Poking the Tiger

You'd think after all the controversy that last week's 10 Things post garnered I might move to something different this week. The thing is my listing inspiration is somewhat limited. I could list you 10 cities and towns between Brooklyn, NY & Portsmouth, NH that if I see again it'll be too soon. How about 10 skanky rest stop observations (Observation #1 PUT THE TCBY BACK INTO THE REST STOP YOU MASOCHISTIC MOTHERFUCKERS!)? 10 Things you should write down before you die? Ugh. I can't face that one. Look for it in coming weeks. So instead I give you the short and the sweet, 10 Olympic Events I Have Spied Since Friday.

1. Trap shooting. It's what I would call skeet shooting but apparently that's not the right name. There's a bag with pink powder in it attached to the target so the judges, participants and spectators can more easily identify a hit. Also, the trap (the launcher thingamee) launches the targets in three different directions.

2. Team handball. Seriously, this is a thing? I had no idea. Visually it looks like a soccer/basketball hybrid. Emotionally (I watched the women) it felt like field hockey. The Korean goalie is freaking awesome!

3. Synchronized Diving. How do people judge that without instant replay? It's beautiful in a very stop and start heart-stopping way. Their success is predicated on the second or two from the platform to the water. It's fascinating but I can only judge it after I see the replay.

4. Equestrian. I actually don't know what sort of equestrian event I was watching. There was a guy on a horse and he was taking the horse in a very specific pattern around an empty rectangular area. They would do the pattern at one pace then up the speed a little and do it again. I watched 2 or 3 speeds and then I changed the channel, I admit it. I think that might have been the prelims for some sort of jumping, like how figure skaters used to have to actually skate figures.

5. Badminton. I can say I watched it but it's like saying I've been to West Virginia. I've driven through West Virginia a number of times but we never stop. I watched about 4 serves of badminton. That's some cutthroat shit right there.

6. Beach Volleyball. Well, of course I have. I mean, hasn't everyone? I've seen the US women's B team and I watched some of the men. I got hooked on Sunday when it was raining so hard and really changing the odds for everyone. Slippery balls! (Not a euphamism) Obscured goggles! Soggy Sand! Heavens to Betsy what a day.

7. Swimming. Chicks, dudes I've watched it all. Again, in the Days Of Phelps how can you miss it? Of course I totally missed the guys' HUGE relay win. It's enough to make someone quit her job and watch the Olympics full time*.

8. Women's Road Race. It was like the Tour de France on crack. Smog, rain, women, bicycles and an incline for the sprint! Speaking of masochistic there's an incline on the freaking sprint. I loved how happy that beautiful woman was when she finished. That's what it's all about.

9. Fencing. Now technically I've only seen the recapped highlights but it still sort of haunts me. Those women are fierce!

10. Gymnastics, again, you really can't escape them. I'm interested in the whole thing of it but not enough to watch every blessed second. My overall impression is that the races will be tight but not because the teams are great. There are big mistakes being made. During the women's qualifying round the media would not shut their pie holes about how horrific the women were, and I agree, mistakes they did abound, but then the women were in SECOND PLACE. I mean, how bad, comparatively, can they possibly be? Perhaps the entire sport is experiencing a lull/plateau/slump.

OK, your turn, what are you watching?

*I made that sound all light like I was joking, didn't I?