Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I Thought This Exercise Would Make Me Feel Better

Surprisingly I was able to sleep last night but not much. Every waking moment my brain is trying to figure out how in holy fuck I am supposed to do the things I already do and want to do on what I'm making. It's not like I'm vacationing in pretty places or going to clubs every night.

My insurance isn't $1000, it's $991. Huuuuuuuuge difference. Er, not. It's not a contribution to a family plan because I am my own family. I'm thinking about changing insurance but it's really hard to find an insurance that does individual plans and that works for someone as inept/inexperienced with the medical system as me. Miflohny has suggested Oxford and another friend suggested Freelancers Union or another group like that. I don't know any other groups like that, do you? The thing about that is that the guys I work for pay me the exact amount of my payment (goes into my salary pre-tax) and whenever it's gone up they've upped their payment without question. If I reduce the payment by more than like $100 a month I won't feel right not telling them and they may or may not decide to reduce their payment accordingly, you never know with these guys except that I do know that honesty is the best policy. The other thing is that I've already paid my deductible on prescriptions (the only deductible for this plan) and I'm almost certain that any other plan will have a deductible so I'll be paying that for the 3 months of this year left if I switch now. I'll research through the end of the year and make a choice for the beginning of 2008.

I realize I didn't add in my floor barre classes to that estimate in the health section which means that I'll have to squash some money out of somewhere else. I can't reduce the eating out this month because I've got friends coming in from out of town. There's not extra room here, Christmas will come entirely out of savings.

But I do get a bonus at the end of the year usually. Where did that go this year?

What about the rehearsal space and the show I want to do? Is that all coming out of savings now? I guess it can but I'm not saving enough now am I, next to the eating out my $150 of investment seems paltry....

And the pets? I'm budgeting them for the bare minimum, really wishing I hadn't bought those special treats for the dog but they're supposed to help her back legs which aren't working but they're unbelievably expensive. They all need to go to the vet again, where does that come from? Savings again? It's not that they're not worth it but...

I don't need new clothes.

I guess I'm not getting those pictures framed.

Just wait and see.

Just wait and see what? My money being sucked out of the proverbial hole in the airplane?!

This is just a sample of what is going on in my mind. People? Budgeting is about to change my mind about whether I should medicate my anxiety.


  1. I don't know that ANY exercise involving budgeting and / or money is EVER going to make anyone actually feel better. Ever.

  2. Hi Kizz, thanks for the lovely postcard (I love the words/sentiments on it) and the origami bird. I got them today. Will blog about it tomorrow.