Friday, January 30, 2009

That'll Be 5 Cents, Please

The mammogram went just fine. A few little things I thought I'd note for you, though.

The woman stuck little cake decorations on my nipples. The silver ball kind that you can break your teeth on, you know? (Auntie, you're welcome for that image.) Is that a new thing? I don't remember that from the last couple of these I've done.

The registration process was super quick and efficient. In the few seconds I sat at the desk while the registration lady typed I looked at her calendars. One was pretty, pretty flowers and the other was made up of those inspirational posters. I noticed that they were both promotional items. The pretty flowers one was from a funeral home. Not inspiring confidence.

The squishing was not so bad. Either saggy breasts are better for mammogramming or it really does depend on the technician. So, if you had a bad experience I suggest trying again, it might not be so bad! I didn't even stub my toe.

I forgot my camera. I suppose that shouldn't matter but there were a few priceless images. For one, the view from the mammo room is spectacular. You can see the Statue of Liberty! More importantly I wanted to show you the HUGE breaker box that serves as outlet for the machine. It's so big it has one of those Frankenstein switches you need two hands to flip. Doesn't seem like such a brilliant idea to be offering up your tender bits to something with that much electricity running through it.

Again in the interest of encouraging everyone to do their mammographical duty I want to say that the worst part of the whole experience was unsticking the nipply cake decorations. Seriously medical adhesive people, what the fuck?!


  1. Next time I'll take the sticker ball thingies off for you. And I won't charge you!

  2. Gonna use your teeth, Auntie?

  3. I got my annual appointement in a couple weeks. They always squish just shy of the point where I can't bear it.

  4. Wow. So your tits are cupcakes or something? ;)

  5. I once had my mammo, came home, and then hours later wondered why my boobs were scratchy. Took off my bra that night to reveal the little metal sticky things I forgot to remove!