New Feature

OK, today has not been a banner day. Really not. I purchased a 2nd Harry Potter on Gertie's advice. Gert is something of an expert on these things and she says that at some point my unique copy of the book will make a little money. I'm wrapping it in a plastic bag, putting a label on it with the exact specs and waiting for Gert to tell me what to do and when. OK Gert, deal?

When I picked up my mail on the way home to walk the dog before I could take the 60+ minute round trip to pick up the new book I got a notice from my health insurance company. Due to "normal" cost increases my insurance goes up over $200 per month starting September. For those of us counting that's 5 weeks from now.

Jesus fuck people.

Anyway, this is all coming in the middle of a storm of money spending. Things that are being discontinued that if I want I must buy now. Clothes for a new body. The program that got me the new body. The food with the program. The trips. Your mom needs you, you only get one 20th high school reunion, your dad only gets married onc....er, well, you get the idea. We all know that I have some savings so I've been bailing myself out but I hate that I'm taking money out of savings. Hate it. I don't want to stop my automatic investing. But this is what happens to me, just when I feel comfortable buying both the things that I need and those I want, just when I see that I might be able to blow off the regular job somehow* I get blindsided by stuff and I freak out.

I hate the freaking out.

Knowledge is power, right? So the new feature is going to be daily. Daily, eek! I need to make a budget. I need to understand what I spend so I can see what the frak is happening here and feel more comfortable. Starting today I'm going to tell you where every penny I spend goes. I'm going to do that for at least a month. I'm treating it like I did the weight loss. The first month (it was a week for the weight) is going to be just about seeing what goes out (it was in for the weight, I know, same concept) and not try to change it. If it's to be a true portrait of what I spend then I can't be trying to record it and change it all at the same time. This is the first step that the Budgeting Babe told us to take. After that, I don't know, I'll have to ask her.

Welcome to your new jobs as my accountability, people. The pay sucks but the benefits...well, they also suck, thanks for signing on!

Today:
$76 - monthly metrocard
$7.80 - salad for lunch
$.20 - to homeless guy on train
$30.35 - replacement Harry Potter book
$.65 - to homeless guy on the street
$4 - Tasti D + tip

Total:
$119 (OH MY GOD! OK, monthly metrocard, OK, not so bad. Breathing. OK. Whew. Frak.)

*My head believes that this year is all about making me understand that I will never feel as though I'm "ready" or "safe enough" to do any of the delicious dream things that I want/need to do but that I should do them anyway. The rest of me is still stubbornly refusing to make those leaps.