Saturday, January 15, 2005

Thrifty can be fun!

Now, I know that cleaning out one's refrigerator on a Saturday night could be construed as boring or sad or possibly even pathetic. I'm here to tell you that it's both cheaper and can be reliably more fulfilling than a night painting the town red.

You could pay $10 plus transportation and candy and the inevitable beer afterwards to go to a movie. And you could choose a thriller or a horror flick to get the maximum adrenaline rush. At home, for free you can you can get the same rush. "Ah, god, open the garbage can quick, it's dripping! Get it off me! Get it off! Agh!"

It's far more satisfying than spending the evening doing volunteer work. After all, the life you're saving IS your own.

The trivia contest at your local watering hole can exercise your memory. But isn't it harder to remember what used to be in that tupperware that now seems to contain only a foul smelling mist?

My kitchen, my entire apartment really, would be a fabulous field trip for a chemistry class. However, I think I'd be a better guest speaker for Home Economics classes. (Is that what they call them now?) My lecture/demonstration would be, "REAL Domestic Arts".

I could tell the students which foods start out solid and end up liquid. (Pretty much anything in the vegetable family.) Which ones start out liquid and end up solid. (Notably gravy.) And the advanced kids could help me figure out which ones pass through both those states and end up as that damn mist. (Anyone have ANY idea?)

I can dispel common myths perpetrated by uptight parents and teachers. Refusing to take your garbage out for a month does NOT in fact guarantee that you will get long as you have a tight fitting lid on your garbage can.

I've got tips. Pretty smelling candles aren't just for the bathroom anymore. Especially during semi-annual fridge cleaning.

I could even branch out into sewing and home repair. Because yes, it's preferable to get out the needle and thread when your keys punch a hole in your coat pocket, but it's much easier and just as effective to get out the duct tape. Cross hatching the duct tape makes for longer lasting repair.

I don't want to see these kids go out into the world unprepared for the realities of keeping one's own house. It could be dangerous. And expensive, too.

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