Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Moo what?

If I ever use the term "moo juice" please punish me severely.

I can moo like a cow.

I can sing 27 verses of Old MacDonald Had a Farm.

I can even imitate Elmo.

But upon hearing, "Here's your moo juice my cranky wanky little princess." or the like please immediately remove the child from my custody and smack me repeatedly upside the head with a rubber mallet until the problem has been rectified.

Thank you for your assistance.


  1. uhhhhh, are you fucking kidding me? Yes. Sign me up for said bitch slappin. Really? I'd type more but I have to go the the bathroom and make breakfast paste. the hell is wrong with parents??? good thing I only have frogs.

  2. I am a parent - have been for almost nine years now - and never ONCE have I uttered the vile term. Then again, in this house we refer to pretty much everything by its actual name, body parts included.

    Honestly? The only time I've every actually heard someone use the term "moo juice" in conversation was in a dining hall at the university - I swear the kid had to be at least 19 years old. And who came up with such a stupid-ass thing to call milk, anyway?

    By the way, this post inspired me to go looking for the Calvin and Hobbes comic where Calvin muses about all the oddities of humanity and says something like "I wonder who the first guy was to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out" - but alas - I couldn't find it. Sorry

  3. I, too, am a parent who avoids uddering the term "Moo-Juice".
    And I, like Calvin, have mooosed about all the oddit[sound of hands prying each other off of the keys]

  4. Vanx, are you dissing me? You should know I'm an English teacher and have some issues with verbosity. I'm in a program....

  5. Mooosed? Vanx, you're so cut off. :)

  6. Kizz--More like sawed off ,:^(

    s, c'mon!...I was just playin'!
    I could tell you were an English teacher right off the bat, by the way, because I have been surrounded by English Teachers at certain points in my life, and they were always using actual names for body parts. Stand by for my signature smiley face, which cancels the sawed-off face above and means I'm still, as always, just playin--

  7. I knew you were - and I was playing right along with you (yes, in fact - English teachers DO have a sense of humor!).

    I was serious, though, about the program; I sometimes feel I need an intervention, especially when my six year old starts using words like "intermittently" and "I believe I'm a bit full at the moment." I shit you not.

  8. The reason you're up to eight comments here, you know, is that you mentioned a muppet.

  9. Hell yes! I'm starting to get savvy about this internet thing, learning how to pull people in.

  10. Beatles lyrics work too.