Sunday, October 03, 2010

For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her

Dogs get over stuff. They remember a lot more than we give them credit for sometimes but they're almost always willing to try again, to forgive, to move forward.

It is not a stretch, I think, to believe that moving forward, trying again, and forgiving are lessons tailor made for me. It is, perhaps, not surprising that the universe has fitted me with this enormous love of dogs. I appreciate the effort, universe, I'll work on it. I promise.

One year ago today I made the decision to have Emily put down. She was in great pain from whatever neurological monster had hold of her and that was the day I felt certain that keeping her with me would be unfair to her. The first day in all of our time together that I felt like that.

I'm moving forward, I suppose. It's a bit of a stumbling gait but it's forward. But I'm not over it, not by a long shot.

14 comments:

  1. i'm sending you love. all of it. i totally get it and this just reminded me why i am so very blessed to share my life with dogs.

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  2. I don't think we have to measure moving on by the 'getting over it' standard. Some things, like love and loss, we never really get over. Someone just pointed this out to me recently... Maybe it means we have to be as patient with ourselves as our dogs are with us.

    Thinking of you, Emily, and you, too, Emily's girl.

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  3. It doesn't seem like it has been that long...love the picture...she always had that look...like she was always contemplating something...we miss her as well...do something fun today to keep yourself occupied.

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  4. In this photo I believe she was contemplating whether Eva would be bringing her a treat from the coffee shop. Seems longer and shorter all at once. I'm getting a few people together this evening to have a drink honoring the pets we've lost this year. I'll be drinking to Ally, too. Wish you could join us.

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  5. *hug* I totally get this, and I agree with Sara; don't hold "getting over it" as a standard because I don't know that we can ever really reach that.

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  6. No. We'll be the nursing home women, who over and over again tell the therapy dog handlers about the best dogs ever we had in our young womenhood. They'll think we're batshit crazy until they find themselves elderly women in nursing homes talking about their own best dogs ever. Nope. We'll love again, but we won't get over or forget.

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  7. Oh how I dread this day for us. You never get over it. Sending you hugs.

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  8. Naomi B.8:47 AM

    Even though this was yesterday I am sending you loving thoughts and much understanding.

    We had a six month old puppy with a liver shunt issue that I had to take to put down a week ago last Thursday. It became crystal clear that there was nothing more I could do to manage his state and after a particularly agonizing neurological episode the day before, his suffering was too apparent to let continue.
    He was such a love.

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  9. Every time a see a blonde cocker on the street I say, "Oh, my Snuffers." And that's been years and years.

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  10. Miflohny2:35 PM

    I still miss the Miss. Hang in there - lots of hugs being sent your way!

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  11. Aw honey. They are such wonderful friends. It doesn't seem like a year. Hugs.

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  12. So so sorry. I, too, have a painful place in my heart about our old Malamute, who was so weak he died in the LA heat wave of 2007. I always wonder whether he would have suffered more, or less, if we'd put him down.

    But we love our new dog Jack. And he's a comfort. As is your Eddie.

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  13. I agree with everyone here, you never really "get over it." But you do move on, and the pain fades. You'll always remember what you had, though, and it will never be the same with any other dog.

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