Thursday, December 06, 2007

It's Really Too Bad I Only Have PhotoBooth at Work

I feel lighter, both physically and emotionally!

Here's the stitch-free, steri-strip covered wound. I leave the strips on (they're glued down with a foul-smelling adhesive) until they fall off and then I just take care of the skin until it heals, no bandaging necessary. When I left the doc's office (whole 'nother post) this morning they weren't quite as transparent. Now I understand why people keep staring at me. I am hat free for the moment because the glue was still wet when I left and they did a bunch of poking and prodding so I fear hat band pressure because my head feels pummeled.

With the staring I realize I need to come up with better stories when/if people ask what the fuck is up with my head. My one liners are OK but I think I could benefit from some internet input. Here's what I've got so far:

Turkey carving accident.
Got into a fight at a hockey game.
Black Friday tragedy.
Cats. So many cats.


  1. For now:

    I need that question like I need a hole in the head... Oh wait!

    Sharp headboard.

    I had a tatoo removed.

    I'm a recovering unicorn (or rhinocerous).

  2. My friend, Grady County Ringo, once described a hickey as a "bizarre stapler incident." That then became the catch-all phrase for any manner of wound.

  3. Wow. Your office looks a lot like I always imagined it did.

    Okay - JRH is FUNNY. I got to the last suggestion and remembered the "twenny theben. THIT! Thebenty too!" guy with the "umicef" skit.

  4. "Apples, archery, you know how it is..."

  5. How about land shark?

    Glad you're feeling better.

  6. Anonymous5:07 PM

    Had my ESP serviced.

    Top secret government research. If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

    Bad shellfish.

    Pigeon attack. Be VERY careful.

    Stray bullet.

    Ice hockey.

    I don't know what happened--I went in for a tonsilectomy and came out looking like this.

    Jokes like this suggest you're feeling better. This is good news! Loved the hat parade.


  7. 1."My last sexual partner tried to fuck my brains out."

    2.His dick was so big....

    3."Its the shoes, they make me fall down." Hank Azaria - the Birdcage

    4."Its a zit, get it?" Jahn Bulushi - Animal House

    5.Now I am as intelligent as our current President.

    6.Say "Hunted with Dick Cheeney" and point to head.

    7.I was hoping he (current sexual partner) would just eat my pussy.

    8. Third nipple.

    9. Russell Crowe.

    10. Bizarre acid trip while reading Grey's Anatomy.

  8. Mrs. G, what is land shark from? I can't remember and it's killing me!