Friday, April 28, 2006


A friend was talking the other day about loving to do Morning Pages, as prescribed by Julia Cameron. She wants to start mirroring that with some sort of writing in the evening, something to wrap up her day and make it feel done. That sounded good to me. I know I've been a little lax about writing here, too, lately so I thought I might try to do a little something, something small, no pressure for pictures or formatting or linkage or anything, just a comment on the day.

Here's my first one.

For a little over a month I've been taking this floor barre class once a week. I'm never going to be a ballet dancer and that's OK with me. I wanted to take something, to do something in terms of exercise, something outside my house. I had taken floor barre about 15 years ago for a summer, going a few times a week. I like the way it helps me get aligned and I knew I could do it and not feel completely lost or ugle or stupid.

I have some friends who are keeping up with my progress in the class. Completely separate from the friends who are making fun of me for paying money to lay on the floor and get yelled at...for exercise. Anyway, the progress friends keep asking how much I'm liking it and how exciting I must be and whatnot. Um, I'm not. I'm comitted to going regularly and there is a brief period after each class where I feel sort of virtuous. But I don't enjoy it. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not ever going to. I don't get that whole endorphin rush thing from it, either. I came home today and went to sleep on the couch for a long time. Not wholely because I'm still sick.

I know the endorphin rush. I used to get it when I went to tap class. But that was a really specific tap class and that class doesn't happen again.

I'm going to keep going to class and I think I'm getting better. The teacher keeps using me as an example, and sometimes not even as an example of what not to do. I think my body is changing a little. I've added a lot of walking to my days, too. I'd really like to get skinnier but I'm not going to kill myself to get there.

For now I'd settle for being healthy again.


  1. Is it possible to find something that does what you want in terms of movement and accomplishment and exercise, but that you also enjoy? It seems to me that you'd get a whole lot more out of it if you looked forward to what you're doing. Just a thought.

  2. What you say is logical and you certainly aren't the first to put forth the hypothesis and yet I gotta say no. I remember seeing a snippet of Oprah after her most recent workout weight loss deal. Some time after. And she was talking about all she does to lose and maintain and how she still hates it, just hates it. And everyone says, "Oh you'll come to love it." but she never has, it's just not her thing. I think I'm like Oprah. I'm just not a huge fan of the (mixed company approved) physical pursuits. I don't want to play sports, I don't wan to take a regular dance class, I already do dance in my own kitchen when I can and I already walk about as much as one can given the other things I need to fit into my day. I can't think of anything I'd enjoy doing much less look forward to.

  3. My favorite element of any Degas ballerina painting is the old bastard with the stick.

    I must say that I am completely ignorant of dance and traditional dance lore. Floor barre--he wrote Madame Bovary, right?~,:^)Just playin'.

    The enjoyment thing is a tough question. Did Mohammad Ali enjoy fighting? He got something out of it.

  4. The evil part of me would immediately respond, "Yeah, sure, he got something out of it - Parkinson's, the shakes, loss of language."

    The less evil part of me agrees completely. It's probably not a ton of fun to get wacked in the face (or teaching your kid to parallel park) but we do get something out of it.