Thursday, April 15, 2010

One Ringy Dingy

The Joint Council on International  Children's Services put out a call to action for April 15, 2010. This Campaign was developed in the aftermath of a high profile incident concerning international adoptions between Russia and the United States. Our very own JRH is an adoptive parent and she requested the use of this space to participate. The following is her contribution to the call. I would be grateful if you would link, tweet and talk about her story. Please also feel free to leave links to other positive adoption information in the comments.

My almost-four-year-old is a silly, clever, passionate, adorable, loving force of nature.  He's added a completely new dimension to my life, and for that I am grateful... which includes being grateful for the process that brought him into my life... adoption.

I’m not going to tell you it’s easy, or cheap, or convenient.  I’m not going to tell you it doesn’t require trust and faith, in others, in the process, and in your own decision making.  I’m not going to tell you it doesn’t come with doubts.  Because none of those things are true.

Adoption isn’t easy or cheap or convenient.  Adoption requires trust and faith.  Adoption does sometimes make you wonder if it’s a good idea.

But.  Who told you any sort of parenting was easy or cheap or convenient?  Who told you it wasn’t a leap of faith?  Who told you that you’d never wonder what the fudgesicles you were thinking?  (Who told you that you could drop an F-bomb in front of your kid and not have it be repeated?)

I’ll admit that the process of adopting isn’t biological or organic or natural. (And it most certainly will not give you an orgasm.)  It’s human and political and highly regulated, and as such, there are flaws and loopholes and frustration.  On the other hand, pregnancy and childbirth don’t come with guarantees and promises either.   

As is often the case, it’s the scary stories, the sad ones, the mind-boggling ones about adoption that get attention.  Today though let me turn your attention here.

He’s challenging, he’s expensive, and he’s often inconvenient.  He makes me trust my parenting instincts and summon faith that my best will be sufficient.  He sometimes makes me string every grammatical form of the word fudgesicle together in a sentence.

Yet he's affectionate, he's imaginative, and he's smart.  He inspires me to create and perform and dance around the kitchen.  He motivates me to be and do my best.

He’s my forever family.  And adoption made us possible.


  1. Family isn't about blood; I learned that a long, long time ago. Love is all that matters, and it you've got that thoroughly in hand.

  2. Yes. What Mrs. C said. What a beautiful post...and Happy Birthday yesterday...

  3. Thanks, Kizz, for sharing your space for this. Wifeness and I have been the (unofficial) foster parents of two teenagers in the last 10 years and the experience has been challenging in many ways, but incredibly rewarding as well.

  4. Laurie B10:36 PM

    Mr. Wayfarer, thanks to you and Wifeness for being a safe place and sometimes a safe home for the kids and children that have neither.

    KIds in our area sometimes don't have many options.

    You are, and have been, paying it forward. My brief exposure to you through Auntie Fran has allowed me to know that you both are always showing your kids how "good parenting and loving friending" works and how love can happen in that system.

    I'm not sure, is it "family is what love creates" or is it more like "Love is what family creates"?

    I got here by way of Auntie Fran. And then Mrs. Chili and Kizz through you. How lucky am I?

  5. IMO, Laurie, it's "family is what love creates". Love is the thing that binds us and the ones bound closest by love are our family.