week's 10 Things post garnered I might move to something different this week. The thing is my listing inspiration is somewhat limited. I could list you 10 cities and towns between Brooklyn, NY & Portsmouth, NH that if I see again it'll be too soon. How about 10 skanky rest stop observations (Observation #1 PUT THE TCBY BACK INTO THE REST STOP YOU MASOCHISTIC MOTHERFUCKERS!)? 10 Things you should write down before you die? Ugh. I can't face that one. Look for it in coming weeks. So instead I give you the short and the sweet, 10 Olympic Events I Have Spied Since Friday.

1. Trap shooting. It's what I would call skeet shooting but apparently that's not the right name. There's a bag with pink powder in it attached to the target so the judges, participants and spectators can more easily identify a hit. Also, the trap (the launcher thingamee) launches the targets in three different directions.

2. Team handball. Seriously, this is a thing? I had no idea. Visually it looks like a soccer/basketball hybrid. Emotionally (I watched the women) it felt like field hockey. The Korean goalie is freaking awesome!

3. Synchronized Diving. How do people judge that without instant replay? It's beautiful in a very stop and start heart-stopping way. Their success is predicated on the second or two from the platform to the water. It's fascinating but I can only judge it after I see the replay.

4. Equestrian. I actually don't know what sort of equestrian event I was watching. There was a guy on a horse and he was taking the horse in a very specific pattern around an empty rectangular area. They would do the pattern at one pace then up the speed a little and do it again. I watched 2 or 3 speeds and then I changed the channel, I admit it. I think that might have been the prelims for some sort of jumping, like how figure skaters used to have to actually skate figures.

5. Badminton. I can say I watched it but it's like saying I've been to West Virginia. I've driven through West Virginia a number of times but we never stop. I watched about 4 serves of badminton. That's some cutthroat shit right there.

6. Beach Volleyball. Well, of course I have. I mean, hasn't everyone? I've seen the US women's B team and I watched some of the men. I got hooked on Sunday when it was raining so hard and really changing the odds for everyone. Slippery balls! (Not a euphamism) Obscured goggles! Soggy Sand! Heavens to Betsy what a day.

7. Swimming. Chicks, dudes I've watched it all. Again, in the Days Of Phelps how can you miss it? Of course I totally missed the guys' HUGE relay win. It's enough to make someone quit her job and watch the Olympics full time*.

8. Women's Road Race. It was like the Tour de France on crack. Smog, rain, women, bicycles and an incline for the sprint! Speaking of masochistic there's an incline on the freaking sprint. I loved how happy that beautiful woman was when she finished. That's what it's all about.

9. Fencing. Now technically I've only seen the recapped highlights but it still sort of haunts me. Those women are fierce!

10. Gymnastics, again, you really can't escape them. I'm interested in the whole thing of it but not enough to watch every blessed second. My overall impression is that the races will be tight but not because the teams are great. There are big mistakes being made. During the women's qualifying round the media would not shut their pie holes about how horrific the women were, and I agree, mistakes they did abound, but then the women were in SECOND PLACE. I mean, how bad, comparatively, can they possibly be? Perhaps the entire sport is experiencing a lull/plateau/slump.

OK, your turn, what are you watching?

*I made that sound all light like I was joking, didn't I?


  1. Anonymous7:19 AM

    "Poking the tiger." Heh. Good title. Around the Eyrie we call it "poking the pirhana (sp?)."

  2. I'm addicted. I love it all. Watched water polo yesterday. HOW does one become a water polo chick? These obscure sports...how does one even say, I want to be a water polo player, much less find a team and a coach and get to the freakin Olympics?!?!?! I'm amazed at these atheletes. I'm dvr'ing all of the evening stuff. but have been able to watch it all live anyway. My BF MPhelps is amazing. ah-maze-ing. that relay...it's gotta be online somewhere. I was jumping up and down, yelling and screaming in my living room. Beautiful.

    I even have the olympic theme downloaded to be my ring tone for my phone.

    ate. up.

  3. We call it poking the wasps nest or poking with the grumpy stick here.

    As the case may be, I've seen nothing of the competitions, yet. We've been so busy with back to school that when I get a moment, I just sit!

  4. Anonymous11:23 AM

    Funny, the different animals we poke. I say "poking a sleeping bear."

    I think the horse competition you saw was Dressage. And that's the whole competition - different horses than what they use for jumping or steeplechase.

    I don't have cable or satellite TV so what I get to see is limited. Bastards. But I've been glued to the TV to see what I can. I'm a sucker for the Olympics.

  5. It's nonstop Olympics at our place right now. Unless our beloved Craig Ferguson learns how to swim we'll not be watching him for a few weeks.

  6. I just deleted the most excellent Craig from my week's DVRing this morning. Hope he's not offended but I'll watch him for the other 3 years and 50 weeks.

    Oh, yeah, it probably was dressage, wasn't it? Maybe the announcers were talking about the rider and he was planning to also do some jumping later in the games.

    Water Polo is a mystery to me. I can't tread water and I sink when I'm told to float. They are all magic when they're swimming and throwing and beating each other up all at once.

    Isn't that weird about all the animals? I had no idea.