Thursday, May 15, 2008


It's a good thing that I got all gussied up yesterday and posted those pictures. It is a far better thing that you guys are all "Woot! Lorelei Gilmore! Yippee!" I appreciate that so much.

Even more today.

I always feel like you're really supposed to try your hardest to be honest with doctors. Even if it's embarrassing, do what you can. Am I wrong? Maybe this is why I have so much trouble watching House. So, today at the dermatologist the question was, "What are you here for today?" and I answered, "I'm here for her to look at the spot on my lip where I've been using A1dera, to check in on the scar on my forehead and to just check the spots on my back where she removed moles since they're hard for me to see." Then, well then chickadees, I took it a step further.

The pretty young doc came in and she determined that I'd be best off with a punch biopsy of the lip (sad clown, but necessary and expected) and saw three more spots on my back that she wanted to take off when I was ready (the hell?). I am of the opinion that you're best off to just take the big hit early rather than eke it all out so I opted for "Now! Right now!" and then I remembered something. Stop reading now if you can't take a little Salacious with your lunch. Right at the top edge of my right nipple is a small spot (mole? bump? alien probe?) with a couple of different colors in it and it never grows or changes but it's kind of ugly so I took that giant step further and said, "Is this anything?"

She's so delightfully light about everything. She looked carefully and said, "Oh, that's just a wart." A wart?! On my nipple!?! Auuuuuugh! "We can freeze it off but, I gotta warn you, it hurts." I'm sorry, the point at which you tell me I have a wart on my nipple is the point at which I want it off as fast as possible even if it takes a team of archaeologists and a script by Michael Motherfucking Cricton!

To sum up, yesterday: pretty pink dress, hot hot boots, feeling like a million bucks that Josh Jackson just tucked in his pocket. Today: Three shaved mole boo boos to go with my other three scars, a stitch in my lip (pictured) to go with the scar on my forehead and a frozen boob wart (no, I'm not going to post a picture of it, not even if you beg, I'm serious).

Like the title says, Sexay.


  1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I see beauty.

  2. Anonymous5:22 PM

    OOh. Well, you've been through the ringer! I agree with Mrs. G, stitches or no, you're courageous AND beautiful. And now, missing little tiny bits...

    I should mention that I have cracked my forehead open TWICE, have scars to show for it and seem to have revisited adolescence and the odd monster zit, so whatEVER is the theme for me.

  3. I am glad you are taking care of your health, but people are going to start believing you belong to a fight club. I say, let 'em wonder!

    And, man. That freezing. On the nip area. Had to hurt.

  4. I had to have a nipple biopsy once. It was the least fun thing ever.

    I hope you're feeling lovely again soon! :)

  5. Jesus Gypsy! Man, that must have been awful!

    Getting my stitch out tomorrow and none too soon. My imagination is working overtime and I think I can feel the thread growing into my skin.

    Seester, the first rule of Fight Club is bring a freaking ice pack and some V1cod1n!