Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Cold as...

...a witch's tit in a brass bra face down in the snow.

OK, really it's not that cold. Which isn't to say it's not cold. More of a braless witch's tit sort of a cold. Possibly face down in the snow but a light snow, more of a dusting or a heavy frost.

It's the kind of cold that makes you just say "Balls!" when the shower isn't scalding hot.

Which has me thinking that it's more of a balls front slide into a snowbank kind of a cold. You know, like that guy in Mystery, Alaska who ratted out Ron Eldard's character for being...well, for being the kind of guy you're not even surprised is nicknamed 'Skank'.

Anyway, it's cold here. I'm wearing my padded bra, not for fashion, it's for warmth.


  1. Anonymous4:44 PM

    THIS is what I'm sayin' - it's freaking cold! And to make it worse, everything around our parts is coated with a lovely - but deadly - layer of ice that, obviously, is not melting in this weather. The roads are pretty okay - chemicals are wonderous things - but the sidewalks and edges are still pretty slick, and I'm living in fear of hitching JUST SO and throwing my back out for the rest of the year.


  2. it's 50 degrees in my house. Still no heat. Slept in several layers of clothing. We're expecting to get up to 8 or 10" more snow this weekend, which means that bitch storm is heading your way eventually. OVER IT!!!!! Let's hit the islands and listen to steel drums and drink fabulous rum or vodka drinks. Or some exotic beer. Eat fabulously spicey food with great flavor, and have a massage from Sven "WonderHands" A-licious.
    Wanna go? Anyone is welcome! This hut holds many.

  3. Russell Crowe, naked.. suddenly things just got a whole lot warmer around here.
    Thanks for the reminder.