Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Timeless Love

Today has felt like a good day right from the start.

As soon as I hopped out of bed this morning I decided to take a quick look for an interim harness for the dog so we could start some special anti-tennis court training even though his new fancy harness hasn't been shipped yet. Only 5 minutes out of bed and I was rewarded again with proof of a great day in the making because they were in the first place I tried, right out in plain sight! Granted they were all tangled together with a couple of collars and some tie line but Halloween costume clean up isn't always pretty.

I peeled off a harness I didn't want to use. I disengaged another one that I thought might work and stared at it a while trying to figure out exactly how it's supposed to fit on my boy. Hoping to find a more straightforward example I picked through the myriad scraps of tie line, discarded a collar, picked up what I thought was another collar and....

What's this now?

Could it be?

Oh my lamb, come to mama for she has missed you!

Time is On My Side

It may not look like much to anyone else but for me it is the jewel in the motherfucking crown. I have been looking for my watch for months. Apparently since Halloween or at least Thanksgiving when I had a party and would have had to clear away the Halloween detritus. I thought it was somewhere in the kitchen, perhaps irretrievably lost behind the dishwasher.

"You didn't just buy another one?" asked a friend.

Aw shut it you practical people. No, I didn't. I am descended from Puritans. I lost the watch and must be punished for my carelessness. I am the reason we cannot have nice things! Thank goodness my punishment is over now.

Others might ask how liberating it was to be free of the constraints of time for so long.

To that I'd have to answer, "I wasn't free from the constraints of time. I still had to be places and do things by certain hours and minutes. What I was free from was the ability to easily know when I was going to fucking blow it!" Yes, I have a cell phone and it keeps time but it's such a bull-in-the-china-shop way of doing it. I turn my cell phone off in movies and plays or on airplanes (because it's the only polite way to do things) but sometimes I still like to know what time it is. If we're half an hour in to Pacific Rim and I have to pee then I'm going to have to run out. If we're two and a half hours under that water then I can probably wait the final ten minutes or so. Have we been taxiing for take off for three minutes or three hundred? Inquiring minds want to know!

Welcome home, dear friend. I have wound you and donned you and even fondled you a little. Let's never be parted again.


  1. LMAO! Puritans, LOL!

  2. Yay for found watches, but what about the tangled harness? Did it function as you hoped?

  3. I keep forgetting to replace the battery in my watch! it's been months!

  4. I looked at my watch yesterday and realized it was set to the wrong time zone. I've been home for 3 weeks. Oops.