The radio talks to me

I've heard this Colin Hay song on a couple of TV shows now. It's called Waiting for My Real Life to Begin. I love the lyrics and it seemed so hopeful that I immediately went out and bought it. By went out I totally mean, logged in and hit "Buy Now".

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

In those shows, though, they don't sing the break, or they put dialogue over it. I listened to the song the whole way through the first time and my mood plummeted.

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

My life has felt a lot like that break lately. I don't know that I'm doing enough, that I'm trying enough. Every time I try to do something I have to peel vegetables or walk the dog or bring juice to a friend or fix the printer first and I just don't have the energy to do it all. It seems like everyone else is doing so much more.

I dream big. So big. I don't tell anyone about it.

I live pretty small, though. I wish I didn't but it's hard to turn that around.

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

I keep listening to this song. I'm finding it simultaneously heart wrenching and strangely motivating. I think I might be starting to head to the docks at least. Perhaps I'll pick a ship on which to go out.