Sunday, January 27, 2008

Irresistible Sexay

Gypsy participates in TMI Tuesdays. I love to read the answers but haven't ever had the urge to participate...until now. I just loved this set of questions so I decided I'd answer them. It's not called TMI (Too Much Information)Tuesday for nothing. You have been warned.

1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear ‘lucky jeans’ on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?

No. Although with the epic dry spell I've have you'd think I'd been draining chickens of their blood and knitting my own lucky skivvies by now.

2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish — to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be?

- your spouse/significant other
- an unrequited love or some person you’ve had a crush on
- an old/past love
- your best friend

On the one hand I'd ask for one specific old lover since we bonded over all things beach-related. So if I was planning to stay on the deserted island he'd be my pick. If I wanted to get the hell off I'd ask for JAM because of the choices listed here he's most likely to have the skills to get us the hell home.

3) Tell us “weather or not” you’re in the mood — how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.

I hate to be cold. If you want to seduce me in a cold climate or place then you'd better be ready to keep me toastily under the covers until you've warmed me up. If you whip the covers off me and try to take my socks off it will instantaneously kill my mood. The heat doesn't so much bother me. I even kind of like getting sweaty together. I did once have a super sweater, though, and he dripped sweat in my eye and that sucked. A cool, rainy day when we can be snuggled up all day in bed is probably your best bet. I kind of love the rain. It smells nice and it provides a good soundtrack, too.

4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a ‘I’m drunk, let’s screw’ sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink — which one of those things is the reason?)

I am a chatty drunk who then moves on to being a crying drunk. If I get drunk I'll start telling you a story about what I had for lunch and I'll go all the way back to what I had for lunch once in elementary school to give you the appropriate back story. I will give you no clue as to where I'm going with the school lunch part, either. I don't know why people don't push me off the bar stool at that point. Then I tell sad stories and then I cry. Just as Zelda.

5) Who turns you on the most & why:

the activist
the author
the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.)
the comedian
the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.)
the model
the musician
the politician
the scientist

If I had to pick one it'd have to be the comedian. I get nervous, it helps if you make me laugh. If I get to mix and match I'd mix the educator with the comedian to find the perfect guy. Smart and funny? I think my panties just dissolved.

Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what’s the one thing you’ve done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn’t quite work out?

Sex on the beach and food on the body. Do you know how long it takes to lick chocolate sauce out of chest hair? Past the point where anyone is having any fun. Champagne runs off your body really quickly so you don't really get any and it soaks into your mattress. Sex in a sauna and sex on an unforgiving kitchen floor were also not quite as fun as you'd think.

1 comment:

  1. So much good writing in there. Panties dissolving. Stealing that.
    I had no idea your a sad drinker. But sounds interesting none the less. What you had for lunch?
    Where are those things stored that they just come pouring out?
    And without the writing where would they go?
    You are a great writer. I don't know if I have mentioned it in awhile.
    The proof is in the pudding because I keep on reading.