Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Shouting Back

I have been saving comments to reply to in a post for months now, it's getting unmanageable but I still don't post the post. Well, I've got about 40 minutes while I'm waiting to meet Kath to see a real, live Broadway play so I'll see what I can get through (in reverse chronological order, natch) in that time. I can't promise any links.

Chrome Plated Girl should teach classes on how to diffuse anger. For last night's post she said, "You're pretty when you're mad." Flattery will get you everywhere, my love.

ProfDoc/JRH wants to know how one can call Emergency Services "wrong". Well, you could dial 199 I suppose. That's not what I did, though. I live in a cluster of buildings and you access them through a common entrance into a courtyard. Apparently some people (not me) call and say that certain action is happening "in front of" the building in question and the police take that to be the street side so they go, see nothing and move on. First, when I call I always (always, isn't that a comforting thing to say about calling the police, "every time I call them" which implies it's more than once in a lifetime) say I'm talking about the courtyard and I often go on to explain exactly how you get to where I'm talking about when the operator goggles a bit. Secondly, it's one precinct and my complex holds a lot of the members of that precinct. If you've worked here more than a week I suspect you've got a clue how the damn thing works and that you'd take a peek in the courtyard on general principles. But no. What. Ever. Bitches.

About the close up of the young man, MKAEP wants to know who he is and Chili wants to know if the 8 year old is still in there. That's the Athlete. He's the Bee's son and he's actually dropped out of all his athletics at the time of this writing but once I've got a name I'm sticking with it. I've known him since he was about 6. I don't know why I feel a freaky link to him but I really do. And hell yes, the 8 year old is still in there. I think that's true of all of us, don't you? I look at the Bean Chili and she's still, just partly, that crab walking 18 month old with the killer grin. I wrote about going out with Crash and Ulserad a couple of months ago and how they see the 14 year old me when we're together. It's all still in there, it just may not be driving the bus. Or worse yet perhaps it is at the wheel. My inner child drives Formula 1.

Speaking of buses, when I wrote of Bus Wisdom Chili said, "CLICK! 'Splain THAT to they guy in the FotoMat!!" And to that I say, "Huh?" 'Splain, please? Or at least sum up?

Wayfarer advocates portion control on the bagels and I heartily agree. Except I also plead laziness. I miss not only the yum of the bagel but being able to walk into a bagel store and have the nice people make me an X bagel with Y cream cheese and then just eating it. For the portion control I'd have to.. well, purchase bagels and control my portions. So, my complaint was not comprehensive. But I may be purchasing some bagels and freezing them in halves now.

I kinda took Chili's comment about Nanny looking dead really badly. She's not freaking dead! Now I've had some time to release the shock and bristle I can just explain. Nanny had a couple of very bad strokes and was back on her feet. Then she fell and broke a hip and during the rehab she started sundowning and things progressed. Now she does know when we're there but she doesn't seem to know who we are and she doesn't speak anymore. She does laugh sometimes and we like to think it's with/at us. While we're doing interesting connections, I was recently talking to the Athlete about a conversation he and I had on the way to take those pictures last year. He was, in a pretty nice way, expressing his discomfort at visiting her in the nursing home. Having done a lot of nursing home visits as a kid and having hated the crap out of them (have I mentioned lately how old my people tend to get?) I felt qualified to talk about it. I did, however, give all the standard answers about how it's a good thing to do even though it does suck and it is unfathomably uncomfortable and how when you get older you get less hung up about it if you have exposure early and often. My favorite part of it, though, was that he didn't say he didn't want to visit her he said he wished we could just bring her home the way we used to.

Gertrude gave a plug for the book Marley & Me. I have read it. ProfDoc lent it to me and I knew what it was going to be like yet I read it anyway. It's a lovely sweet book, but you gotta know that a memoir about a dog isn't going to end at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm. I got to the last 3 pages on the bus home one night so I just walked to my couch, read the last 3 pages, blubbered like a whale and called a couple of dog friends to see if they would walk their dogs with us. Marley was indeed a fabulous dog, he's no Emily but...

I appreciate the comment from the Breast Cancer people. It went a little like this:
"Breast Cancer education
Common Breast Cancer Myths

The first myth pertaining to this disease is that it only affects women.

Second myth that is associated with this disease is that if one has found a lump during an examination, it is cancer.

Third is that it is solely hereditary

The next myth associated with breast cancer is downright ridiculous. Would you believe, that in this day and age, some individuals still think that breast cancer is contagious?

Conversely, some individuals foolishly believe that breast size determines whether or not one gets cancer.

Finally, another myth that is associated with this disease is that it only affects older people. This is not so. Although the chance of getting breast cancer increases with age, women as young as 18 have been diagnosed with the disease.

You can find a number of helpful informative articles on Breast Cancer education at

Breast Cancer education"

If that comment helps even one person then it's totally worth it. But (and I haven't gone back to verify this) I bet it was made on a post that was about someone dying of lung cancer and if the person (who I know is probably a spambot and not a person) had actually read the blog they'd know that I'm pretty well informed on the breast cancer front and not badly informed on the lung cancer front and I'm not afraid to say so. If you think I don't know that age isn't a factor in who gets cancer then you simply haven't read the archives. The only surprise about these myths is that (no offense) anyone else still believes them.

ProfDoc/JRH provides possibly the winning "Who's Your Sign" from my stupid encounter with the dogs and the gods, "No, I do that at home in the shower." It's hilarious and it gives me creepy flashbacks to a Dawson Leery moment. I think I just peed a little.

MKAEP, however, gives probably the most accurate "Going Brooklyn on their ass" response, "No you dumbshit, I'm in the middle of a colonoscopy and a manicure." She then follows up with the nastiest and most off-putting but but side splitting response, "Nope. Just finished a threesome."

Clemo said this after VA Tech, "And with every new act of inhumanity, we come together for fifteen minutes and SWEAR it will never happen again. And we mourn the lost, we grieve with the ones that remain to carry the scars, and we look up to the sky and wonder....where will the next one come from?

I send out a general appeal; for every horrifying story, I want a story of positive human endeavor. And I DON'T think it's too much to ask."

I don't think I ever responded with a positive human endeavor story. What's worse, I can't think of one right now. I'll work on it but I urge everyone else to take up the challenge as well.

Clemo also reminded me of a huge scheduling snafu. "Thank you for your invitation to your 20th reunion....but not only is that my birthday, but the last Potter book comes out that day, so I'll be busy, busy, busy." My HP book is pre-ordered in Brooklyn and I'm going to be in NH! AAAARGH!

Becky and all her new high falutin' book larnin' tells me that the cat thing is most certainly not heat rash and here's why, "You knew I couldn't resist this one.

So... heat rash comes from inflamed, blocked sweat glands... but cats don't sweat. It might still be the heat or laundry chemicals, but I'd consider eczema or psoriasis in your differential diagnosis.

My childhood dog had a wicked and torturous case of eczema that, unfortunately, we were never really able to predict or control. Poor Lena."

I've got an oatmeal shampoo from Kristie to try and I'll keep you posted on the success right. Yup, you're paying for the whole seat but I'm only letting you use the edge!

Have I told the Crane story yet? If I haven't I will. But someone tell me if I need to, willya? I'm still a little scattered. Not really in research mode.

OK, 5 minutes to proofread and tag and then I'm off to get pretty and eat something and meet a pretty lady to see a pretty play.

Or something.


  1. Anonymous8:19 PM

    First off, I'm sorry that I pissed you off with my Nanny comment. I was a little creeped out by the picture, is all.

    Second, I can't remember the CONTEXT for the "CLICK! 'Splain THAT to the guy in the FotoMat!" comment, but it's a bit from an OLD Eddie Murhpy routine. He grabs a camera from a guy in the audience, pulls his waistband out, snaps a picture of his dick, hand the camera back and delivers the "'Splain THAT" line. It STILL cracks me up to think about it, and I'm betting that either he never took the picture (though I DO remember the flash going off) or the audience member never left the show with that roll of film.

  2. Anonymous11:11 AM

    OH! RIGHT!! Wasn't "Bus Wisdom" the post about the kids having the discussion about the other kid who took pictures of his own penis? NOW it makes sense!

  3. Anonymous2:51 PM

    regarding your quotation of me in the latest entry...

    Did I write that?

    Wow. It's....not bad.

    Thanks for reminding me.