Seriously, Y'all

I asked for some help for Auntie's Birthday Hot People Post and a couple of people did chime in (THANK YOU!). I think it was Snob who suggested Katherine Moennig. While I love KM she plays a character that Auntie despises with all her being. There's another actress from The L Word, though, Sara Shahi, who I'll use, I'm sure. Auntie herself gave me a longish list...of men. I felt stupid leaning over and virtually whispering in her ear, "Pssst, you're a lesbian. Making it a whole list of men would be...well...kind of not the point!" I'll include the men, I'm all for the equal opportunity of hot, I'm just saying I feel like a few women ought to be included, don't you? All on my own I came up with Rosario Dawson, she's a strong choice, right?

It's not enough, though. Anyone have other thoughts?

Welcome To My World

I have spent a goodly chunk of the past two days in conversation with a parent who wants me to intervene on her child's behalf. I am reluctant because I think the kid should go along without intervention and make his own luck, as it were. The parent has devised a million ways this intervention could work and has tried me from every angle and I agreed, very early on, to do whatever she liked but this particular parent was unsatisfied. She wants me not just to follow the program but to get wholeheartedly behind her idea so it can be executed with conspiratorial glee or something. In the end a compromise was reached so we're both dissatisfied but at least the discussion is (lord, I do so hope) over.

How nice it was tonight then to get an comment that thanked me for my pro-choice post from October because it had clarified her position and brought her firmly (if I read her correctly) into the pro-choice camp. I know that the world would be a boring place if we all believed the same things and I know that compromise is the foundation of any decent relationship and yet... doesn't it always feel good to have someone say, "Yeah, you know what? You're absolutely right." Especially on the big questions.

Thank you SAA not only for reading and understanding but for taking the time to come and tell me about it.

In Honor Of The Day

I might have 10 things I did for the pure pleasure of the day. Let's see, shall we?

1. Ran into Michelle who had my new boyfriend, Ben, and my old beau, Bobby, with her in the park on my way to work.

2. Stayed longer in the park despite being a little late to work so I could throw some sticks for the Bobster.

3. Got passport pictures taken as the first step toward renewing my long dead passport in preparation for...I can't tell you what.

4. Sat on a curb and read my book for 20 minutes while eating my lunch time cookies. This was super awesome despite the fact that the curb was so hot it burned my tuchus a little.

5. Ran into the other man in my life, Diego, on the walk from the train. He was so hot he didn't try to jump on me even once.

6. Bought ice cream and ate it while I walked the rest of my way home. Delicious chocolaty goodness.

7. Walked to the park with my own pooch. Had to cut the walk short since she doesn't know her own limits anymore, or rather is unused to having any limits at all. She took some convincing but it was the right thing to do and eventually she took it gracefully.

8. Unapologetically lounged on the couch watching a whole disc of In Treatment (first season). Remind me to write a little something over at PPP about the series. It's...intense.

9. Am now writing this rather than writing a note to my Aunt Rena.

10. Looked up the cost of an iPhone and plan on AT&T's web site for dreaming purposes. You can get a refurbished 16 gig phone for $100 plus the $36 one time activation fee. The plan is the same amount as the Verizon plan I have now, exactly, except for the mandatory data plan. That's $30 a month. While it's probably perfectly reasonable for a data plan it's a little much for the personal coffers. I'll be leaving that part out of the dreaming, perhaps I'll write myself a dream data plan grant or invoke the Fairy Godperson clause or invent an iPhone-specific government stimulus plan. It's only for dreams, what can it hurt, right?

10 Good Things

A year ago today Joe the Barber died. Two years ago yesterday (or was it three?) mom's old man friend, Jake, died. Just over half a year ago Auntie Blanche took off for parts unknown. In January I let Mrs. X's passiversary well, pass, without note. OK, without note here on the internet, trust me, it was noted. Grandmother Biddy's 8th year away will come on May 8th, a red letter day of sorts.

Joe sent us a beautiful day today. So I thought it'd be a good Tuesday to do 10 Good Things about some of those people.

1. Joe and my mom and another neighbor used to have "tomato races" to see who could get the first ripe tomato of the season. The subterfuge involved is the stuff of legend.

2. Jake made pot roast that I sometimes still dream about. The guy would once in a great while have one solitary 7 & 7 but he'd deglaze the pot roast pan with PLENTY of sherry. Even Martha Stewart would vouch for this good thing.

3. Auntie Blanche used to bring roses to all the senior citizens in her home town on Christmas Eve.

4. Mrs. X had a really specific laugh for when she was being snarky. She could be Mistress of the Snark, which was very cool.

5. My grandfather, Robbie, (8 years as of Nov. 9th) was revamping a school project at the time of his death. He'd been invited to a local high school to be a sort of "Back in My Day" show and tell item and he felt he hadn't handled it perfectly so he was going to do it right the next year.

6. Mrs. X instituted "Homemade & Heifer" for our Christmas exchanges. Heifer stood for Heifer International but we expanded the definition to include any charity. We give a lot to the Lung Cancer folks now.

7. The gift we gave Auntie Blanche that she liked the most was a donation in her name to Habitat for Humanity. All my life she lived in a rented apartment.

8. After 9/11 Joe worried about me being prepared for another disaster and about how long my walk home was. After the blackout in 2003 he said, "It's not fair. She had to walk home twice!"

9. Robbie & Biddy's house smelled a particular way. It was sort of cool and earthy and delicious. It still exists very faintly on a coat of his that I have. I haven't worn it much because I didn't want to destroy the smell.

10. Joe used to go to the Bee's house to take the dog for a ride just because she liked it.

Do me a favor and enjoy the hell out of this day, willya? Thanks. I knew I could count on you.

There's Always Something

Today there was a simulated terrorist attack on lower Manhattan. On purpose by a government agency. Seriously. A group of people got together and decided they wanted photos of a large passenger plane being escorted past the Statue of Liberty by two F-16s. I can't see why you have to do that instead of just photoshopping it together for about a billion fewer taxpayer dollars but if you hafta you hafta. However, you decided to alert the proper authorities in both New York and New Jersey and specifically order them not to tell the general public. Let's get this straight, a person or persons living in DC, a city that just seven and a half short years ago had someone fly a big plane into it and kill a bunch of people, ordered a simulation of that event to go unannounced in the only other city in the US to have had the pleasure of that particular rhumba on their dance card. Not only that but no one in any of the contacted agencies in New York or New Jersey thought this was a bad enough idea that they should speak up. Panic ensued, buildings were evacuated and therapists will certainly be called in for special sessions. If I had witnessed it in person you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd be hitching a ride down to DC right this ding dang moment to have a word with someone. I'd start with that dude from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle and work my way up to the big guns, Mrs. Obama, until someone gave me the appropriate heads-will-roll response.

But I didn't see it in person so my panic is all second hand. Still and all I stuck my nose in a book for my walk home. My book, she is good, and my brain, she needs distraction. I looked up when I heard the helicopters, though, which is when I saw the smoke. Big billowing swaths of black smoke coming from somewhere in the vicinity of Kath & Alex's house. Three helicopters, fire trucks still on the way to the scene and yet, when I got home I could find nothing on the news. Still haven't been able to.

I'm not much of a disaster stalker but I thougth I'd just take my dog walk toward the action so I could see where the point of origin was, just to make me feel better. There have been too many gas leak explosions and the like lately, I needed to feel sure of the location. Except that 3 blocks into the search I ran into a huge union protest rally at the local art college and that turned out to be plenty of excitement for me. Apparently the institute's president is doing some union busting against the carpenters' local. Very bad mojo in this serious union town. Probably 300 guys came from their regular jobs to rally before they went home for supper and a rest. They've been quietly protesting in small groups for months now but apparently they went unheard so they've pulled out the big guns.

I'd like a little something low stress, high reward from this day, please. Let's brain storm on people for Auntie's Birthday Hot People. Does someone have her girl's e-mail? Maybe the Girl will have some good suggestions. It's hard for me to pin down that which Auntie looks for in a girl so I need all the help I can get. Her birthday is on Saturday, please leave suggestions all week. Variety is, as they say, the spice of life.

Super In A Stitious Kind Of Way

Another of the papers found in the vast, dusty piles of crap I sorted through yesterday can be seen at left. Turns out that the last time I submitted a show for FringeNYC was 5 years ago and, as I'm sure I've told you, they were not interested. Since today is the day the decision letters for this year's festival start coming out it seemed like a bad idea to throw out my old rejection letter. It felt too much like tempting fate to replace it with a new one or something. Much better to share it with the whole wide internet.

So, yeah, that whole not getting my hopes up thing is working really well, thanks for asking.

Let's Do This Again

Watching this guy

on this guy's show

is the best way to start one's week. I highly recommend it.

Except for the part where it makes me want to stay home all day and watch it on endless loop.

Even Longer

As part of my campaign this weekend to be productive but in only the most minimal ways I went through two big containers of papers and threw out enough to make it one big container. My criteria for ditching stuff is varied and only marginally logical. My favorite one, though, is to look at a questionable communication and ask, "If this were from me to the person who sent it instead of the other way around, would s/he keep it?" If the answer is no then the missive gets mulched.

Some things, of course, don't fit that protocol. I kept everything from Auntie Blanche. The last thing before I quit for the evening was a Winnie the Pooh card she sent because as she wrote, "I believe you liked Winnie the Pooh Tales." I did. I do. The front of it said, '"We'll be friends forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet. "Even longer," Pooh answered.'

Ketchup

Been doing some much needed catching up on my Flickring. There are some hockey photos in there, maybe if you click through you'll send the Rangers enough good mojo to finish this first round today. Face off in 20 mins. Fingers crossed.

It's Not All That Funny, Really

I feel as though I should explain this joke I made a few days ago. The problem with it was I'm the only one who gets the joke and that's not very funny, is it?

My maternal grandparents would have been married 60 years had it not been for the leukemia and the lying. There was a big blow out party at their lake home for their 50th, about 20 years ago. The entire community chipped in and all the family was on deck for the execution of the gala event. My mother has one brother and he and his wife have two children, a boy and a girl. At the time of the party I was a college sophomore attending a conservatory program for acting and directing in a "private university in the public service." My younger cousin was in high school and quite active in his prep school's drama club.

The time for toasts came and certain people were invited up to the cake table to speak. My grandfather proudly introduced "the actor in the family" for a toast. And my cousin gave a fine toast indeed.

As a result, I often retell that line as a self-deprecating joke. I know that it's not so much funny as it is bitter but it gives me a little giggle nonetheless. It is never meant as bad mouthing the other person in question. I'm told my young cousin was a fine actor and, more recently, I'm told that he's making his living with carpentry and woodworking at which he is also quite accomplished. I know that Mike (of the waterboarding) is a great writer and clearly a marvelous on camera personality, too. It's more about my grandfather. I realize it's a long time to hold a grudge but I promise I'm holding it just lightly, as a reminder that it's not about how other people perceive me, it's about what I'm actually doing with my life. (Why yes I am sitting on the couch watching Burn Notice. Shut it.)

Got any inside jokes you keep telling even though you're the only one who gets it?

Approach With Caution

My small part in the big Motherscribe Interview project has gone live (thanks JCK!). Please read my previous post before you click on through. I'm both petrified and delighted to be part of this and I look forward to talking with you about it.

Dear Bill, What Are My Rights?

Surely you'll remember that I turned in Motherscribe interview a short time ago. It's going to go live this evening at some point. Before that happens I thought it best to review some of the rights and responsibilities of the blogging age.

JCK writes a strong interview. She decided what sorts of information she wanted to gather and she pulled no punches in crafting questions that would elicit it. This was a tough interview to answer, not because I didn't know the answers but because it felt dangerous to make those answers public. I thought it over, though, and I commited to completing the interview. Having made that committment I couldn't dishonor JCK's work by answering with any less bravery than her own. It's my right to make these answers about myself public and it's my responsibility to own them, which is why I chose not to have my interview published anonymously.

Now on to you. I put this information out there and I'm telling you where to find it so obviously you have a right to read it. It is also your right not to read it. However, I can't make that decision for you, you know where the x button is and if you've gotten so far as to be reading this you know how to use it. If you choose not to use it then, respectfully, don't come crying to me.

There are questions about sex, childhood, gender roles, role models, dreams, aspirations, fears and more. It's deeply personal stuff and it's been amazing to me to read all the various experiences of the women who are participating. I will be interview #23 in the series and I imagine there are plenty more to come after me. I strongly suggest that you head over to Motherscribe and look over one or more of the first 22 interviews. Before you read my interview get a feel for what questions are being asked (mine are ever so slightly different because I'm one of only 2 single, child-free interviewees thus far) and decide whether or not you'll feel comfortable finding out what I think and feel about these subjects. Then make yourself a good, old fashioned, well informed adult-type decision. To read or not to read? It's a very good question.

For other very good questions check out those interviews.

I'll let you know when mine goes up.

Underneath It All

This one's for those of you wondering what's under all that gear.
I give you the young, kind, articulate Swede.
Not to mention smoking hot.
That goes without saying, I think.

Puck Magnet

Genius
Ice Whisperer
MVP
Savior
Leader
Beloved
Unflappable
Wall
Impenetrable
Psychic
Brilliant
Touched
Untouchable
Beautiful
Winner
Henrik
Henrik
Henrik

The Folks at Reaper Got it Right

I thought I could probably steal 20 minutes from my day and write a little something specific for the blog, just enough substance with a zinger or two for pizazz. So far today I've been to the DMV. Twice. And I'm going again tomorrow with my boss. Suffice to say my get up and go has got up and went.

Tonight, as part of the recovery process, I go to Madison Square Garden and cheer on my beloved Henrik Lundquist. GO RANGERS!

Not 10, 15

My cousin, the writer (said with love), was waterboarded as part of his job...as a writer. The link to this glorious wackitude is sort of safe for work, except that it's on Playboy's web site which may be blocked where you are. I clicked over and, except for the Playboy logo, didn't find anything that might offend delicate sensibilities. You know, unless you count a video of someone enduring (probably) unethical interrogation techniques offensive.*

My cousin is nuts. And I love him for it.**


*I haven't watched the whole video yet. As you know I work in an open plan office and I feared being found out would increase my street cred in this joint beyond manageable levels.

**He hasn't told his mom about this yet so don't spoil the surprise, OK?

Fwitter Away!

It's Ben & Jerry's free cone day! Check your local listings for participating locations.

Fweet! Fweet!

There are a lot of reasons I haven't joined the Great and Powerful Twittering community. I have a thing against getting more passwords to remember (or forget) and I fear it would contribute to the already near-catastrophic fracturing of my American mind but basically I think I'd love it a little too much and I might never stop to the exclusion of all else. I am flirting with the idea of it, though, which is why you're getting 10 Fwitters (Fake Twitters) or Fweets (Fake Tweets) for 10 Things Tuesday.

1. @chili, I DO believe in mini-creme eggs, I do, I do, I do! THANK YOU!

2. "Oh the way Glenn Miller played, songs that made the hit parade, guys like us we had it made, those were the days."

3. @clemo, My mother is a fish.

4. @mameres has assigned me mingling lessons. He's not wrong.

5. Office chocolate is all gone. Sad clown.

6. Hair cut need assessment: Threat level RED RED RED!

7. Can anyone give me advice on Blackberry and gmail compatibility?

8. Anyone want to buy cheap ($45.50) tix to the David Hyde-Pierce play? Performance date is between May 19 & 24, will get back to you on specific date.

9. In Fight Club when they divvied up the meetings who went to the Fanfic Readers Anonymous one? Narrator or Darla?

10. (obligatory follow-on) "I am Jack's insatiable need for content."

Would you follow my feed? I don't know that I would.

Haven't Done This In A While

Time to look at the old starred file (thank you Google reader) and see if I've got anything worth sharing.

1. Did you know that Wall Street folks are the victims here? Yup, read the highlights of that tragic novella here.

2. Will I be encouraging a generation of counterfeiters if I buy every kid I know (and many of the adults) this for Christmas?

3. I love convenience, especially with purchasing items that I am nervous about but I also love having independent stores everywhere. I rarely eat at a chain restaurant but I am guilty of purchasing (not exclusively) at big boxes for books, electronics and groceries. I like the specific instruction on how to support local business given by the 3/50 project.

4. Clinton Hill Blog posted the skinny on a local mansion. Apparently after a recent renovation it houses "low-income individuals, people with chronic diseases, and the formerly homeless." How cool is that?

5. Had to have one of these. My most recent favorite Dear Old Love.

6. I'm still super pissed about the clusterfuck that is the NYC MTA and their fare hikes. While I sit here stewing futilely other people are fighting back with some all too true guerrilla art.

7. Did you know that LA County has about 13,000 untested rape kits? I didn't either. Makes me wonder how many we have in NYC or in your home base. In the mean time, careful not to get raped in LA County 'cause nobody cares about catching the guy.

8. I am intrigued and confused by a Scalzi-provided link to a quote from Alan Cumming. Apparently you can be queer without being gay. Part of my brain says, "That makes total sense!" and the other part is all, "I'm sorry, what now?"

9. Since we as a country are, supposedly, trying to be more green by the moment I thought I'd provide you with new avenues for recycling. Don't just throw those old sex toys away! They can be recycled.

10. Have I shown you this before? Jim at Sweet Juniper went to a block where 60 out of 66 homes are abandoned and he took photos of every single one and stitched them together. I know I've said before that I feel as though Detroit is on point for the rest of America in terms of what the coming (and already arrived) "hard times" have in store. This is but one example. If you're a visual person having trouble grasping the direness of the straits we're in though I think this will help. If help is the right word.

11. I've been trying to write about this for weeks and I simply can't. It pushes every one of my buttons so hard I have bruises. The link is a Feministing post quoting a pro lifer as accusing college educated women of having high rates of abortion because "we all know" college kids are having sex (no argument here) but there are no children so there must be huge rates of abortion amongst the collegiate types. I....am...almost speechless. REAL SEX ED WORKS! TEACH KIDS TO USE BIRTH CONTROL AND TO HAVE POWER OVER THEIR BODIES YOU CRAZY, DELUDED BITCH! And there you have it, why I couldn't write a full post on the subject. All caps post are no good, no good for anyone.

12. On a similar note Scalzi schools me on procreation. It's been warm and beautiful out this weekend which only serves to show me how many people in my neighborhood are thumbing their noses (and other protruding body parts) at the zero population growth movement. Scalzi tells me not to sweat the procreation, focus on the distribution and use of resources. Sigh. OK. I'll try.

I leave you with an even dozen because I am craving donuts. Enjoy! Come back and chat about it all if you're so inclined.

Let The Sun Shine In

Did you go out in the warm, brilliant sunshine today? Was your body so unused to concept that when you returned home your slightly reddened body fell into a sunshine coma for like three and a half hours?

Just me then?

OK.

Finding the Path

My day started out with the news of this bullshit secessionist crap and has gone on to contain way too many errant inter-species bodily fluids. I was working up to a pretty shitty mood until I headed out to work and found myself gaining on a young man and his skateboard. His progress was slow, at best. His mother was somehow retaining her good humor but she was a solid half block ahead of him. See, he was no more than 6 years old and he hadn't mastered changing direction while in motion. He'd put one foot on the board and muster a push or two with his other foot to gain sometimes as much as 6 or 8 inches before it became clear that he was headed straight for a tree or a fence or the curb. Off he'd come, having to bend over and meticulously adjust his skateboard placement. Sometimes it would take 3 or 4 adjustments before he was satisfied. Then plant one foot, a couple of pushes, the shortest of glides and another narrowly avoided disaster. He was a patient one, though, always willing to hop off and reset for better results. Oh, and did I mention that he was talking the whole time? Tongue never stopped wagging. I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying but his mother couldn't force a word in to move him along. Even in a bad mood I couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that I was watching a living, blabbing metaphor for my questionably effective approach to life.

Thanks, kid. Hope you got where you were going.

A Nice Oolong

I heard a super funny thing yesterday but I didn't think it was fair to the talker to share it with the whole internet. Today she gave me permission to share, as long as I didn't link directly to her mom's e-mail or anything, and thus I was able to jump on a bandwagon. Let's hope MAB doesn't think any less of me.

First just make sure you're familiar with this conservative protest movement.

Yesterday I was at work and my friend's phone rings. It's her mom. My friend is a socially liberal but somewhat physically conservative lesbian (not especially relevant in general but does make the story a little funnier). Her mother is similar without the lesbian part. I hear that it's her mom on the phone. I go to the kitchen. I return to hear her telling her mom "Just GOOGLE it! It's not like you don't have google? I'm just going to send you a link." I go the ladies' room and when I come back I hear giggling and, "No, like you'd, you know, dunk it in hot water?" I laughed so hard I had to sit down.

Apparently mom had been listening to Rachel Maddow, as she often does, and didn't understand the jokes.

Priori-what now?

I spent my writing time tonight working on something that's not a blog post. Actually I did 2 writing sessions today. One for the musical and one for my Motherscribe interview. Have you been reading the Motherscribe interviews? At first I thought I wouldn't read them until I finished mine but I couldn't wrap my head around that so I've been reading along. It's an ambitious project and I'm learning a lot as well as running up against some fairly hard walls in my own thinking. I've been working on my own answers for weeks now. I thought I was done tonight but when I started formatting it I realized one question was completely unanswered. I want to answer it I just...can't. Yet. So, I'll need to keep working a little before I turn it in.

In the mean time, go ahead over and read what everyone else has said so far.

Birthday Nightcap

I figure I should start out strong. He bonded us together, he deserves pride of place.

Couldn't unearth photos of the Big Bang Theory's writers' room but I did find a non-first season pic of the pretty people of Grey's Anatomy.


I learned who Matt Nathanson was! He's that singer you were telling me about!




I couldn't find the picture of Connie Britton twirling, I'm sorry about that.

I simply can't watch ANTM but now, wow, I'm sorry about that. Woof.
Did you know there are pictures out there of Youk totally naked? Yup, no facial hair at all. His chin is just as big as that beard, too. He not only has the strength of 10 men he has their chins too!
Happy Birthday! Sleep tight.

Birthday: The Big Girl Version

Happy Birthday!

I am so behind this month.
I haven't sent a card or pressed the "ship" button on the gift yet.
I promise that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about the birthday girl.
Here are some things that JRH loves so we'll all be thinking about her.
Later in the day we'll play around with some...less...family friendly things that she likes. (Suggestions welcome!)
Don't worry, she's not that kinky.
Since she doesn't have her own blog (yet) please leave your birthday wishes in the comments section.
This is my favorite thing in the set. Always looking, even when scarfing. That's my boy!
Here's to another step on this freakish journey, my friend! I see more great things in store for you.
Happy Birthday!

Aspirations

It seems that when the Obamas visited Great Britain earlier this month there was some brouhaha. Our first lady touched the Queen! (Go ahead, gasp, you know you want to.) The thing is, if you read the accounts, the Queen started it. We may indeed be stepping gently into a new era, the Queen may start wearing Birkenstocks and going vegan. OK, probably not, but perceptions are changing.

Take for instance this quote from another part of the First Family's visit: a cancer patient said [of Mrs. Obama], "I didn't think I'd be allowed to touch her, but she just stopped and wrapped her arms around me. It was amazing."

Who does that remind you of?
It got me to thinking about whether Michelle Obama is the United States' Princess Diana. The late Princess of Wales was credited with making the royal family more accessible and making the people of Great Britain, indeed the world, feel heard by the Windsors. She worked to find a balance between the unspoken contract of her job and her convictions. She was, I believe, unprecedented in the amount of her own time she dedicated to charitable pursuits.

I had a hard time thinking very far back. I couldn't conjure up a time when a first lady had been someone that Americans felt they could wholeheartedly look up to. The photographs of Michelle Obama developing an organic garden at the White House were, for me, reminiscent of Diana touring medic camps and land mine sites. The pro-active nature and willingness to try new things is inspiring to me. She seems the sort of woman, like Diana, who would listen when you spoke, even when they've spent their lives listening to the same old thing.

I am excited about the prospect of America having something we've never had before in a First Lady.
Oh. Then again, maybe she's not brand new. And yet, I welcome the return of this sort of grace, dignity and intelligence to our leadership ranks. I am grateful for this view of someone to whose accmplishments I can aspire and I am, for once, delighted by this instance of history repeating itself.