Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Too Funny Not to Share

I'm not a huge fan of the Yanks but I try to be respectful since I live in their territory and because I like baseball as a whole sport, not just my beloved and super awesome team. However, big however, this item from SNL's Weekend Update was just way to funny not to share.

Alex Rodriguez announced Sunday that he would opt out of his contract with the Yankees to become a free agent, making him a perfect fit for teams who have money to burn but hate winning.

Yeah, it was an A-Rod joke so, clearly it was fair game. Let me add my voice to the chorus of Red Sox fans screaming, "No. No thank you. No, please, no. No means no! No A-Rod, not now, not ever."


  1. That killed me. It was perfect. A-Rod has sucked the life out of every team he's been with so far. As soon as he leaves, his former team does much better (see 2001 Seattle Mariners: 25 win increase http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/SEA/2001.shtml and the 2004 Texas Rangers: 18 win increase http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/TEX/2004.shtml He's a monster fantasy league player, just not so much of a reality add-to-his-team's overall-performance player.

    That said, even if we look at the average win increase (21.5) following A-Rod's departure, Joe Girardi's 2008 Yankees could be in for a 115 win season, which would do just fine by me. (Actually, another run of the mill 100 win season would be just fine by me, no need to get too greedy) Plus, it would be a nice way to say goodbye to The Stadium.

    And good luck to Schilling on collecting any of the $4M in performance based incentives next year. Is it too much to hope that Schilling will lose his laptop thereby saving the rest of the world from his 38 Bitches, um, Pitches blog?

    But I digress...

  2. I love to see Schilling pitch and I love that he's a tremendously loyal team player. I stick my fingers in my ears and sing loudly when he talks politics. I had no idea he had a blog, I think I'm going to try and forget it.

    A-Rod couldn't care less that there are other people on a team, he's always playing with, I mean, for himself. There's a good chance he's everything that's bad about high profile sports these days. Sigh.

    What's going on with Petitte? I saw a headline about him opting out today but I don't know if he opted out of a contract offer or out of free agency.

  3. He declined the player option for the '08 season ($16M), which just means he was in the driver's seat and had the option of staying and playing. He's just not sure if he's going to play next year or not. He's said on several ocassions (himself and through his agents the Hendricks brothers) that his only options for '08 are to return to the Yanks or retire.

    For now, he's declining the player option. Cashman has said that Petitte has all the time he needs to decide if he wants to pitch next year and that he has a standing $16M contract for next year if he so chooses to pitch.

    His arm, he says, hasn't felt this good in years. He was completely pain free this year, which hasn't happened in Steve Martin knows when. So, it comes down to a family decision really. He's only 35, he's got more than a few years left in him. Jeezy Creezy, when the Rocket was 35, Dan Duquette was saying he was all washed up and "in the twilight of his career" and bid him 'happy trails' from Bahston. 11 years and 4 Cy Young awards later, he finally looks like he may be done. So, I'd say that Petitte has a at least 3 more above average seasons left in him.

    I certainly hope he thinks he has at least 1 more, we need him next year. 'specially with the Moose definitely in the twilight of his career.

    A-Rod is a monster, a first ballot Hall of Famer, almost certainly the future all time Home Run King, and a self-absorbed tool who doesn't even know how he likes his eggs.

    ...and Schilling can just bite me. Curt. Please, STFU and just pitch. His numbers won't get him into the Hall, but we all have his future in broadcasting to look forward to...let's see, ESPN has Joe Morgan, Fox has Tim McCarver, maybe TBS will hire Curt as their resident "Back When I Was Playing" Name Dropping Color Tool.

  4. Anonymous7:32 AM

    I'm sorry, did someone make the outrageous claim that there was something humorous related to baseball? Don't you have to be awake to laugh? Baseball is such a snoozer, the game is so boring that they keep stats which have absolutely no significance, and prattle about them as though they were, say, the price of oil, or the number of mortgages going into foreclosure.
    Let's see: Player A comes to bat under a full moon, after the All Star "game," with a runner on 3d, against a left-handed pitcher, in a night game, in a mid-term election year, after homering against the last right-handed pitcher he faced with a man on third, in a road game west of the Mississippi, in the 8th inning, with less than a dozen orthopedic surgeons in the stands, while his team is trailing by 3 or more runs, [need I go on?]. Some announcer will doubtless tell me all of this rubbish, while the pitcher is screwing around with his crotch, and the batter is re-doing the velcro on his batting gloves for the ten-fucking-thousandth time, and the home-plate umpire is pondering some aspect of reality that has heretofore eluded him instead of telling the players to maybe, umm, Play The Freaking Game!

    Meanwhile, this slow-assed "sport" is contemplating making the games even longer by adding instant replay.

    On the other hand, when it comes to soporific "sports," don't get me started on soccer.