Sunday, May 26, 2013

Dog Drinks

Genius?It's probably about time we had a little fun, don't you think?

Yesterday Michelle and I walked the dogs in the park and through the greenmarket despite the chilly temps and persistent rain. We were all shivering and sad about it but glad for good conversation to keep our minds off the fact that it was May and we were still wearing elements of our winter clothing.

On the way home I explained Drunk Dog Training. It's probably a terrible idea but Sara and I seem to be having some success with it. We drink wine, chat, and train our dogs to do silly things. Currently we spend a lot of time teaching them to whine on cue...rather than all the damn time like they do now. They're getting pretty good. I explained that we'd be expanding our drunk dog training posse tomorrow because we planned to take dogs and people to a local pub after our regularly scheduled training class. This revelation of our insanity led to the following:

Michelle: Will the dogs be drinking?

Me: Probably not. I suspect Rikke won't let us get them drunk.

Michelle: What would Ed's drink of choice be if he did drink, though?

Me: (without pausing for thought) Old fashioned.

Michelle: With our without the fruit?

Me: (talking over her) Definitely with the fruit!

As I walked the rest of the way home after Michelle peeled off I wondered if I was right. Ed is sort of an old man, it might be the right drink for him. He's awfully picky. He'd probably specify his whiskey and refuse to have a drink if the bar didn't stock the right brand. He might be a wine, guy, though. He doesn't have strong appetites. He'd probably be a super snobby wine guy if he had wine.

Now, Emily, I'd have to call her a beer drinker. She'd be the girl the guys loved to hang around because she drank beer just like them. She wouldn't be picky about it, either. She'd be happy to drink a microbrew or a Guiness but she'd be just as happy with a Rolling Rock or a Brooklyn or whatever was on tap that day. If she lived in England she'd be a lager girl, Carlsberg all the way.

My cats? Wine spritzers. No question. If they'd lived in the 80s they'd have had stock in Bartles & James. Light weights, both of them, who probably shouldn't be drinking anyway, for mental health reasons.

Your turn, what would your pets drink, if such a thing were at all possible.

*No one at this blog condones serving alcohol to animals. Ever.


  1. I think Daisy would be a Kahlua and cream kind of girl. She likes milk-based foods and she's pretty classy and uppity.

  2. Wiley: French 75 or something equally uppity. he's a fancy boy. if he were to drink beer, local microbrews only, please.

    Aggie: bottom-shelf liquor, straight (or on the rocks, maybe). if beer, plain old Coors. she's not picky about much of anything.

  3. Jack is kind of a mellow hipster. Maybe a mojito?