Ten Total

I thought I'd write you 10 Reasons You Want Me With You At A Funeral but I only had:

1. I will drive you in the processional so you don't have to shell out for the limo.

2. I will gently urge you to come to the bar around the corner from the funeral home and toast the deceased with a glass of champagne before calling hours begin.

3. I will leap up while we wait at the stop light, dash out of my car and toss my economy-sized bag of mini Chips Ahoy into the limo (if you did spring for it) for you so you don't pass out during the service.

4. I always bring a hanky.

Then I lost steam. So how about 10 Reasons You Want Me With You At A Wedding:

1. I'll keep the car gassed and running out back...just in case.

2. I'll go back to the house and get your vows (assuming you've written them already) which you forgot next to the bed.

3. I'll carry your stuff so you (and your bridesmaids) don't have to.

4. I always bring a hanky.

At which I also became steamless so...what's left exactly? 10 Reasons You Want Me With You:

1. I'll bring the cakeballs.

2. And a hanky.