Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Watch Where You're Headed

I am full of anger and resentment and sadness and I'd planned to vent a lot of that here tonight but then I had a change of heart. Make no mistake, I still have all of those feelings right up to my brim but three things happened to me, small things, that made me feel good so I decided to use this space for those instead. Just call me Miss Mary Sunshine.

This morning, as sometimes happens, I ran into some friends and their dogs on my way to work. Their newer dog, a young buck, is...a handful. They're having trouble getting him to feel secure and calm enough to handle all the stimulation of the city. I luuuurve him, though. I love all the troublemakers. I desperately want to love on him so I want him to get all shaped up so he's allowed to interact with the general public. Lately when we all meet up they let me act as a test subject for whatever training lesson they're working on. This morning he was tied up to the fence and we waited for him to calm down before I was allowed to approach. I approached slowly so I could move out of his reach if his behavior ramped up before he could jump so we could avoid all unwanted behavior. He sniffed my hand and we backed and forthed maybe once before I could go right in to him and give him all over body scritches with no bad behavior and we could all love on him. Oh and love we did. The dog didn't know what to think. His ears went down in that confused but pleased way dogs have and he turned so I could get to a haunch then he gave me the full on lean. Almost tipped me right over and I loved it.

Audio Girl and I sit back to back in a very small office. We often start talking to the other person and get no response at all or begin responding to something being said only to find out it's being said to a third party who is on the phone. Headsets = useful but confusing. Today, out of nowhere, she piped up, "I've revised my view on heating things in plastic." Months ago, maybe as much as a year, my mother sent me an extremely alarmist e-mail to NEVER EVER EVER heat anything in a plastic container or I would keel over immediately from a very fast acting CANCER!!!! In cases like that I usually go in the opposite direction because I can't handle having all that emotion flung at me. This time I also asked Audio Girl for her opinion since she keeps up on stuff like this. At the time she didn't think it was so serious but now, a long while later, she'd kept it in her mind, she'd read things here and there and when she had a rethink she just shared it with me because she remembered and she wanted to keep me current. It made me feel heard in a really nice way.

On the way home from our evening walk Em and I intersected with a mother walk-running to keep up with her 4-5 year old daughter who was riding a 2 wheeler with training wheels well but with a high level of required supervision. They were also having a conversation:

Mother: We will get another rottweiler but there will never be another Ja.

Me: That is so sad. Very true but so sad.

M: (smiles at me apologetically)

Daughter: (unintelligible)

M: Ja is gone. Do you understand that? He's never coming back.

D: Will we call the new dog Ja?

M: No, we'll think of a new name.

D: What name?

M: I don't know, we'll have to see when we get the dog.

And right then, the mother looked ahead to check the field and the daughter was looking up at her to hear her response and her mother and I realized just a moment too late that she was headed straight for the fence.

In that moment it was hysterically funny. John Ritter would have been proud of this girl. She hit nearly head on, tipped the bike over and flopped like a fish with her bicycle to the cement.

The minute she hit the ground and started to wail it was not funny at all, not even a little. She wasn't hurt, not even a seriously skinned knee I don't think. She was rattled though and, if her furiously stomping feet were any indication she was mad, mad, mad as a hornet.

Despite the tragic ending the whole exchange warmed me up. I can't wait to meet the new (but absolutely not the same) Ja.

*Photo from this registry for rottweiler rescue if you're interested in getting one for yourself.


  1. I'm very happy these things happened to you, and that you were able to see through the haze of anger, resentment, and sadness to see them. I'm not always so good at recognizing good stuff when I'm worked up about the bad.

    If you want to vent, email me. I'm always here.

    If I were ever to get a dog, it would SO be a Rottie; I've always loved that breed. My neighbors up the street have one, and I've watched them raise him from the cutest little puppy I've ever seen (and, no; I'm not using much hyperbole there, either) to an incredibly handsome, well-mannered adult.

  2. Beautiful dogs. An Ex had Molly. She wasn't a dog of a very big brain but she had the largest heart.
    They are beautiful.
    I love how the Universe just defused you... however, whatever is bothering you Let it out!