Saturday, March 28, 2009

Steam Engine

That's not your tea kettle, that's my brain boiling over.

As you may have heard, I misread the instructions for the grant application and my work sample is incorrectly formatted. I have worked on trying to get it formatted correctly but, save one outstanding phone call, I'm not going to be able to get it right in time to get it turned in for the deadline.

Now, I don't think that this particular project is right for this particular grant but you never know, right? It's not for me to decide, it's for the committee to decide. Not to mention how much work I've put in (and Audio Girl too, the actual smart stuff with the adult sized words is all her in this thing) this week to prep the application. So to not apply at all feels like such a huge waste and so disappointing to boot. (My head knows that the work we've put in won't go to waste and this booted us into gear but my head is not so much in charge right now.)

On the other hand, for real, I didn't read the application correctly and I didn't start to work on it until a week before deadline. There are reasons for that, most of them rooted in fear and the economy and general feelings of inadequacy but a fair enough dose of plain, old, garden variety sloth. I know that, from the outside, I'm the student everyone is complaining about. I didn't discover this problem until probably half an hour after the person who could help me left for the weekend on the last business day before the aforementioned deadline.

Sending the incorrectly formatted sample is always a possibility but as far as I'm concerned it puts me in that second category of shitty student.

Tonight my teeth are a bit grindy and my head is a bit steamy and, well it's not relevant, but my hair is kind of greasy.

Just in case you were wondering.


  1. Eek.

    Um, well, try not to beat yourself up over it. I imagine it's hard not to...but if you beat yourself up for it, nothing good results, right?

    So sorry to hear about the glitch.

  2. Kitty's right; don't beat yourself up over it. Even though I complain about the students, the ones who at least make an honest attempt get some love.