My Kind of Gardening

Do you love the people that your people love? It's tough when your friends marry people that you aren't sure about or don't click with or want to drown in a puddle of their own spit. It's awesome when they marry someone that you love so much you wish your friend had found them sooner so you could have spent more time with them. On occasion I have even lost the friend and kept the spouse. That's dicey, even I'll admit, but you love who you love, right?

Turns out the same things happen with blogs. I find that there are some non-blogging spouses out there that I wish I knew more about. Julie Rummel-Hudson is one of them and Krissy Scalzi is another. The other day John posted a snippet of a political conversation with his lovely wife, Krissy, and, folks, I think I have my new catch phrase. Go over here and read the back story so you know what I mean when I say, "Mulch, and start over!"

Are You Hearing This?

Lately I've heard a lot of people say things to the tune of, "It's so obvious. We're going to need to start conserving. People are going to realize and then hybrids will become more popular and we'll get the research we need done on alternative fuels."

This word "obvious" I don't think it means what you think it means.

I was thinking today how a fuel shortage should mean that air and train travel should be more accessible and affordable to help people get around. Logically shouldn't we be encouraged to use public transportation? That's not how it works, though, I guess.

If you think that the country at large is all of a sudden going to get a clue then please let me direct you to a post by Aaryn about something she found in the grocery store parking lot.

Well Rats!

If I were a Twitter person I'd have Twittered this but since I'm not I give it to you here.

Due to circumstances just barely within my control the dog got a longer walk for her last one tonight. We headed down an elegant residential block with a lot of foliage that Em was giving the long once over and were about halfway to the middling seedy avenue that would take us home when RATS! Two RATS! running straight at us!!!!! Intellectually even in the moment I knew they were heading toward the shelter of trees or flowers near us and not actually at us. I knew that there was no reason on earth they would want to get any closer to us, they were trying to flee us but it sure felt like they were headed right over to nibble us from the toenails up. And I was wearing shorts!

I yanked the dog, yelled at her to come and ran all the way back to the previous avenue at full tilt boogie in my flapping sandals and jangling key lanyard with my blissfully ignorant dog. She's not tempted to chase small animals much. So much the better on a night like this.

I am not petrified or phobic of rats. I don't get utterly freaked if I see them in pictures or a movie or something but they aren't my favorite. I lived in Chinatown for the love of Pete, we had rats the size of my freaking head! I worked at the River Cafe, the owner bought special dogs to keep the rats at bay! I am not unfamiliar with the phenomenon of large populations of humans being cleaned up after by large populations of rodentia. I don't like to dwell on the thought of their little claws and ropy tails and long teeth and Paul Lynde voices, either, though. So, man that was icky! On the other hand I needed a little adrenaline bump tonight, I've been Roombaing around bumping into walls without making progress and a bit of a laugh at myself helped.

I think.

Piece by Piece

I put up a few more of my Mermaid Parade Pics if you're interested. I made it up to just before we stepped onto the boardwalk and started actually parading. I'm thinking one more session of editing and I'll be all through.

I loved these Day of the Dead Ladies.

Bait and Switch

I used to have this boyfriend who I saw a lot of in the afternoons. I'd work for half a day, go see him then head back to work for a few hours.

You know what I mean by "see" right?

Those were great afternoons, real moments of sunshine that we engineered specifically to be outside of reality. Not for everyone I suppose but kind of perfect for someone like me. It wasn't, as it turned out, all about sex but we were both pretty passionate. I had timing back then. I probably still do I just haven't put it to the test lately. This one time he was kneeling at the stereo changing CDs and talking freaking incessantly about some finer point of music about which I was simply not interested. I was trying to derail the lecture and he was trying to ignore me. I will not be ignored. So when he turned I faded back just a little. He leaned, I sat on my heels, he growled and I grinned. I made the boy crawl across the carpet after me and he liked it. If you met him I can pretty much guarantee that it'd be one of the top three stories he'd tell you about me.

Anyway, there was something I always thought was weird about us. The more I think about it, though, I bet it's not that unusual.

I'd show up and he'd open the door and we'd be all over each other right away. I'd have picked up his newspaper off the door mat and have my backpack on and he would frame my face with his hands and kiss me until I couldn't even remember to keep my hands curled around the newsprint. I would, however, be able to keep a firm and commanding grip on the front of his shirt or his hair or whatever I'd managed to capture in that moment before I got in the door. This could go on for a few minutes and cause a certain amount of scorching to the hallway's paint. Then there'd be a break, a chaste kiss on the lips, a breathy "hi" and wham on to the practical. "Come on in, do you want something to drink?" "Yes, juice please and I have to pee like a racehorse. Oh and check my bag I brought you that book I was talking about." "OK, I'm on it. I'm making sandwiches too." We'd take care of all the business then. Later on it'd be hot again and was fabulous and fun and inescapable in a great way but the switch was uncanny to me.

Other people do stuff like that, right? Don't humor me but don't lie either, polling one's blog audience is scientific, isn't it?

Comeuppance

That's a great word isn't it?

I know it's not terribly charitable of me but I kind of like seeing people get their comeuppance. Perhaps I shouldn't share these stories but, hey, it's one of the funnier things I've heard this week so I want to share and that's good enough for me.

There's a lady down the street who doesn't like animals. She's mean to any dog owner walking in front of her house. Now, it is absolutely within her rights and understandable that she wouldn't want people to leave dog waste in front of her home but she doesn't have to be a bitch about it. I hustle Miss Emily past this house because, though I clean up after my dog, I like to reduce the amount of petty motherfucking bitching I'm subjected to on any given day.

Anyway, this woman is also an avid gardener. She's got pots and beds and troughs. She has bushes and bulbs and trees. She has protected them with brick edging and chicken wire from the evils of the canine race, too. It's a veritable fortress of greenitude. I've never seen her out there enjoying it, though. The only time I see her out there is when she's doing double duty watering and yelling at passersby.

So last night I walked by and before I could see her through the foliage I heard her yelling, "Get out of there! Get out! Go on!" I could see that there was no one on the sidewalk and she couldn't possibly see me yet if I couldn't see her so I knew she couldn't be screaming at me but it still made me kind of nervous. As we came abreast of her yard I could see that the gardener and someone else were in the front window and she was berating a stray kitten in the front yard. The kitten, who looks a lot like me own maniacal lovebugs, was sitting in front of a flower pot covered bench staring up with extreme focus. The woman continued to yell, "I don't want you back there! I know why you want to go there!" The cat was plotting a move over a huge flower pot and into a flower bed for some natural relief. "You want to make it your potty and I don't want it!"

Anyone who has ever known a cat knows that all you have to do to get a cat to stop doing something is to tell them that you don't want it. I wished her luck, lots and lots of luck. Right after I stopped laughing until I pulled something.

Fishy Fucking Friday

Just riffing on the theme.

If I don't pay my health insurance today I will not have health insurance and that will be bad. I need an assistant to remind me of this stuff.

Going to class, going to see Get Smart, going to get my bangs trimmed, going to order groceries, going to write, going to nap on the train.

What about you?

Intimate Public Moment

I had grand plans for the organized and creatively cool fashion in which I would upload my photos from the Coney Island Mermaid Parade/Alita's 7th Birthday Extravaganza. It involved editing all of them first, then uploading them in small batches of similar content with commentary linking them all together.

I edited about 20 the other night and another 50 tonight and my computer desktop looks like it's covered in confetti and my eyes are crossing and I might need to check my health insurance to make sure it covers carpal tunnel. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it and I came, finally, to a conclusion: It doesn't have to have that! So I uploaded the first 70ish photos to my photostream and made them into a convenient set (I'll put the rest in the set as they get edited) and added in a lot of comments and it took me all night long.

I'm trying very hard to feel guilty about not doing anything else tonight but it's what I really wanted to do so it's not working.

And that's OK with me.

Queenly Hot

The Fug Girls were giving Queen Latifah a pat on her beautiful back today (how ungodly gorgeous is that dress, huh?) and I thought to myself, "I want to jump on that bandwagon!" I have loved her since Living Out Loud and I continue to be thoroughly impressed with her at every turn. She can sing anything you put in front of her, she acts, she gives, she speaks, she raps and she has a confidence and grace about her when doing all of those things that I can only hope to match on my very best days. If you haven't checked out all the things she is I urge you to start at once with that movie I mentioned and let your love expand from there.

Where Have You Been All My....Day

Would you look at that, I have a blog! I think I forgot about that today. I have great ideas, many things I will write about very soon, but...apparently not today. I blame it on the A1eve, and my boss being in the office, and global warming. How about a brain teaser/psychological evaluation to keep us going until then?

On July 5th I'm performing a play in Marblehead, MA (please come! send your friends! e-mail me for details, isabeau6 at hotmail dot com). It is a play that I, in fact, wrote. Why do you think I'm having so much trouble saying the words that I have written and not going completely off the rails?

Quote of the day on this subject from AudioGirl: "I think you're doing yourself a disservice. What you wrote is really good."

She's not wrong on either count.

10 Things We Learned About the Mermaid Parade

Thought it'd be good to have these somewhere I could look them up easily when we start getting ready for next year.

1. Sunscreen, sunscreen and more sunscreen, especially on the shoulders

2. Incorporate a parasol for more sun protection

3. Have your whole party arrive by 11am to check in and get their hands stamped

4. If you want to swim, swim between 11 and 1:30 when you should be getting back to the staging area

5. Bring water to drink, cold water and lots of it

6. Bring a cooler

7. If you have to carry things (civilian clothes, water, bribes for the judges [which are encouraged]) incorporate the carrying device into your ensemble - decorate a cooler and make sure it has wheels, that sort of thing

8. Bring spritzing devices to cool yourself off - water gun, spray bottle

9. MORE! More glitter, more garland, more sparkles, more fabric, more people in your group, more of everything you think you want

10. It's way better to be in the parade than to be in the swarming crowd outside, we had a fabulous time and I can't wait to do it again!

Sounds Like Something You Say When You're On Fire. Guacamole!

Here's a few more before I begin my vidfest.

M.
Sars
Chicky Chicky Baby
Susie Bright

The Same Tune

I hope Carlin would be pleased by all the people exercising their right to free speech in the place for their internet stuff to point people towards the way he exercised his. As I strolled through the internet this morning I went through streaks of up to 5 blogs in row who had posted a tribute to him and there are some great ones. It's also cool to see which videos everyone chooses. Tonight I plan to have a Carlin online vidfest and today I'm playing all the Carlin on my iPod and pondering what to buy next.

I thought you might like a heads up about the folk from blogroll who are thinking at least 7 dirty words right now.

ALR Design/Noah
Chili
Blue
Rich
Joe Banks
Rob
O'Mama
Scalzi


I suspect there will be more.

"Here's something you never hear a guy say: 'Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police!'"
George Carlin - Complaints & Grievances

Fuckin' Meow

ChemE reminds me that I should actually have recommended this Carlin bit about cats. She's the one who introduced me to him, too, so I thought I'd pass this along.

Image source.

The World a Sadder Place Today

George Carlin was a large part of the soundtrack of my childhood. He is, or was, to my mind, the epitome of smart-funny and I learned more than I can quantify from him. I'm still learning. Nothing I can say will be as eloquent as he so go pick out a video here (I especially like the Ten Commandments) and mourn the right way, with laughter.

George Carlin (1937-2008)


Photo Source: Google Images

TILT! Like Pinball

Here is a list of all the food that I ate this weekend that I refuse to put in the Weight Watchers Points calculator because, frankly, I don't want to know if it can count that high.

Mint chocolate chunk ice cream as lunch
Half a fillet of salmon baked with maple syrup & soy sauce
Oreo thin crisps
Chocolate cake batter
Hot dog on double fiber bread with relish
Chocolate cake
Repeat salmon
Cheerios
Corn dog
Ginger Ale
Chocolate cake
Pop rocks
Beer
Coconut shrimp
Shumai
Shrimp tempura & cucumber maki roll
Edamame
Chocolate mousse cake
Chocolate cake
Cheerios
Pineapple
Hummus on tortilla
Carrots
Cucumbers
Blue Cheese dressing
Cheddar cheese
Smoked gouda
Swiss cheese
Chocolate & Vanilla cake (4 layers total) with vanilla frosting between layers and chocolate on the outside, decorated with milk chocolate chips
Vodka tonic x2
10 french fries
bite of meatloaf x2
Arugula, beet, white bean & bleu cheese salad with dressing

Delicious, every bite.

Quote of the Day Old Dude Style

2 old guys are sitting on a bench in the courtyard talking.

"When I was in school, sure we had stabbings (beat) but not so much."

It's all in your perspective y'all.

I Am Out of Order

I'm pooped, my dogs are tired (and so are my feet), I'm slightly sunburned, I'm not entirely clean of glitter despite a vigorous water-blasting and I had a great time. I took almost 350 pictures and the task of organizing them to show is pretty daunting but I couldn't wait to share with you guys so here are just a few, straight out of the camera and completely out of order versions so you can get a taste of how much fun we had.

Above is the final version of my hat (all pictures of me kindly taken by Carmencita). Note the state of my nose.

Below is the birthday girl lounging in her chariot.
Ah, the lovely Carmencita trying not to giggle so she won't accidentally inhale and choke on the mouthful of Pop Rocks that are tickling her taste buds. Congratulations on the 7th anniversary of keeping the kid alive, upright and way too smart for her own good, my friend!
Here she is at Ruby's showing off her crown, her super cool pirate tattoo and her rambunctious attitude.
First cake of the day (but not the last!).
It's a shame the child is camera shy and unschooled in how to pose isn't it? Frankly it's a good thing she has some modeling skills because she was photographed by every single passing photographer. I think we'll be seeing her in the local media this week. If you happen to run across any images of her will you please give me a heads up?
We had fun and we took public transportation all the way back to the Carmencita abode like this, too. I'm not sure that Bay Ridge was ready for us.
My pirate tattoo...and my moles.

Mrs. G mentioned that she wished she could have come with us today. One of the things we learned this year that we need for next year is more people so I urge everyone to buy some body paint and check their calendars. I've got room for 2 on my couch, just be warned that I may not be able to clean all the glitter out of it before you get here, that stuff is stubborn!

P.S. Chili, I gave the kid all the dragonfly tattoos but I'll get you some more.

Amusement, Like the Park

Julia is wondering what exactly the Mermaid Parade is about since she feels the accounts of young girls' birthday parties and her images of half naked women are conflicting. Let's call it something typical New York, there's something for everyone. I've never been so I can't speak exactly but my understanding is that it's a place where there are half naked folks and fully dressed folks and those folks are of all ages. Here is what happens when you search Flickr for "Mermaid Parade"* and here is the FAQ from the group that runs the parade and here is what BaldSug found on Flickr* and I'll give you a first hand account when I get back. I've decided that, with all I have to carry I'll just wear the skirt to the parade. My neighbors are starting to think I fit in around here, got to nip that in the bud.

*I urge you strongly to check all those photos out, there's some fabulous stuff in there and I hope to have more to add to it after today.

Well Since You Asked

O'Mama posted a curious comment just as I was uploading these. I am happy to oblige.

I fashioned crowns for the girls. Perhaps they will want ribbon spirals to hang from them but we'll deal with that tomorrow.
I tested out the temp tattoos. There are 36 various "young girl" tattoos of which this is one. The "big girl" tattoos I got for me and Carmencita are one each so I didn't test. (Dear Temporary Tattoo Conglomerate, Better tattoos for young girls, please. Love, Kizz)
I crafted costume pieces. This is perhaps why I should never buy one of those fancy Oprah-recommended Wacoal bras. I think I'm going to have to transport this in its own ziploc bag. I may toss a little extra glitter in the bag for good measure, sort of like Shake 'N' Bake for your costumery.
Here's just a hint of what's to come. I wasn't teasing on purpose I was just struggling with aiming, clicking and not having the camera or my arms hiding significant parts of the costume.
There you go! Although my arm is hiding the mid-line dangly bits I worked on so painstakingly. Couldn't get a better focus but this is just pre-show. I'll get other human beings to take photos tomorrow. This will do for now. I'm going for a sort of skirt of the sea and I'm kind of swimming out of it. I chose the hat for its swim cap qualities and then glitter...um...'cause it's a seven year old's birthday party and glitter is cool.
Glamor is all well and good but I'm not hiking the boardwalk while pulling a little wagon full of little mermaids in anything but my most comfortable shoes. They're blue, silver and sparkly so I say they perfectly complete the outfit.
My entire house and my entire body looks like this. On some level I don't mind. On the level that's going to be cleaning up glittery cat puke I'm...let's call it frustrated. Glitter is not a corallable medium.
There's gonna be "whole lot of hoot, leeetle bit of nanny!"

I can't wait.

Freakin' Floral Friday For Fuck's Sake!

Still Life
Originally uploaded by kizzzbeth.

I don't have any idea what my Friday is going to turn out like. I'm going to class, I have to bake cakes for Alita's birthday tomorrow, I have to figure out what I'm wearing to the Mermaid Parade tomorrow and I have to get some groceries. I might be going out for ice cream with the ex-boss, I haven't seen Pony Express in a couple of days and Gar is supposedly back in town so anything can happen. I'd just like it to happen seamlessly, please.

That Time Again

This month has been quite productive. Well, I've perceived it that way. Now let's go through the list to see if my feeling holds true.

As always new(ish) information is in italics.

1. Get regular vocal coaching (see also #14) [I got a phone number for a guy. Need to call it.]
2. Record 2 more tracks for CD (Sometime in 2020 you'll all be getting the finished product for Christmas.)
3. Night Before Christmas for fam (make a book? buy them? convince this guy to illustrate a version and help him publish it?)
4. Continue Floor Barre classes - IN PROGRESS as always.
5. Add another hour per week of exercise (3 sessions of 20 minutes each per week) - I stopped doing this. Having trouble getting back to it.
6. Submit Chekhov or Speed Dating play to 20 places - Still submitted to one place. I also wrote a screenplay for an actor-director team so I'm counting that as a submission of sorts, too. So 2 down, 18 to go. Just got a lead on a place to submit a few things.
7. Book Shakespeare 10 places
8. Go on a date - Should I enter profile into this?
9. New Year at the steam pipes
10. 2 field trips with Alita We've been to the Botanical Gardens and out to lunch and we're about to go to the Mermaid Parade for her birthday (so. old.). I think we'll do more before year's end but I'm counting this DONE.
11. Post-Thanksgiving Open House
12. Find director for Chekhov - I'm changing this to find a director for the Speed Dating play, which is DONE and is working out wonderfully.
13. Reading of Chekhov - In accordance with #12 I'm changing this to a second run of the Speed Dating play in NYC. We've got a director, we're doing it in MA so this might not be too difficult. More of a reach than changing this to performing it in MA.
14. Find new vocal coach
15. Sing live
16. Hang pictures
18. Perform at Boerum Hill nursing home sing along
19. Lobsterbake (June) - DONE
20. Complete play for Women's Night (Feb) - DONE
21. Complete non verbal piece for Women's Night (Feb) - DONE
22. Complete admin work for Women's Night (Feb) - DONE
23. Perform Women's Night (Feb 15 & 16) - DONE
24. Polish up 3 short stories - Working on a new short story and recovering from computer fright.
25. 20 short story submissions - I ask again, where do I do this? Or really, where do I find a list of places to which I should submit?
26. Go to Met Museum
27. See South Pacific - DONE
28. See Farnsworth Invention - Totally missed this.
29. 3 activist actions that do not include the use of form e-mail (suggestions welcome) - saving Lorry and donating to Jen Lemen's friend. 2 down, 1 to go. I may make a political contribution.
30. See an opera
31. Go to MoMA
32. Go to Frick - DONE in Jan when ChemE came to visit.
33. Fix back-up hard drive
34. Install Final Draft (script writing software)
35. Learn how to use Final Draft
36. Continue Weight Watchers eating plan - At 128 today but that's not too bad.
37. Meet goal weight of 125 - DONE!!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCKING DONE!!!!!!!!!
38. Check in on this list once per month - This makes more posts about 108 in 2008 than there were posts about 107 in 2007.
39. Re-do work files - Turns out I file once a year. I filed a lot today and am nearly caught up.
40. Keep work files current - See above re: only filing once a year.
41. Clean out closets
42. Set up home filing system
43. Gyn appointment
44. Dentist appointment
45. Buy scanner
46. Scan family photos
47. Auntie Blanche's birthday (98 on August 23)
48. Trip to beach
49. Post photos to Flickr - Calling this DONE, it's a habit and something I love.
50. Invest 1/2 savings
51. See accountant in person - DONE, now I just need to pay the poor woman.
52. Re-work investments to maximize return
53. Sort out IRA contribution
54. NaBloPoMo (Nov)
55. Go to Brooklyn Museum
56. Update address book - I've been doing a little work on this here and there, not too much, though, don't want to overtax my delicate system (snort!).
57. Make Christmas cards
58. Take more photos (practice makes perfect after all) - Totally happening all the time, hundreds of photos at a clip. DONE
59. Learn more about how I'm taking those photos (suggestions welcome) - Audio Girl found me a one day class at ICP that will teach me all about my camera. It's a little under $300 but I think it'll be worth it. Maybe in August or Sept.
60. Read 4 classic/good-for-me books (perhaps from this list Chrome mentioned) - Orlando done and quite enjoyed even. Add that to Sin & Syntax and you've got 2 down, 2 to go.
61. Plan 40th birthday celebration for Jan 2009 (trip? party? both? both, right?) - Yes to both. Having trouble finding a venue. Do I throw a party not on my actual birthday weekend in order to get the venue I know or do I look for a new venue for my birthday weekend.
62. Research health insurance providers - Gah, have done a little of this.
63. Change health insurance providers if appropriate
64. Bring lunch 3 days/week - Having trouble with this lately but still ahead of the curve. I've been busy on weekends so haven't been cooking which is the trouble. Cooking takes a looooong time for me.
65. Get photos framed
66. Get contact lenses
67. Make out will
68. Inquire about grave plot
69. Renew passport
70. Submit for print audition (actors access?)
71. Submit for commercial audition
72. Write Aunt Rena once/month - Still going well.
73. Write Auntie Blanche once/month - Still going well and I've seen her and will see her again soon.
74. Cook once/week (doing this is integral to being able to do #64) - Need to get back on the wagon. Have groceries, should be able to do it.
75. Go to Cyclones game (Kath has said that I can tag along on one of their trips this summer)
76. Take all vacation days - I took one day just to write and another to write and to recuperate from a trip. So, 14 more to go!
77. Make new cookbook pages (this may morph into making another homemade Christmas gift)
78. God's Love for Thanksgiving
79. Solve electric meter problem
80. Write on something significant (short story, play, etc.) 15 minutes/day, 5 days per week - I think I'm averaging this but I'm not writing a small amount consistently, I'm writing a larger amount with more space in between.
81. Send Christmas thank you notes - Must finish this.
82. Vocal warm-up 5 days/week
83. Physical warm-up 5 days/week
84. Pay extra mortgage payment
85. Get facial
86. Record financial outgoings faithfully (see #96 re: Quicken)
87. Get Elvis's ultrasound (May) - DONE! and an X-ray and new meds and Jesus Lord he's expensive.
88. Complete at least half of the items on this list (I'm so meta) - Looking good but still a close race.
89. Actually hang up my Christmas wreath properly
90. Change over to those swirly energy saver light bulbs - I've installed a grand total of 1. But it's one more than before.
91. Host Supper Club
92. Host Brunch
93. Get lip biopsied - DONE and yet still inconclusive.
94. Wear sunscreen every day - Habit. DONE
95. 30 minutes per week home improvement (above and beyond my definition of maintenance cleaning) - Trying, weakly.
96. Learn how to set up a new "me" in Quicken (Any Quicken experts out there? I took a look at it last night and I don't know if I know how to do it right. And I want to know how to record cash purchases, too.)
97. Go to one participatory music event for the holidays
98. Finish sending out 2007 Holiday cards (I'm 2/3 done!) - This just ain't getting done.
99. Re-organize kitchen cabinets
100. Apply creams/lotions/oils/ungents to scar daily - Doing it.
101. Get new digital camera - DONE
102. Send birthday cards (preferably before the birthday) - Doing OK.
103. Travel once outside of "event" trips (birthdays, Christmas, lobsterbake etc.) - DONE, DC Day trip.
104. Floss thrice weekly - Perhaps I should have said just once...for the year.
105. Move Music and Photos to desktop Mac - I moved the photos (three times! oops), need to learn how to do the music just once.
106. Leap more often (as opposed to plan, plot, think, prepare ex. I just decided to produce an evening of work by my female friends and the next day I sent out an e-mail.) - This is so impossible to quantify. It feels like I'm getting better, though.
107. Make at least 1 of the books in #60 a non-fiction (maybe the Omnivore's Dilemma, definitely not Fast Food Nation. Probably better if it's not a food book at all. I have enough trouble with food already right now.) - I read Sin & Syntax so this is DONE.
108. Finish this list. DONE!

DONE: 19 (+6 from May. At this rate I might actually complete #88)

In Progress: 29 (+5, which is especially nice considering I changed a few of these to DONE this time around)

Probably It's Just A Quirk

After years of doing this one particular thing on the phone I have recently begun to take a whole lot of guff over it. Seems like every day someone is asking me why I do it and assuming it's a financial thing.

It's not.

OK, here's what I do:

Scene: Me, at my desk, with my silly headset on and the phone rings.

Me: Big Fancy Dude's Office!

Whoever: Is this Kizz?/Who is this?

Me: Who's calling?

Whoever: (tentatively) It's [fill in the blank]

Me: Hi, this is Kizz, how can I help?

Whoever: Are you screening? Are you hiding from collection agencies?

My theory here is that if you are the incoming caller then you are, in essence, entering the space of the call receiver therefore it's your responsibility to identify yourself. I know that in some offices it's customary for the person who answers to identify both the office and the speaker but I work in an office where I'm a gatekeeper. I'm not in the business of customer service, I'm in the business of making my bosses' lives more comfortable and simple. My last job was with a guy who was pretty famous, made the Fortune 400 in the top 50, was accused of fixing elections and the like. He had three assistants and I was the low one on the totem pole so a big part of my job was fielding unsolicited calls and mail. Giving people my name was actually a dangerous proposition and I had to call in security on a few occasions so the fewer pieces of personal information the masses had about me the better.

That job certainly strengthened my theory but I had it before I showed up there. I think that's what I was taught when I was taught phone manners as a kid originally. I was being trained as an incoming caller and told it was a requirement of etiquette that I identify myself and I agree. I follow those rules most of the time even now, over 30 years later. Unless I'm calling a big company switchboard who doesn't give a damn who I am I identify myself first and when people call me I require them to identify themselves first. When someone dials a wrong number I don't answer "What number did I call?" either. In the words of a lovely character played by a phenomenal lady, "Consult your directory!"

What do you think? Am I too picky? Too demanding in an age of lowered standards? Quirkalicious? Or am I just your type of gal?

Stepping Out

Noah blogged about a new Google Map tool that acts like a pedometer...sort of. I'm having a lot of fun tracing my walking routes and seeing how much ground I'm covering. Did you know that it's about 2 miles from Queen Bee's house to my mom's?

Drawbacks are:
- how incredibly time consuming it is to get to your chosen part of the country
- if you're walking over something grassy, like a park, you can't go along the paths, really, it just makes a line as the crow flies

Fun stuff:
- Did you know I walk about 3 miles a day just to and from the subway?
- You can erase just the last leg so if you make a mistake you don't have to start over from scratch

Go try it out, see how long your driveway is...or something.

Michael Flatley

I love my new flat iron. Well, I did love it until today I couldn't remember if I'd turned it off or unplugged it and started to panic. In the end, since all we worker bees are working today, I had to call the dogwalker and ask her to go check to see if I was burning my animals to a crisp. She obliged but seemed a bit confused/exasperated by the request. I don't blame her, I'm not too pleased with myself either. But look how great it works on my hair! Just like I came straight (heh) from the hair dresser!

In other news, I dreamt this morning that I was a resident of Casa Chawazek. Not sure where that came from but we were having fuse issues with the air conditioner and the cat had caught a garter snake and kept threatening to bring it into my bed.

Also, people are stupid, but you knew that.

And, in conclusion, I am a person so by the transitive property...yeah. What's worse than forgetting your camera? Remembering your camera and forgetting the memory card. Yes, yes I did that. I am genius personified.

But damn, doesn't my hair look straight?

A Little Help?

I know you guys are all super busy and have plenty of your own things to deal with but if someone could find it in their power to remind me to cancel my Weight Watchers account next month, on or about the 12th, I'd be truly grateful.

Yeah, I forgot. Another month of membership that I thought I didn't still need. Eh, it'll give me a boost while I try to work off the 62 metric delicious tons of butter and oil wrapped around seafood that I ate last weekend.

10 Things I Did This Weekend

1. Did my first portrait photography session from behind the camera. (As of today that's only a portion of the session. I'm still working on tweaking the rest of the almost 300 shots. That set will be updated frequently in the next few days.)

2. Took a ton of photos of a family party. (Those will come after I'm done uploading the portrait session.)

3. Had a great progressive dinner party all along US Route 1 with Auntie Blanche, MamaKizz and Queen Bee.

4. Listened to my Auntie Blanche play the piano. At 97 she's better at that than most of will ever be.

5. Got lost in Maine...twice. Oopsie daisy.

6. Bought new shoes, forks, and a whole lot of gas. OK, not that much gas really, no one can afford very much gas of late.

7. Formed a pretty poor opinion of Megabus.

8. While lying on the couch trying not to yak after 2 days of high dairy, high fat content delicious food composed a stern letter in my head to Weight Watchers about how their program had compromised my iron stomach.

9. Shared Father's Day lunch with the Chili clan.

10. Found a cool new bar in an unlikely place.

And so much more.

More Treats, Please

Kath & Alex helped their old man, Hula, off this mortal coil today.

More treats for everyone.

And a whole lot of love for K&A, after losing Edwyn only four months ago this is a big blow.

Potentiality

I should know by now that disappointment will follow when I don’t bring my camera with me on even the smallest trip. Some days I do bring the camera and I see nothing and feel stupid for lugging it all over creation but leaving it behind is a surefire recipe for missing some opportunity. (See: rescued kitten)

This weekend I took over 500 pictures (watch Flickr for the next week if you’re interested, there’s a lot to share.) and I downloaded them to the desktop last night so I still hadn’t tossed the memory card back in the camera and I was just walking the dog and we might not even go that far since she’s still exhausted from a weekend of playing with young Bob so what did it matter, right?

We made it to the park and this morning that was the site of a school field day. Four bright yellow buses had trucked in enough kids to cover the lower (non)playing field. It’s not surprising to see it used that way, our park is used for high school gym classes and birthday parties and hospital health fairs and dog costume contests and a thousand other things. I was surprised that they were busing kids there, though. If you’ve already got them on a bus why not take them to Prospect Park or some other enormous and exciting park? I think containment is an issue but more than that the fact that this school didn’t need a park with amenities, they had imagination and ingenuity and they just wanted to, essentially, take their kids out on the lawn to give them a chance to get their ya yas out.

There was a small group with ropes for double dutch, there was some quiet paperwork being done, a pick up game of football, 3 soccer balls being used by one group that also had a purple Frisbee. It was good clean fun. The best bits, for me, well besides the double dutch, I could have taken pictures of that all day, were the water balloon fight and the sack race.

The water balloon fight was kid-powered. Really polite kid powered. They were filling balloons at the dog fountain and when we walked by they asked if Em needed a drink. No, she’s afraid of running water, thanks though. The great part about this was to watch the whole animal instinct part of it. The balloon-wielders were mostly boys and there was a huge group of girls lying around on blankets talking and the boys approached and basically announced their intentions. It was very red coats lining up to shoot the Patriots. Silly red coats. The girls politely returned that they weren’t playing and please don’t throw the balloons. Yeah, right. The first balloon flew in a glorious full-spraying arc and every girl was up like a jack in the box but they ran as a group retaining their status as one concentrated target. I almost yelled out at them to scatter. They did figure it out eventually but not before I’d gotten my good laugh out of it.

The sack race was part of the faculty organized activities. There was a teacher gathering everyone in a no-nonsense, inevitable way that reminded me of Carla Turk. “I need three people for the sack race!” she projected, striding toward some observers. She didn’t need to say it twice. I’ve only seen sack races where you get in the sack and try not to break your nose before you get to the finish line. This one was a relay. You lined up 25 yards away from someone else, got in your sack, tried not to break your nose, got out of the sack and handed it off so your partner could get in, protect his or her nose and get back to where you started. It didn’t take 2 whole minutes to complete but it had kids and teachers competing together, laughter, one fall, no broken noses and Carla Turk screaming, “[insert name] cheated! You’re cheating!” while laughing so hard I thought she was going to hurt herself. The cheater kept hopping but let go of his sack about three quarters of the way through and kind of scooted it to the line for the switch. His pair didn’t win so I think the cheating was irrelevant, also fascinating to watch. I kind of think his way was harder. A teacher almost won but she caught her sunglasses about half way through as they fell off her shirt where she’d hung them and she was so proud of herself that she slowed down and someone scooted right past her at the end. I couldn’t even pretend to be walking by slowly. I stopped and stared and laughed and kicked my own ass for not having a camera to catch every step of it. I have three working cameras, I couldn’t have grabbed just one. (Add this to the short list of good enough reasons to get an iPhone. I had my phone!)

There are a lot of good reasons to send teenagers to a remote farm and assign them excruciating manual labor until they get all their hormone-fueled foolishness out. God I’d miss their unbridled enthusiasm for whatever, though. The girl who repeatedly threw herself and her huge sneakers into the double dutch fray, the combination of height and distance every sack race participant was reaching out of sheer adrenaline, the gorgeous parabolic patterns of the water balloon prey as they finally dispersed were all so beautiful I wanted to cry because I know they’re not always that happy or having that much fun.

Part of this is fueled by my current reading material, sure, a novel about a school shooting will do that to you but I feel this way all the time. Even when I want to give the stupid boys under my window a good smack upside the head I sort of envy them their ability never to sleep and always to be laughing and talking things out. The pure, raw potential of teenagers is a natural resource we should be protecting the hell out of and, from what I saw today, there’s at least one public school in New York City that’s getting it right. I put up both my thumbs to them and everyone else like them.

I Love A Post-Parade

Last Sunday was the Puerto Rican Day parade and I ended up on the subway while the cheering throngs were heading home. Everywhere I've lived there's been a lively presence on this day and a the Puerto Rican flag is everywhere. I love it when the city gets really into its celebrations. This photo is a little blurry but that's just because everyone was absolutely vibrating with excitement.

I Think We Can

Quote of the day comes from Carmencita: "Well, it's your performance day, you can have whatever dessert you want. You can have two desserts if you want."

So we did. Brownie a la mode and Mud Pie only they didn't have any more Mud Pie so we had to settle for Peanut Butter Cup Pie. It was a sacrifice but we soldiered on. I thought we might not quite finish them but I was wrong.

Dance Dance Baby

Last Saturday I spent my afternoon at a dance theatre performance. Alita (pictured, center just in case you're visiting for the first time, if you've been around even a little you already know which one she is) had her end of semester showcase. Her theatre class was working on machines, using their bodies, projecting with their voices and combining sounds with movements.
Needless to say she was awesome. I'm so glad I got to go. She's quite the ham when given the chance, I had to get her deep into telling me a story and surprise her with a few shutter clicks to get the natural shot below.

That's my girl's true smile, just busting out of her cheeks.

The Dog Would Never Do This

Someone has been eating my crocs. Everyone guesses it's the dog but my principessa would never do such a thing (where never = since she was about 3).

The cats, however, have learned nothing. Yesterday they chewed right through and ruined the strap entirely. If you're a glass half full person at least now I have an excuse to buy a pair in a less obnoxious color.

Frakking Floral Friday: Overgrown

Today's title is a tribute to Battlestar Gallactica, which I love and which, Netflix willing, is winging its way toward me as we speak (Season 3, Disc 1).

Today I am winging (bussing, T-ing, training) my way northward for a weekend of friends, family, photography and...lobster. YUM!

Hope you have a lovely weekend, please tell me all about your plans. I have set up a few photos to post in my absence just in case you're bored and need something to look at.

This is getting to be a habit

I accidentally combined two prompts from San Diego Momma's assignments in this one.

Dear Diary,

Last night the most amazing thing happened to me. I was walking out of the diner after I closed up and a limousine pulled up beside me. I walked a little faster and it followed. Just before I started really freaking out the back window rolled down and GEORGE CLOONEY leaned out. He asked me if a wanted a ride and OF COURSE I did, I mean GEORGE CLOONEY! After that I don’t know what happened. He asked me if I wanted some champagne and next thing I knew he was all over me. He has the best hands. He’s the BEST kisser, which, DUH, I mean GEORGE CLOONEY for cripes sake! Mostly he was a gentleman but after a while it was pretty easy to tell that he liked me, I mean, LIKE liked me, you know? I could feel his…you know, missile, all hard and insistent and everything against my…god, this so embarrassing, my hearth, you know? And I wanted to help him, really I did. Who wouldn’t want to have GEORGE CLOONEY be their first in a limo with champagne and everything? I knew Chris was waiting for me at home, though, I actually kind of wondered why he hadn’t picked me up. Usually he picks me up if I’m working late. I felt guilty, though, I didn’t want to betray him even if it was GEORGE CLOONEY. So I said no.

And then I woke up.

I’m so stupid who’s that loyal in a DREAM.

Love,
Krista

Prom..ted?

Here's another one of San Diego Momma's PrompTuesday assignments. This one was fun and hard and I almost sorta kinda like what I did with it.

I am to write about my first love in only 250 words? Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent half my allotted lifetime of words talking about him, around him, to him, for him, in anger, in joy, in grief and in utter confusion. I could list you a thousand things he’s done to hurt me and two thousand that made me feel so good I fear I’ll never feel that way again. Talk to me on another given day and you can strike those numbers and reverse them.

He’s a fan of the Greeks, especially the philosophers. He fancies himself a Greek God when he’s in a braggartly mood, which is more often a cover for the creeping vines of insecurity like spider veins of reproach across his lightly furred skin.

One late night when we were kids a group of us emulated a bad summer teen movie and scrounged up beer and drove into the woods underneath some power lines to drink it. It was cool but not cold and the mosquitoes, the unofficial state bird, were out in force. He took me for a stroll away from the others to talk about some point of philosophy. His idol, Plato, would have been proud. He wore a baja with the hood up to turn away the bugs and when I screwed up my courage to look at him his beauty in the shadows was like a marble statue in a museum; so much to desire, so close and still I couldn’t touch.

Ode To Somebody Else's Husband

Mr. Chili is awesome. Perhaps you've read Mrs. Chili's birthday post for him and you've wondered if she's just shining us on a bit since she's married to the guy so she has to be nice. She's not. He's super.

His generosity to me is unending in many areas but most especially in the area of tech support.

I AM WRITING THIS FROM MY LAPTOP!!!!!!!

That great wind that swept through your neighborhood last night was my enormous sigh of relief.

Mr. C spent over an hour with me last night talking me through different boot up and repair choices. I don't know if you have any experience interacting with tech support but, for me, the two most important factors are clarity and the ability not to be condescending with said clarity. Mr. C is a master on both counts. He knows just how much technical knowledge I can take and he knows how much technical information I need to know so that I understand what's going on and he provides that information in a simple way with highly specific yet easy to follow instructions. The guy went through at least 4 rebooting and rebuilding options eventually resorting to having me type code into that black screen with the white lettering until the computer repaired itself like Rambo stitching up his own arm.

A great big THANK YOU to Mr. C for all his patience and perseverance. I think he sacrificed his own computer briefly in an effort to mirror exactly what was going on with mine and follow along with me. I hope he was able to put everything to rights.

I wish you all good computer juju and tech support as, well, supportive as that with which I have been blessed.

Image brazenly stolen from Mrs. C's photostream. If you want me to pull it just let me know!

It is Always the 10 Little Things

Feels like time to do a gratitude list. Life has been a slog of late, there's a lot of fear, so let's try very hard for the bare minimum of optimism. I know it's out of character but, hey, a girl can try.

1. The ability to take a mental health day and the strength (bolstered by a well-placed suggestion/insistence from a friend) to make it into a writing day which was awesome.

2. Air conditioning. I know I shouldn't use it and I do use it a whole lot less than most people around these parts but on truly sidewalk-egg-fryingly hot days like we've had all week it is quite the blessing.

3. In sharp contrast to #2, the heat. I like to be hot. I hate to be cold. I have felt such a fool draped in different layers of not quite right clothing to keep me feeling OK wherever I go but the last three or four days that has not been a problem. What to wear? As little as possible.

4. Pacey Witter on Dawson's Creek. "Pacey Witter, friend to women." Friend to women indeed.

5. Joshua Jackson as Pacey Witter on Dawson's Creek. Originally he auditioned for the role of Dawson. What a different show it would have been if he'd landed the role. When the boy puts his mind to it he can take the cheesiest, most ridiculous, contrived piece of exposition and make it work. I'm willing to concede the possibility that he's able to make it work by distracting me with the sparkly eyes and the charming smile. Not really caring about the method, just admiring the result.

6. Little one of a kind diners and the people who run them. Pony Express and I celebrated our working from home status today by hitting the local diner for breakfast before we started the aforementioned working. Everyone should have a place like this. Comfort food and comforting environment in a non-chain situation.

7. One of a kind coffee shops with decaf herbal iced tea and wireless internet who don't care how long you sit at their tables. Guess where I did a chunk of my writing today?

8. The internet. Man, it's a wonderful wide world. My current situation has me getting it in shorter doses instead of the mainlining allowed by the laptop and absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder.

9. Good books. I'm reading this one right now and it's not a great book, it's not everything I want it to be but it's compelling me right through it. The plot is slow and meandering but there's some kind of suspense on an emotional level that has me on the edge of my seat.

10. My awesome bed. It's the first non hand me down bed I've ever had I think. Well, as an adult. I think my original twin bed was new to me. I never asked. Man, I love my bed. Next up pillows that don't hate me.

Image courtesy of, you guessed it, Google Images.

Promptly

Aaryn has been doing these PROMPTuesday things occasionally. Every time I read her contributions I think, "I want to do that. I really ought to." and then I don't. Since yesterday was a writing day I decided there was no time like the present. Here's my first attempt, from this prompt. Jump on the bandwagon, the shocks are good and the band is actually resting after a long night.

The door creaks as it opens and inside it is dark. It looks damp and smells it too. There’s something else, another odor, dusty and burned, a candle. The room is small but the dark space seems endless between me and the candle. Someone is holding that candle. Or something. It’s hard to tell until it speaks.

“Come in,” the deep, raspy, ruined voice, straight out of a horror movie commands me.

Against all rational thought I enter.

“Closer.” It urges. My skin pimples and my spine shivers but still I walk.

The dirt is cool beneath my toes and my heart is hammering in my chest making the blood pound in my ears so I can hardly hear.

“The passage is dark.” It warns me as it turns. “Follow me closely.”

“Where…?” I trail off.

“It is my duty to show you your castle, Your Highness.”

Prayer?

Has asking for support on one's blog become a new form of prayer?

Either way, the heat and the resultant energy drain has been jacking the subways up a bit. I'm off to work tomorrow, please keep your fingers crossed for a working commute.

Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

A Ketchup Moment

When I was 20 or so I worked at a famous four star restaurant as a reservationist and cashier. Everything Anthony Bourdain tells you is true. It's a disgusting environment and it's a hard core business but the people are fabulous and the food is delicious. Ladies in my job (we were all ladies, girls really) had chances to chit chat with all the different folks who worked there. I met a lot of really lovely guys but unfortunately I was living with someone at the time.

One of those guys was a waiter. He was older than me, it felt at the time like he was much older but I suspect he was 27 at the outside. He was an architecture enthusiast, he might even have been a grad student or an architect-in-training, I can't remember, but I know he was big on architecture because he told me about the buildings of New York City and the people who designed and built them. I also don't remember his name. I don't even have a glimmer. Mike? Dan? Sergei? Probably not Sergei but possibly Ivan. Let's call him Dan. Dan was maybe 5'7", 5'8", sandy hair, round face, light skin. He was attractive but not hot. He had the penetrating stare of an attractive intellectual going for him, though. You know the type. They sit in the corner at parties and just look at you until you approach them.

One day I was on my way to work while Dan was on his way away from it. We met on the hill between the subway and the restaurant in front of a warehouse. Why do I remember that? I remember what I was wearing, too. I had this dress with a straight black skirt and a tailored, collared cream bodice with medium sized black polka dots. I miss that dress. There were heels involved I think. I was wearing a scarf, too. It was the late 80s/early 90s it was a scarfy time and I took full advantage of it. That day I was wearing a long, rectangular, sheer black scarf with deep red cabbage roses on it looped once around my neck with the long ends falling down the front of my dress.

Dan crossed the street to meet up with me and called out, "You should be careful wearing your scarf like that."

And in all my 20-year-old slow uptake naivete I glanced down at the scarf and said, "Why?"

He said, "Because someone might to this." Then he grasped the tails of the scarf, tightening it around my throat just enough to immobilize but not to hurt, stepped in to me and kissed me.

I wish I could say I remembered the kiss. I was even planning to reconstruct the kiss based on probabilities just to have a logical progression but the truth is the kiss didn't matter. OK, it mattered. If it had been horrible I would have remembered it. The fact is, though, that any guy who has mastered the lead in like that isn't going to kiss badly. He'll probably even be an above average face sucker but apparently this one wasn't enough above average to last the 19 some-odd years between then and now.

I remember those brief moments before, though, in vivid, dream-inducing detail. I still have the scarf and I'm pissed that the dress is missing. What would I do if I had it? Try to re-create the moment?

If only that were possible.

Image credit, Google Images - The Woolworth Building

Puddle

What did I say I was going to do again?

No, seriously, I can't remember, I'm going to have to go look it up. Ah, there it is.

I actually did all of that. I can't say I bathed the dog well but she's far, far cleaner than she was beforehand.

I also rehearsed my lines, went to brunch, rehearsed with the folks, cleaned up around the joint, called mom, called ChemE, called another friend, talked to the vet about Elvis's new/old heart condition and watched like 5 episodes of Firefly which continues to amaze me.

Oh, and I commented on that post over at Katie's place. You should go take a minute and contribute to her informal research on family size and parenting. Right now I think I'm only the second person with no kids to answer but the family sizes represented are relatively diverse, no families with onlies that I can see thus far and the only negative comments are about only children but that's par for the course (I want to write an entry about being a functioning, sharing, integrated part of society and an only child but so far every time I write it I come off as 1 part defensive and 3 parts asshole so I'm still tweaking it). I'm finding it at least as interesting if not more so to read what people's family experiences growing up were as opposed to their experiences of raising kids. Anyway, you don't need to hear me yammer on about it, go check it out for yourself.

Tomorrow (and by tomorrow I mean later today, I need to go to bed now) I'm taking a vacation day for the dual but closely related purposes of writing and mental health. I'm not sure how I'll do that without melting since we may well hit 100 degrees in this oppressive humidity but I'm glad that I'll be around to monitor and gauge the pets in that situation. For writing purposes I may be keeping myself off line for a chunk of the day but I will be around. I'm still working out how to engage in online shenanigans with a desktop computer as opposed to a laptop that I can carry around and check in with while I'm doing other things. This is complicated by the way I shut off different parts of the apartment for energy efficiency and cooling since I'm forced to turn on the AC.

Have a non-melty day! I'll talk to you soon!

Brain Scramble

Friday night I wrote posts and posted them and I wrote a post and scheduled it and I imagined having time to do more of that.

By the time Saturday morning rolled around I'd found out that Alita had a performance Saturday afternoon in a part of Brooklyn just barely connected to my part via public transportation and my laptop had died.

Look how I snuck that last bit in so it doesn't sound like my heart broke when it happened.

I'm looking into fixit options (Dear Mr. Chili, I love you. Love and kisses, Kizz) and typing from the desktop and thanking my lucky stars that I have a desktop and that I saved at least one copy of the speed dating play onto Google Reader. Yeah, that's right, I wrote a play, a play that's enjoying a tiny amount of success, a play for which I have a rehearsal today, a play that I have not looked at in months and I don't have a printed out copy anywhere.

Genius, I tell you.

In other news, be careful what you wish for. I'm sure at some point I wished that someone with a large readership would link to me. I really am going to have to figure out a nicer way to say,"I like kids, I really like kids, I'd just like people to concentrate on raising the really nice kids (and even the not so nice ones, they can't help it) who are already here." Oh, well, there you go, why didn't I do that sooner?

I'm leaving that paragraph there, just as it is, not going on about it any more. Do you know how hard that is for me? I'm going to be thinking about it all day long. My shower is going to be filled with thoughts of it.

Moving on!

I want to bathe the dog, move my printer, print my play, walk the dog, shower, dress, make up, slather sunscreen and be out the door to brunch and rehearsal by 11. Think I can make it?

I don't.

I Little Poemy Something For Your Saturday

In the interest of entering this contest just for fun I took down my copy of A.A. Milne's When We Were Very Young. Someone beat me to "My mother is a fish." so I entered an excerpt from Disobedience instead. Do you know that one? "James James Morrison Morrison Weatherbee George Dupree took great care of his mother though he was only three..." Do you know it? If you don't just let me know and I'll share (or you can just click the link and read it there, whichever you prefer). It got me to flipping through the book, though, and I found this other little poem that I think I like much better now that I'm an adult.

Halfway Down

Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn't any
Other stair
Quite like
It.
I'm not at the bottom,
I'm not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up,
And isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery,
It isn't in the town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head:
"It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!"

Oh Dearie Dearie Me

I saw this over at Flea's place and thought it'd be fun to take it.

-3 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

In my defense a lot of the questions had to do with how one treats one's husband and...well, let's just say that I don't have a key piece of equipment for that and not answering them might have adversely affected my score. Can't blame it all on that, though. There were questions about aprons for god's sake!

FFF-Hot As A Biscuit

OK, it's not hot yet but it's getting there. Starting tomorrow we're getting 4 days in the 90s and I'm almost giddy with excitement. I'm trying not to think about how much AC costs since I'm going to have to put some on to save the dog from expiration but boy howdy I love the heat and I'm so sick of carrying a jacket around and being cold on the way to work and all the other fickle weather related stuff I thought I was escaping when I moved out of New England. (Dear New England, It happens everywhere you dirty, dirty liar. Chilled Regards, Kizz) Not going to be a problem this weekend.

Wheeeeeeeeee!

More Small Talk

One of my favorite questions when topics run dry in a social situation is about burial. How do you want to be disposed of? I'm pretty boring, I want to be cremated and buried in a family plot near my grandparents. Some people want to be cremated and scattered in certain places or with certain things. Some people don't want to be cremated but do want to be buried in a ziploc bag. Some people want to be used in coral reef making or wrapped in sheeting and buried under a tree or donated to science or, for you St. Elmo's fans, dressed up in a cat suit.

Pretty sure I've never heard anyone say they wanted to be buried in a potato chip container...until now.

Thanks to M for the link!

There But For, $5, Go Now!

I can't somehow type fast enough to tell you about this even though the whole project has been going on so long and I haven't been able to slow down enough to type out all my feelings about it but this part has to happen today, today is a new day and a day we can easily make a difference.

Jen Lemen does good things. She just came back from a trip to Rwanda doing many good things. Today she posted a story about a woman who has dreams and abilities and luck but who is being ground down to a nub by all the little things that stand in her way. I get that. I've been reading all of your stuff lately, each and every one of you get that (some of you are taking decisive action on it, too). Today and today only Jen is taking donations of only $5 (no more, no less) to help this wonderful woman, Goreth, to give her hope, to help her dig out of her hole, to maximize her own generosity and potential. I feel like this is such an opportunity for me to pay forward as well as an opportunity for Goreth and for Jen.

Gratefully, I hit the button and donated before I posted here. I hope you will be inclined to find $5 and a moment too.

Better Than Google

I tell you what you need to do if you have cancery questions to ask. Don't google, no, no. All you're going to get there are worst case scenarios and, if you're anything like me, you can work those up all by yourself. Instead I suggest you cultivate a friend who will come to casual dinners and when you gently work cancer into the conversation will say soothing things.

This delightful friend of mine explained the squamous cell thing to me. Apparently the squamous cells themselves are, indeed, not at all dangerous. What they are, though, are cells that reproduce faster than normal cells. The reason that you keep an eye on them more carefully is that if they were to mutate into something cancerous they would then spread more quickly because they divide more quickly already. Now I get it and feel better about it. She's very fair skinned and prone to the same sorts of skin problems while also having started her career as a cytologist diagnosing cancer and on top of that she's very matter of fact about these sorts of things so she's the perfect source.

As a bonus feature she also explained why you'll probably never be able to use my blood for a transfusion. I lived in the UK during the original Mad Cow outbreak and because of that I've been banned from giving blood or blood products. I thought that, some time in the future, that ban might be lifted but she says no. It's because the disease isn't a bacteria and there's no test for it. If a contaminated sample goes through their very expensive machines they have to throw the machines away because you can't clean the problem out of them. She provides a caveat, though, if it's an emergency and it's my blood or imminent death you should take it anyway because you'll at least live a little longer and probably won't have any problems at all. But only in an emergency, OK?