Not The Burger Joint

A few weeks ago the dog graduated to being out of his crate at night. It was not a surprise that he slept in the bed from night one nor that he sleeps right up against me at all times regardless of the great tracts of bed available to him. When they have to amputate my right arm at least we'll know why. Last night, though, was the first time he slept under the covers. I'd shown him before but he'd never seemed interested. I have no photos of this since I was basically asleep at the time so you'll have to use your imagination.

Eddie: Hey, what's under there?

Kizz: It's under the covers. I've shown you this before.

E: I don't remember that. Show me again.

K: See for yourself, it's under the covers, no big thang.

E: Oh, it's cozy in here. Warm and I can get closer to you. Don't have to hear the crazy world out there or see the cats sneaking around. I can just relax. I like it down here. If you'd just shove over a little closer to the edge of the bed, that's it, I think I can make a go of this. Yup, just one more turn around and, yeeeeeah. That's the stuff.

K: OK?

E: Yeeeeeah.

K: OK, g'night.

An indeterminate but short time later...

E: It's stuffy under here.

K: Then get out. Shhh, I'm sleeping.

E: I'm uncomfortable.

K: I know. Just get out.

E: Where is out?

K: Exactly where in was. Now shh. Sleeping.

E: I can't find it.

K: Tough then. Stay where you are.

E: I can't find out.

K: Yes you can.

E: No I can't.

K: Yes. You can. You got in, you can get out.

E: You showed me in.

K: And it's the same as out so you already know where it is.

E: Do not.

K: Do so...gah! OK, here is out, just get out. Out out out.

E: Aaahhhhh, sweet out air. Nice.

Pause.

E: So you're going to sleep right there?

K: I am sleeping right there.

E: You gonna stay there?

K: I was planning on it.

E: If you just scooched around a leeeeetle bit I could...

K: Oh for the love of half chewed rawhide, here, I'll move, now go to sleep.

E: Will do, just a couple more turns around, there move that arm, nice, yeeeeeah, that's the stuff.

An indeterminate but only slightly longer time later.

E: It's kind of chilly out here.

K: I know, crazy weather this week.

E: I'm a little chilly. Think I just got a goose pimple.

K: Under the covers?

E: Yes please.

K: Hurry up.

E: Done.

K: Sleep.

E: Could you just...

K: There. Done. Sleep.

E: G'night.

Some time later, I'm totally not sure when because cute does not make up for lost rest.

E: Out. Uncomfy. Need out.

K: Dude. What the fuck?

E: Sleepy. Let me out.

K: Here. Out.

E: Thank you. God. I'm so tired.

K: I wonder why.

An alarm goes off.