Tuesday, September 30, 2008

10 Itty Bitty Things

There are big things going on in life, in my life (lots of them have to do with work, just can't safely go into it here) and in the world (those things have a lot to do with my job, too, which is truly unfortunate), which is making the whole writing thing truly a paralyzing venture. Lists are good for paralysis. Thank goodness for 10 Things Tuesday. I'm going to go with 10 tiny annoyances in the hopes that the tiny things will seem absurd and make me/us feel all lucky in the face of the looming scariness going on in the world. Think it'll work? I'm skeptical but optimistic.

1. There were no Frosted Flakes at work yesterday and there probably aren't going to be any for another month or so. I love Frosted Flakes! I also love free breakfast! Free is good when the economy is tanking!

2. Someone left my lunch out on the counter yesterday. There was plenty of room in the fridge and I do not eat anything that could possibly be mistaken for someone else's lunch (beets, cucumbers & tuna salad in a cracked plastic container) so I don't know why the hell someone would do that. I ate it anyway. I didn't die. Yet.

3. Stupid CBS's stupid football schedule cut off the endof my DVR'd episode of The Unit and I can't find the full ep online.

4. Lee Tergesen hasn't come to my house and offered to lick me all over. (Note: I'd take him up on the offer. He might not even be able to complete the sentence.)

5. I keep forgetting to throw away my Crocs so my cat keeps eating parts of them and horking them up all over the floor.

6. I annoyed the crap out of my Supper Club folks finding the exact perfect date we could all meet and 48 hours later someone got news that they couldn't come.

7. My hair came out all wonky yesterday even though I spent a bunch of time on it. I ended up wearing a hat all day, even in the office, and feeling all declasse about it.

8. Craig Ferguson has still not called to hire me to write political jokes.

9. It's unwise to drink champagne all day long when you're at work. (Note: I have not done this. I did it all day on a Sunday. Champagne is nature's decongestant and it finally cured my sinus headache.)

10. Important places in Queens are way too far away from my house.

OK, now you try.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Running With The Big Dogs

We haven't had a guest blogger over here in a while. This guest even requested the slot. ProfDoc is doing something good for herself while doing something good for others at the same time. The recent petrifying financial situation in the country has been freaking me (and a bunch of other people) out. I have been focusing a lot on freaking out about giving to other people so this is the perfect guest post for my current neuroses. I hope we can all help.

Last week Kizz wrote a post on responsible and ethical treatment of dogs. Well, actually she wrote a raving rant about an episode of Bones that she ended with a PSA urging people to spay and neuter their pets, adopt pets that need homes, and kick Michael Vick in the balls.

Since you can only spay/neuter each pet once, may not have pets, may have no room at your inn to adopt, and/or may not be incarcerated with the felon formerly known as a quarterback, I wanted to offer you another option.

I have been volunteering at a semi-local humane society for 4 years now. It’s an amazing place. They take in unwanted domestic animals from the community, evaluate them, take great care of them, and adopt them out. Dogs end up there for a variety of reasons, some frustrating (their owners have “no time” or think they are “too big”), some sad (their owners lost their homes or became ill), and some unknown.

In the last year or so, they have been expanding their efforts and contracting with a humane society in Alabama to receive transports (read: vanloads) of 20-30 dogs about once a month, which they then adopt out. I have been involved on both sides of the transports, greeting the dogs when they arrive and adopting them into good homes. Seeing both sides it’s hard to miss the reality:

These dogs begin their journey in an overcrowded shelter where they would likely eventually die and end up in the arms of an eager, loving family.

And it happens thanks to the work, love, energy, and money of “my” humane society and the one in Alabama.

So. Here’s how YOU can help: I am just nuts enough to be training for a marathon in January (the Disney one, if you must know). Although my main reason for running is to simply find out if I can, I want to get the most bang for my blisters, so I am working to raise enough money to run the humane society for 26.2 hours. You know, 1 hour per mile.

PLEASE help me help the dogs. Mrs. Chili asked yesterday, “What’s my lousy little donation of five bucks going to mean to anyone?” Here, it will buy 2 bottles of Dawn Green Apple Scent Dish Detergent used to clean kennels, or part of a bag of IAMS dog food, or several bottles of hand santizer, or a slip lead, all items crucial to daily operation. Click here to donate. We all appreciate it.

(The photo is Heidi – she is our very own humane society alumnus.)

PS Massachusetts residents: Vote YES on Question 3. The greyhounds will love you.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Yet Another Goodbye

Paul Newman 1925 - 2008

Just Figured It Out

I just figured out what they're doing with Palin. They're using her as a substitute First Lady. "Eh, we don't need a Vice President anyway, that's just some dumb rule they put in that...uh, what's that thing, the Constitution?"

I'm watching something on DVR that's got a preview for a news appearance Palin apparently made the other day touching on the work her dad did at Ground Zero. She's touching artifacts and listening intently to one of New York's Bravest and frankly she looks great...for a First Lady. Cindy McCain, a woman who has done a lot of interesting and good things in her life, is extremely stiff and nervous in front of the public and has a style that has moved me to uncharitably refer to her as "a pointy, pointy lady." She's not bringing people into the campaign and she looks incongruous next to her elderly, rounded spouse. Palin on the other hand is polished but not brittle, she's personable even when she isn't saying anything we can understand and most of all people like her. Check out this photo I found of an early campaign stop at an ice cream parlor. Palin is reaching out to a voter, she's eating her ice cream, she's smiling openly and connecting with the people around her. Not just Cindy but both McCains are focused oinward and don't seem to even notice that there are other people present. Mrs. McCain isn't even pretending to eat some ice cream for the sake of being polite to the people who made it. We call that a "no thank you helping" where I come from.

This is why Palin's party hasn't been training her for the debate, for the press and for the job of Vice President. The feminists have been up in arms about how sexist this choice is and the not-so-feminists have been admonising us all to stop talking about her gender at all but it's so much worse than either group has said. There is one crucial difference between VP and FLOTUS and it's that FLOTUS isn't one miocardial infarction away from running this country.

How easy is it to get citizenship in Belize?

Friday, September 26, 2008

I Don't Know How Long I'll Last

So I got back in from walking the dog and decided I'd turn on the TV and try to watch the debate. Within one sentence I was choking on bile.

"$5,000 refundable tax credit for health care"

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't that mean that one would have to have $5,000 available to pay out of pocket over the course of a little over a year before it would then be refunded? HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING FROM KATRINA? People didn't have $300 to evacuate before their entire city flooded and you think it's a gift to "give" them a tax credit as long as they have $5,000 they can pay up front?

At the risk of repeating myself, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

Obama and McCain both addressed some other problems with that health care plan but no one is pointing this basic fact out. People don't have health care because they don't have enough money for it. The solution is not, I suspect, to do this sort of dollar matching sleight of hand.

Anyway, the answer to the question, "Did you watch the debate?" is probably going to be, "I tried."

Can this count as my Floral Fucking Friday? With all this manure being spread around there has to be a flower close by.

Waving A Flag So You Know I'm Over Here

Julia is worried about me. Don't worry Julia, I'm still in here.

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks with travel and funeral and guests and stuff to do and work and theatre and weird stuff happening at work and life and you know...stuff. It seems to have caught up with me and I just haven't had the gumption to write anything down here on the internet for a couple of days. Going home last night it was sad to come into a quiet house with the ladies gone. If you know me at all you'll be surprised to hear that but no one was hauling out a tub of hummus or feeding me ice cream out of a carton or giggling with me before we went to sleep last night and that was sad. They made this week better, way more tiring but in a really good way.

So I let myself have a pass on last night for pretty much everything. I haven't folded up the fold out couch and I've barely moved off of it and, frankly, I don't see much movement in the cards for the entire weekend. The pets concur.

I am actually a little late leaving the couch right this minute. I'm off to class, perhaps to a movie, to brave Ikea to get a wedding present and then right back here to this fold out couch. I've got a couple of Netflix and practically a whole week of TV on the DVR that needs watching and a brain that is incapable of anything else.

But I'm OK, I promise and you'll probably hear from me soon. Thanks for asking.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Randomosity to the Power of 10

Too much fun in the near term and too much upheaval in the longer term for me to be able to formulate a themed list for today. Yesterday around 3:30 I had plenty of work still do to but had completely lost the ability to accomplish anything. To my credit I kept trying but I'd do things like look at my list, dial the phone and then just give up. Everything, right down to my sentences, was left unfinished. Let's see what I can do for you today, though.

1. It turns out that I prefer the solid color Smart Cars to the traditional two tone ones. Too bad the color isn't the important part about Smart Cars.

2. Over at Chili's there's a slightly warmer than room temperature political conversation going on. She got worried about the heat of it and I waded in there and got all advocatey about emotional distance on this emotional topic and extended the conversation with a question. Then someone answered me mostly pleasantly and basically rationally from their side of the debate and I had such an enormously emotional response that I find myself completely unable to continue the discussion that I put a big stink up about continuing in an adult manner. Seriously you guys, all my thoughts came rushing to my fingertips and my hair caught on fire and the only thing that kept me from spewing my froth all over the poor woman's blog was the fact that I was crying too hard to see the keyboard. Crisis narrowly averted.

3. Sarah Palin is in town. She's coming to the UN, which just happens to be near my office. Security is tight ass. I have to walk 5 blocks just to find a mailbox that's unlocked. I wonder how she'll like the UN. She's got a great ice breaker at least. She can walk right up to the Russian delegate and say, "Hey! Haven't I seen you from my kitchen window?"

4. Dear Craig Ferguson, call me! I can write political jokes, see? Craig? Hello? Helllooooo?

5. There's a Jonatha Brooke song that I'd never heard until today which is sort of breaking my heart. Jen Lemen posted a video or you can check out the lyrics.

6. There's this thing you're urged to do when writing drama where if you want to bring people to a hard emotion like sadness then you should try to make them laugh first. It brings their emotions closer to the surface since laughter is easier for most people to access. Once they feel open then you can slip in the more painful emotion and it will reach a deeper place with your audience. So, I'm all sad, with good reason. Then Zelda and the girls come and we're just having so much fun. Yesterday I went to work and they went to class and pretty much from the moment I left them I was crying all day. So that whole make 'em laugh to make 'em cry thing really works.

7. I miss my Auntie Blanche. So much.

8. The cream cheese deviled egg of the day was truly delicious.

9. Zelda colored my hair for me and I love it. (pictured)

10. I didn't post yesterday. I just...didn't. It felt kind of weird but OK but weird but, well, you know.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Maybe I Should Have Saved This For Tuesday

But I'm not going to.

Zelda and two of her girls, MGirl and Mandrea, are visiting from that place where the wind goes sweeping down the plain. They're doing some continuing ed to boost their earnings back on the home plain. They've been in New York just about twenty-four hours and here are some reasons that I should have houseguests more often.

1. Fun! Duh.

2. Excuses to buy more books. I mean Zelda visits that bookstore every year when she comes and she was buying books and I didn't want her to be lonely. That would be rude.

3. Chicken Fried Steak and guacamole and margarita at Cowgirl.

4. Sushi, which we haven't done yet but will manage at some point.

5. It inspires me to do things I would normally dismiss as too much trouble or too crazy or not worth it. We're going to head up to the Bronx after the ladies get out of class this afternoon. We know we won't get into Yankee Stadium on this the last day of play inside it but they want to soak in some atmosphere, buy some souvenirs and get a few pictures. I think it's going to be really interesting and a cool experience. I also think I'll still be wigged by the crowds and all but that it'll be worth it.

6. It motivates me to do things like scrub my toilet and wash my floors (need new mop) and brush the dog. These are things I really should do all the time but well, you know me, I don't.

7. It's good for the pets. The cats are getting a lot better but they still see someone walk in the front door and look like they've seen a ghost, a very angry ghost. I think they've both allowed all three of the girls to touch them already which is a giant step forward. The dog, interestingly enough, even abandoned the fold out bed with me and Zelda and slept on the floor in the bedroom with MGirl and Mandrea.

8. It's good for me. The last few times Pony Express has called to say, "I'm coming over to drop something off/pick something up/watch TV" I've had to respond "OK, I'll put on pants." It's good that I'm made to remember that this is not normal.

9. I'm newly motivated to work on my million dollar idea of a New York City travel guide for middle income tourists to our fair city tentatively titled New York Virgins. It will provide web, e-mail, phone and in person support as needed (and paid for) to clients, helping them to enjoy their visit to New York City and learn to navigate it safely and well on their own. MGirl is going to be my sample success story for marketing. I'm having so much fun watching her move and groove around the city this trip. She's using all the stuff she learned last year and she's loving every minute of it. So proud.

10. It's fun to curl up in the bed with a friend and giggle before you fall asleep. Last night we almost had to change the sheets when the cat saw me, jumped up on the bed, saw Zelda and lost her tiny feline mind! Hilarious.

Maybe you had to be there.

11. OOooo, there are more than 10! An excuse to have a party. We're having folks over and wine and deviled eggs and Zelda is doing hair and everything tomorrow night. On a school night no less.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Why Would You Do This To Me?


Dear Folks Who Make Bones,

What the fuck you fucking fucks?

You had to make it the shepherd mix? Really?

There's a reason I don't watch the Dog Whisperer, it makes me cry every time. I was giving myself a headache. So you brought the worst of it to your show, a show I use to escape reality?

Well, thank you. Thank you very fucking much.

Also, good job. I hope a lot more dogs get adopted out of shitty situations because of you. Thanks for doing that. It was good. And I liked that touch about the asshole owners sending poor Ripley to be euthanized because they didn't know he'd get so big. Nice detail. Too bad you didn't put something in about how those assholes should have to clean up behind the assholes who use dogs for fighting.

Still, you fucking killed Ripley and I'm not getting over that any time soon.

Fuck you.


To Whom It May Concern:

SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS FOR FUCK'S SAKE. ADOPT PETS WHO HAVE BEEN ABANDONED. In my nearly 40 years I've had a lot of experience with the whole adoption of pets thing and it'll be so worth it. So intensely worth it.

Also, if you get a chance to meet someone who fought dogs up close and personal please kick them in the neuticles for me. Hard.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Want to Win Something?

No, sorry, it's not a solo dinner with this lovely lady.

Saintseester is running a contest over at Please Pass the Popcorn. Starting Monday she'll put a new movie still in the header every day. Guess all five movies and e-mail your answers to her on Friday (details here) and you could win a Blockbuster card. Isn't she fun?

I just posted a little something over there about Transamerica, which, not surprisingly I loved.

UnFloralling of a Friday

You may remember this shot from last week. I had enhanced it some but the changes don't seem to have taken and I can't be bothered to sort out why.

When I took this picture it was the first time I'd walked by since the joint was put up for sale. The people have been in the neighborhood for as long as I've been there and, from the looks of things, quite a lot longer. They are avid gardeners with lush plots all along the inside of their property line and what seems like a full balcony in the back, too. They've implemented design features that protect the plantings from errant dogs which I really appreciate. It's a gorgeous, huge townhouse and I can only begin to imagine what it'll go for.

Having my share of abandonment issues, though, all I keep thinking is "Why? They seemed so happy. What went wrong?"

I wonder if the next owners will be gardeners.

Crooner Craft

This one was really fun. SanDiegoMomma embedded a Sarah Mclachlan song in the instructions for PROMPTuesday #14 and we didn't even have to make paragraphs or sentences but she left this one piece of direction gently hanging, "Maybe a story will emerge."

Well fancy that.

Grand piano.

Long, slender hands play it. The fullness, almost tightness of my chest makes me want to cry but I swallow it. I’m just so full of the music.

The steep stairs were hard to climb. I almost got lost in the dense maroon carpet.

Our hands lay on the table fingers entwined. I squeeze without taking my eyes off the cool smooth drummer in this smoky jazz club.

Glasses are clinking, there’s cranberry juice in front of me. I’d asked for vodka but didn’t get much. I see someone wipe down the bar from the corner of my eye. People are talking softly, murmuring, behind me.

Smoke swirls in the shafts of light from the licos* and fresnels and baby spots over the throaty singer and her instrument.

When I lean my head on his shoulder he kisses my hair but doesn’t let go of my hand. I let the tears drip silently into his shirt.

He doesn’t mind.

*Is that the way you spell the name of the light? I can't remember.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wagon Of Band I Am On It

For PROMPTuesday #13 we're doing this:

Complete the paragraph and continue the story.


“Wait!” I screamed after her.Your hat!”

She ignored me, which was to be expected. We hadn’t talked, not really anyway, in more than 10 years. I scooped up her black hat. The mesh veil fluttered beneath my fingers…

And this is what I wrote:

“Wait!” I screamed after her. “Your hat!”

She ignored me, which was to be expected. We hadn’t talked, not really anyway, in more than 10 years. I scooped up her black hat. The mesh veil fluttered beneath my fingers. Tightening my grip I pelted after her. “I can explain! Jenny, please!” Fortunately her Manolos were no match for my Pumas and I caught up with her before the corner. Handing her the hat I faced her. While she pinned it back on her head I pressed my advantage. “Jenny, it’s me, Gloria.”

“That’s not funny.” She spat, wincing as the hat pin slipped and nicked her scalp.

“I’m not joking”

“I don’t know how you know this or what kind of weird plastic surgery you had done or why in hell you’d want to do this but my sister died over a decade ago so whatever you’re here to do or say isn’t funny at all. Just because I’ve been in a couple of popular movies doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” It was sweet to hear her new “actress voice.” I hadn’t realized she used it all the time, I thought it had something to do with the way they recorded the dialogue for her movies.

“Oh, don’t I know it. You beat the pants off me in that spelling bee in 5th grade. What was the word?”

“Epithet” we chimed together.

“This, this just isn’t…believable.” She whispered, her voice cracking.

“It is. I promise. I can help you believe if you’ll just give me a couple of minutes. Can you do that?”

I had an oddly visceral memory of the look she was getting. I couldn’t really blame her. I had been a horrible sister with a true gift for torturing the gullible. Over time I’d parlayed that into a career.

'Cause Baldsug Said To

1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture

Posted 'cause he said this.

Go on. Do it. You know you wanna.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Snapshots From A Day

Long bus rides to the foreign lands of the Upper East Side carrying precious cargo and reading about the creation of Mormonism. Well-coiffed older ladies sit near the front. Cell phone wielding businessmen stride toward the back of the doubled vehicle. I cannot see where I belong and wind up too close to one and too far from the other and unable to see the street signs.


Indulging in a bus ride home in deference to my heavy shoes I am treated to a carnival ride. We reach the speed of light by mid block and screech to a halt at each red light. I keep my feet and feel like a famous surfer but wonder if I wouldn't have been better off foot-wise to have walked.


A drink on the sidewalk outside a local restaurant with the elderly dogs ecstatic to lounge at our sides keeping tabs on the passersby. The waiter and busman bring a large bowl of water for each dog before we're even asked what we would like to drink.

That is as it should be.


A phone call with a friend, spewing all the niggling icks I can't say here or much of anywhere these days. I unpack my suitcase and clear away my extraneous living room cosmetics while we talk. I barely notice the work.


To save the ravaged skin of my arms I trick the Anna cat into a pedicure. I finish and she doesn't run away. In all her eight years that's a first.

Small victories these days. Small victories.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Passion Fruit

I got all passionate over at Please Pass the Popcorn tonight. I'd love to hear what you think about it. If you comment over there my fellow Popcorn bloggers will know I'm pulling my own weight.


How Many? And When Again?

I missed August. Whoops. August was rough around the edges.

As always new(ish) information is in italics.

1. Get regular vocal coaching (see also #14) [I got a phone number for a guy months ago. I still haven't called it.]
2. Record 2 more tracks for CD - I've been thinking about this a lot and might even know which couple of tracks I want to do but again I need accompaniment.
3. Night Before Christmas for fam (make a book? buy them? convince this guy to illustrate a version and help him publish it?)
4. Continue Floor Barre classes - IN PROGRESS Haven't been in a couple of weeks, will get ass kicked on Friday.
5. Add another hour per week of exercise (3 sessions of 20 minutes each per week) - This too has been on my mind a lot. And yet my mind isn't getting any stronger from it.
6. Submit Chekhov or Speed Dating play to 20 places - Still submitted to one place. I also wrote a screenplay for an actor-director team so I'm counting that as a submission of sorts, too. So 2 down, 18 to go. I can still focus more effort here.
7. Book Shakespeare 10 places
8. Go on a date - I'm going to enter the dating thing at My Open Wallet but I'm still a little unsure about how to describe my financial style.
9. New Year at the steam pipes
10. 2 field trips with Alita We've been to the Botanical Gardens and out to lunch and we had the most awesome Mermaid Parade experience. I'm sure we'll do more before year's end but I'm counting this DONE.
11. Post-Thanksgiving Open House
12. Find director for Chekhov - I'm changing this to find a director for the Speed Dating play, which is DONE and is working out wonderfully.
13. Reading of Chekhov - In accordance with #12 I'm changing this to a second run of the Speed Dating play in NYC. We've got a director, we're doing it in MA so this might not be too difficult. More of a reach than changing this to performing it in MA.
14. Find new vocal coach
15. Sing live - Hey, surprise, I did this. Turned out to be at a funeral but damned if I'm not giving myself this one 'cause I did it and it was hard. DONE
16. Hang pictures
18. Perform at Boerum Hill nursing home sing along - I need to just go, though I think that after singing at AB's funeral it's going to be hard.
19. Lobsterbake (June) - DONE
20. Complete play for Women's Night (Feb) - DONE
21. Complete non verbal piece for Women's Night (Feb) - DONE
22. Complete admin work for Women's Night (Feb) - DONE
23. Perform Women's Night (Feb 15 & 16) - DONE
24. Polish up 3 short stories - Working on a musical now as well as that short story.
25. 20 short story submissions
26. Go to Met Museum - DONE
27. See South Pacific - DONE
28. See Farnsworth Invention - Totally missed this. May see August:Osage County with Zelda next week so will sub that.
29. 3 activist actions that do not include the use of form e-mail (suggestions welcome) - saving Lorry and donating to Jen Lemen's friend and I donated to the Obama campaign to register voters. DONE.
30. See an opera
31. Go to MoMA - DONE, had a lovely time with a friend and walked through every square inch of the photography part which is exactly what I wanted to see.
32. Go to Frick - DONE in Jan when ChemE came to visit.
33. Fix back-up hard drive
34. Install Final Draft (script writing software)
35. Learn how to use Final Draft
36. Continue Weight Watchers eating plan - calling this DONE even though, in some respects, it's never done. You know?
37. Meet goal weight of 125 - DONE!!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCKING DONE!!!!!!!!!
38. Check in on this list once per month - OK, so I skipped a month, that's not so bad. I think I can still call myself successful.
39. Re-do work files - In progress.
40. Keep work files current
41. Clean out closets - I worked on this a little.
42. Set up home filing system
43. Gyn appointment
44. Dentist appointment
45. Buy scanner - DONE, didn't have to buy it, Pony Express gave me her extra. Now I just have to learn how to use it.
46. Scan family photos - See above re: learning to use it.
47. Auntie Blanche's birthday (98 on August 23) - DONE. Bleargh.
48. Trip to beach - Hey, this is DONE too. Took ChemE's delightfully pesty little dog for a beach run on Saturday morning. Pictures forthcoming.
49. Post photos to Flickr - Calling this DONE, it's a habit and something I love.
50. Invest 1/2 savings
51. See accountant in person - DONE, and I mailed her a check for her services today, too.
52. Re-work investments to maximize return
53. Sort out IRA contribution
54. NaBloPoMo (Nov)
55. Go to Brooklyn Museum
56. Update address book - I've made a tiny amount of progress here.
57. Make Christmas cards - I'm questioning whether I'll send cards this year. Thoughts?
58. Take more photos (practice makes perfect after all) - DONE Got my third session a week from tomorrow. My first one with just one person. I'm looking forward to learning about how it works with only one person.
59. Learn more about how I'm taking those photos (suggestions welcome) - The plan for now is to take the class at ICP in November. I was going to take the October one but it's already full. I better sign up for the November one soon. Someone make sure I do that will you?
60. Read 4 classic/good-for-me books (perhaps from this list Chrome mentioned) - Orlando done and quite enjoyed even. Add that to Sin & Syntax and you've got 2 down, 2 to go. I've got a non fiction about Mormonism I've started that will make three. Plus I read a trilogy of classic Children's books that I'd never read before, the Golden Compass series. You know what, calling this DONE.
61. Plan 40th birthday celebration for Jan 2009 (trip? party? both? both, right?) - Yes to both. This is getting so stupid hard because I don't want to approach new venues. BLAH! For now the party plan is to have nibbles and cocktails at my house then find a venue where we'll buy drinks, provide the live music and perhaps have cake. If no to the cake we'll go back to my place for that.
62. Research health insurance providers - DONE!
63. Change health insurance providers if appropriate - We're calling this DONE since we would have done it if we had to. And by we I mean me.....and the voices in my head.
64. Bring lunch 3 days/week - Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it!
65. Get photos framed
66. Get contact lenses
67. Make out will
68. Inquire about grave plot
69. Renew passport
70. Submit for print audition (actors access?)
71. Submit for commercial audition
72. Write Aunt Rena once/month - I may have missed August here but I'll send her something this week.
73. Write Auntie Blanche once/month - Well, I guess we can call this DONE can't we?
74. Cook once/week (doing this is integral to being able to do #64) - Doing it.
75. Go to Cyclones game - Missed this this year. Just...didn't get to it.
76. Take all vacation days - I re-did the tally. I've got 10 days left.
77. Make new cookbook pages (this may morph into making another homemade Christmas gift)
78. God's Love for Thanksgiving
79. Solve electric meter problem
80. Write on something significant (short story, play, etc.) 15 minutes/day, 5 days per week - I think I'm averaging this but I'm not writing a small amount consistently, I'm writing a larger amount with more space in between.
81. Send Christmas thank you notes - Kids, it's clear that I'm not getting this done, right? If you gave me something I'm really grateful, I promise. I got good stuff. Also, there's really no need to get me anything this year. Donate on my behalf instead.
82. Vocal warm-up 5 days/week
83. Physical warm-up 5 days/week
84. Pay extra mortgage payment - I've been paying a little extra here and there but I don't think it adds up. I'm also not in a great place cashola wise. I should still do this, though. Need to do some math.
85. Get facial - My face is sloughing off onto the wayside. I should really do this but see above re: cashola.
86. Record financial outgoings faithfully (see #96 re: Quicken)
87. Get Elvis's ultrasound (May) - DONE!
88. Complete at least half of the items on this list (I'm so meta) - I'm optimistic about this one.
89. Actually hang up my Christmas wreath properly
90. Change over to those swirly energy saver light bulbs - I've installed a grand total of 1.
91. Host Supper Club - My turn comes up the first week in October and I even know what I'm serving.
92. Host Brunch
93. Get lip biopsied - DONE
94. Wear sunscreen every day - Habit. DONE
95. 30 minutes per week home improvement (above and beyond my definition of maintenance cleaning) - Trying, weakly.
96. Learn how to set up a new "me" in Quicken (Any Quicken experts out there? I took a look at it last night and I don't know if I know how to do it right. And I want to know how to record cash purchases, too.)
97. Go to one participatory music event for the holidays - This seems extra important now.
98. Finish sending out 2007 Holiday cards (I'm 2/3 done!) - This just ain't getting done.
99. Re-organize kitchen cabinets
100. Apply creams/lotions/oils/ungents to scar daily - Doing it.
101. Get new digital camera - DONE
102. Send birthday cards (preferably before the birthday) - Doing OK.
103. Travel once outside of "event" trips (birthdays, Christmas, lobsterbake etc.) - DONE, DC Day trip.
104. Floss thrice weekly
105. Move Music and Photos to desktop Mac - I moved the photos (three times! oops), need to learn how to do the music just once. - Still haven't moved music.
106. Leap more often (as opposed to plan, plot, think, prepare ex. I just decided to produce an evening of work by my female friends and the next day I sent out an e-mail.) - This is so impossible to quantify. It feels like I'm getting better, though.
107. Make at least 1 of the books in #60 a non-fiction (maybe the Omnivore's Dilemma, definitely not Fast Food Nation. Probably better if it's not a food book at all. I have enough trouble with food already right now.) - I read Sin & Syntax so this is DONE.
108. Finish this list. DONE!

DONE: 32 (+9 from July which seems like a lot)

In Progress: 27 (-5, which has to do with not starting a lot of things but surely ending a ton of them but if I add together what I've got done and what I've got in progress I'll surely have finished half of the things on the list by year's end so that's pretty good)

Ten What Now?

It's 10 Things Tuesday. I took a pass last week for obvious reasons but I'm trying to get back into my routine. Can't concentrate a whole lot (god, remember when 3 of my grandparents died in a 6 month period, I bet I didn't complete a sentence from November to June) so I thought I'd go random but I can't come up with 10 discrete thoughts so how about the first 10 starred items in my Google Reader? This may be embarrassing if all 10 are chapters of fan fiction but that's the way it goes.

1. These things from Design Sponge. I'm actually not entirely sure what they are or what they're for but I think I like them. Or they might make good presents. It's unclear so I couldn't let it go.

2. An entry by Jen Lemen because it contains this quote that I wanted to share with you:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.”
–Howard Thurman

It occurs to me that I may have shared that quote with you before but I can't remember and it bears repeating and you should all know about Jen anyway. Go on, go away and read Jen, I won't be offended. Look at her pictures, too.

3. Today's SanDeigoMomma PROMPTuesday prompt. So behind. Wonder if I'll be able to work on one thing for just the 10 minutes required. Think it will feel good to try.

4. Third chapter of a Veronica Mars fanfic, To Her Liking, by frozenmolasses that's AU (alternate universe) and about what might have happened if Celeste Kane had divorced Jake when Lilly was a baby and then died in an explosion when Lilly was a teen from NYC.

5. The post announcing a new t-shirt from Feministing. I so do not need another t-shirt but I like the sentiment ("A woman candidate is not the same thing as a woman's candidate.") so it's starred here for me to look at and hem and haw over until I finally decide I don't care to look at it anymore and I realize I don't have enough money to be chucking away on t-shirts I don't need, no matter how right they are.

6. A recommendation from MightyGirl about a blog she likes, Nothing But Bonfires, that I'd like to check out because I've heard about it before but haven't had a chance to.

7. This truly awe inspiring political post by Leahpeah that I wanted to share with you guys. It is chock full of links and facts (facts! mercy!) and it's written completely logically and pleasantly, with passion but without an ounce of ire. It's a primer for all of us who don't read proper news nearly enough.

8. This post by Julia Sweeney of SNL fame about Sarah Palin. It does not have nearly the even-keeled tone of Leahpeah's post but it does talk about this notion that Palin brought up about not blinking. When asked if she hesitated when asked to run she said she didn't blink. She meant it like a good thing and, in some contexts, I'm sure that it is but in this one it comes across as either frightening or ridiculous, I think. You are the caretaker of not only a large family but an entire state and when asked to do a job that requires you to be pivotal in taking care of a whole dadgum country and where you have not even met your running mate before you don't take a moment of reflection. Really? I'm not sure I want you running my local deli, then, much less my country you incurious bottom feeder. "I didn't blink. I also didn't order more vanilla chocolate chip ice cream. Oops."

9. Wow, here I was afraid that my whole 10 would be fanfiction and it's turning out to be heavy on the political information. This is making me look far smarter and more engaged than I am. You would hardly guess that this weekend while King Bee was having a phone conversation about Palin with a friend I screamed, "WHY WOULD YOU VOTE FOR A WOMAN WHO HATES WOMEN!!!!!!" and stomped off in a huff. (For the record King Bee was arguing the No Palin Nohow side.) Anyway, here at number 9 we have a post by ejshea that talks about the different tax plans from the Dems and Reps. There's an easy to understand chart and everything. If you still take public transportation or clip coupons or the like then I think it's pretty clear who wants to help you out. But don't listen to me, go check it out for yourself. Be curious!

10. I'm almost afraid to go look and see what the final thing will be. I promise not to cheat. Oh. Well. It's not embarrassing but it's not super interesting either since I feel certain you've all gotten wind of it already. It's ejshea again. She's one of the many people who have pointed to the Tina Fey doing Palin on SNL video. I starred it 'cause I haven't watched it yet and want to. Perhaps today I'll get to it. (Tina, Call me! I love you!)

What do you have stockpiled?

Monday, September 15, 2008

This Is Why I Don't

I know that my low caliber housekeeping seems like laziness or a choice but it's not. I'm saving my life by limiting my exposure to cleaning apparatus. Remember when I accidentally mixed cleaning products and almost asphyxiated myself?

Tonight I knew I didn't have a lot of work in me. The day has felt heavy, no real surprise, but still tiring. Still I don't want my house guests to be grossed out so I'm plugging along making things (relatively) shiny.

Now, back story, I bought a new mop sponge a while ago. It doesn't fit. Foolishly I assumed that no one would make different widths of attachment bolts for squeezy mops. I just figured they all go together. They don't. Just, you know, FYI. (Dear Mop People, Fuck you, you fucking fucks! Love, Kizz)

I decided I could do the floor of my postage stamp kitchen. Given the back story I was planning on my hands and knees the old fashioned and not-nearly-as-sexy-as-it-sounds way. So there I am bruising my kneecaps and having no fun doing it when I set something down on the counter and watch for an instantaneous eternity as a glass bottle of cat oil (don't ask, you already know I'm the crazy cat lady, you don't need more evidence) slid off the counter and shattered on the floor. Tiny shards of glass swimming in pools of stinky oil covering the only part of the floor that I'd actually cleaned. Pissed, freaked and cut off from the sink by a lake of digestive lubricant I wandered around finding paper towels and trying not to shred my feet.

So far just normal amounts of stupid and icky, I know, could have happened to anybody. In that next second, using a paper towel and the viscosity of the oil to sweep up the shards of glass I somehow managed to jam a slender shiv of brown bottle into the tender flesh between my fuck-off and my ring fingers.

Blood covered in stinky oil swirling down my hand.

And I still had to finish the work because you can't just leave glass and oil and stench marinating your floor tiles.

OK, I could but I know it'd be wrong. Very wrong. Bad wrong. So I didn't.

Fucking conscience.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I Got This From My Mother

Sometimes it takes me a while to really see something.

Once my mom came to a performance of mine. We went out to dinner afterward and she didn't have a lot to say. Five months later at a dinner that had nothing to do with that particular performance she brought it up like we'd just been talking about it and gave me all her feedback.

This morning while walking the park with the pooch I realized that in this post I said proscuitto when lovely Isis actually like pancetta. I felt I had to post a correction.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Stringing Along




no words







and swollen








Friday, September 12, 2008

What I Said

Back in the day Auntie Blanche didn’t hold recitals, she held “piano parties” at the end of each semester in her apartment on High Street. Everyone in attendance had to learn a little music theory and perform their chosen piece before even one cookie or one tiny m&m could be consumed. Worst stage fright ever.

Until today.

This is a pretty big piano party. In that spirit I’d like to ask everyone, at some point today when we’re finished here with this part, to share a story about Auntie Blanche. You can share it with someone you know or someone you don’t know or you can go to the guest book that’s set up online or you can write it on a postcard or any other way you like but please share something and here’s why.

For Auntie Banche’s 85th birthday a group of about twenty of us went to Newick’s for lunch. We had balloons and cake and candles and a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday in a minimum of two part harmony. We drew a little attention is what I’m saying. After she blew out the candles Auntie Blanche said, “Look at all those people looking at us. I bet not one of them guesses that no one here is related to me.”

No one here is either.

If we were, if we were a “regular” family, whatever that might be, then we would tell our stories at birthdays and Thanksgivings and Labor Day cookouts. The stories would be handed down in a fairly linear fashion with the same missteps and embellishments at every re-telling. Here, though, with this family, we are less a line and more an enormous starburst. We’ll leave here today and take our stories in a hundred different directions. You may take something away that only you know and we will each certainly leave without knowing a dozen more stories that are in this room right now.

So, please give someone one of your stories, it doesn’t have to be a big one, and that way we will each leave this place with a tiny bit more to carry on our trajectory.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

This Day Straight Out of the Camera

Then. Now.

Seven years and two days ago I was zinging south along the highways and byways returning to Brooklyn from the interment of my maternal grandmother where I had sung Morning Has Broken.

Seven years ago today or, more probably, seven years ago tomorrow I was hearing a lot of people offer me places to stay and ways to get out of the city for shorter or longer periods of time. Seven years ago right about now pretty much all I could think about was how I was going to get back to Brooklyn. The dog had been scooped up by the Carsick family and taken to their place until I could figure my way across the water. I had called them much earlier, back when it honestly seemed as though it could only be possible that a small private plane had made a grievous error. I was annoyed that because of someone's selfishness and stupidity it was likely going to take me ages to get home. I had no idea.

I didn't want to leave. I was, in fact, afraid to leave. At first it was nearly impossible to get clear information. Were the bridges closed? Could you take a ferry? What about buses? What streets were usable? How bad were the crowds? How far did the evacuation zone extend? Would it extend further or shrink? When? Where are those fighter jets going? This translated, for me, into a feeling that if I left I wouldn't be allowed back in. If I hadn't had a dog I wouldn't even have left my apartment in the early days when the smell of burning concrete, jet fuel and flesh wafted gently across Lafayette Avenue.

The feeling hasn't changed. I vastly prefer to be in the city on the day and, in fact, have not been missing from it yet. So it feels quite dangerous to me to be writing this while I ride in a bus that is leaving New York to head north toward another grandmother's ceremony where, again, I will sing. On the one hand I am looking out the windows and seeing things I wouldn't have seen if I'd gone to work and home again as usual; shoeshine men shooting the breeze on a break, the fashion tents, the 59th Street Bridge, the New York Times Building, kids on the way to and from school, the woman in front of me yelling into her cell phone "New York City is a mess. Is it 9/11?", sunburnt construction workers sitting on steps and leaning out of forklifts, a carefree yet cutthroat teenage basketball game. On the other hand, I'm leaving on this day, before the list of names has been completely read.

On Saturday I'll catch a bus back down the highways and byways and by god, they'd better let me back in.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I hear it's football season and some of you are excited about it. Post high school band I've got one football story. Just one. But since everyone else is writing about football I figure I'll jump on the marching-band wagon.

In the American off-season apparently "America" sends some of its players over to the UK to play in their tiny American Football league. Usually if you need some improvement you find yourself eating fish and chips all summer.

I used to date a guy who grew up with Brad Johnson.

The year that I lived in London was Johnson's 2nd or 3rd with the Vikings. He needed improvement. From even the little I saw of him I can tell you that he had a great arm and good technical skills but his decision making was weak. By the time he decided where he was throwing most of the time he was voicing his decision from the astroturf, flat on his back.

Anyway, guy-I-used-to-date came to London for a summer school program. Guy-I-used-to-date's mother probably made sure to tell us that Brad was playing for the London team. We found this out, of course, with about 3 days to spare before the last game of the season. So we went! We took a train and a bus and walked for a while and I still couldn't show you on a map where the hell we were. They claim we were still in London but I remain skeptical.

American Football in London is odd. The fans are appropriately zealous. They need to keep up their skills while they wait for European Football season to come back around on the guitar. There are cheerleaders, too. Of course in this particular case we had 4 male cheerleaders from the Scottish team dressed in blue tartan kilts and their method of rousing the crowd was to turn their backs and flip up their skirts. I, for one, was roused.

After the show, I mean game, we couldn't leave without telling Brad that a friend from home was there to support him so we made our way to the locker room and explained our errand to a bouncer. We were ushered into a big institutional hallway for the most awkward 15 minutes of my entire year there. Remember that I dated a plumber that year and that I told a classmate that her pregnancy didn't make her look like an alien so I had plenty of awkward to compare it with. Brad stood in the middle of the hall, freshly showered and clad in a towel. Just a towel. Keep in mind that the British have yet to embrace the concept of the "bath sheet." On a professional football player their towels looked like a stolen hotel hand towel. Despite his clear discomfort at standing around that way he carried on a conversation about old times with my ex. We bandied about the idea of having a drink at a later date but Brad was leaving the UK pretty much as soon as he could put some pants on and get on a plane. I guess he'd already seen all the sights.

Finally we left after Brad crossed the corner of nice-to-my-fans and totally-inappropriate. A man came in with his young daughter, she was perhaps 5 years old. The man was clearly smitten with this American Football God and desperately wanted to have his and his daughter's picture made with the deity. I haven't looked up the stats but Johnson is tall, something north of six feet certainly. A five year old is, well, not very tall. So imagine them standing next to each other and a camera zooming in. Hmm, not appropriate. Brad could kneel but for the teensy tiny towel. Eventually there was the world's most cringeworthy back turning, towel re-tying then lifting up of the baby girl and now the proud family has a fabulous shot of their kid, their dad and Brad Johnson's gleaming hairless chest.

I poke fun, yes, but really Brad Johnson is the nicest, kindest, hardest working dude who ever played the game and i still get a charge out of having met him.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

And While We're At It

Who's fucking dumbass idea was it to do this big conspiracy theory super collider end of the world bullshit the day before the anniversary of 9/11? Christ on Craig Ferguson's hairy ass did no one else think about this? I know that everyone is being satirical and funny and all ha ha ha perhaps we'll all die but, you know, given past and present events I'm already riddled with plenty of anxiety. If you'd like some I'd be happy to share and you can just sit on your super collider until next month.

At least.


This may not make any sense. It's going to be a getting something out of my weak ass chest sort of a thing. Read at your own risk. I won't feel slighted if you skip over it, promise.

Sometimes I'm a little harsh. Specifically when people are asked to do something emotional or as a favor or something and they say they "just can't" or "can't deal" or whatever they say. I'm not saying it to be mean. It's simply that I don't understand it and today is an example of why.

For years when I thought, preparing myself, about Auntie Blanche's funeral I thought that I would sing something. I agonized over which thing to sing and came up with a number of choices, some better than others (Selections from Best Little Whorehouse in TX = bad, Handel's Messiah = better). And, yeah, sometimes I practiced them, they were versatile songs, it wasn't like I'd just sing them at a funeral. The more I practiced and the closer we got to the actual funeral the more I realized that choosing to sing at Auntie Blanche's funeral is proof positive that I am crazy as the proverbial shit house rat. Who does that to themselves? Why? What sort of masochistic fuckwad have I become?

So over the course of the last couple of months I thought to myself, "Hey, you know what, you don't have to do this. Yeah, she'd want singing and your singing would be the ultimate tribute but sometimes, you know, sometimes something is just too damn hard. She'd give you a pass if you needed it. Go on. You need it." I made peace with it and felt OK about it and wished I could sing, look forward even to singing the hymns but also felt relieved that I wouldn't have to do the too hard part.

Auntie Blanche requested that the Twenty Third Psalm (Brother James' Air) be sung at her funeral. Today the request came down that I sing it.

Of course I'm going to because, come on, after everything she gave me I can't give her this? Maybe you could say no, maybe a lot of people could, but I don't see how.

All that being true, man, this is going to suck big, hairy donkey balls, you know?

Oh Mighty Isis

Audio Girl has been struggling lately with her cat's declining health. We talked a lot in recent days about options and decisions and feelings and running away to join the circus.
Last night Isis took the decision upon herself and took off for some sort of important mousing/prosciutto situation in the sky.
Please give all your pets extra love and treats today just for their swiftly beating hearts. Please give Audio Girl a moment in your thoughts for her swiftly breaking one.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Bits, Bobs and an Alice

This picture is gorgeous. The times being what they are it made me cry. OK, I'm not even looking at it and just thinking about it is making me cry.

In happier news, Junior Mints ("A low fat candy since 1949") really do cure most ills.

Also, did you know that Broadway's production of Rent closed last night? I knew it was going to happen but I didn't know when until I woke up this morning and heard that it was over.

Speaking of surprises, it turns out I'm supposed to vote tomorrow. Huh. I wondered why my Congressman was performing a full court press to make Kareen Abdul Jabbar envious. I kept thinking, "Dude, we have two whole months to deal with this, stop sending me flyers and letters and delightful young women!" I guess we don't. Whoops. Thanks for the flyers and letters and the girl. I'll get right on that voting thing tomorrow, promise.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Life Isn't All That Fair

Meet Bunny Corona. She needs you.

I've finished processing the shots from my first Infinite Hope shoot and added them to the set. Man these cats are cute. You can find out why Bunny needs you by reading about her over there.


This year has been quite the lesson in the modernization of the funeral industry. Somebody needs to make a reunion movie of Six Feet Under. I like the online guestbook feature, though. If you're interested in an extremely broad sketch of Auntie Blanche's 98 years you can take a look at it here. There are a couple of typos, I did notice them, I'm sure they'll be taken care of soon. That's one of my favorite pictures of her in recent years. The one I'm using here is my very favorite, though, hands down.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Infinitely Hopeful

I hear that when you feel shitty that doing something for someone else can help. So I spent some time today starting to process the photos from the pet adoption web site shoot I did last weekend. I'm maybe a quarter through and I'll keep uploading them to Flickr as I process them so tune back in frequently over the coming days.

This here is Waylon. Waylon is a hoot. He's curious and smart and really gentle about it. He was a trip to watch wandering around the exam room patting and poking every little thing, even the art!

All the cats from this shoot are up for adoption on Infinite Hope's Petfinder site while their dedicated site is under construction. If you don't live in the area Petfinder is a wonderful national resource for adoptable pets of many species. With a lot of companion animals being displaced after recent natural disasters now is as good or better a time as any to get yourself a new friend.

Spay and neuter your pets y'all, we can't take care of all the ones we have here and now. Give them some hope, please.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Buckets of Gratitude

Thank you all so much for the kind words in comments and texts and wall postings and everything else. I appreciate more than I can say all the offers of assistance. At the moment, unless you've got a better idea than that one Buffy episode, there's nothing I really need or can even cop to wanting. Eventually I, and probably ChemE too, will need a ride from and back to Boston but nothing is all that clear right now. Hopefully by Monday we'll have most things settled and I'll know but after all your offers I certainly won't feel bad about asking for help.

I just...well you know, I'm just so sad. And there's nothing that can fix that but it helps to know that you're thinking of us all.

Blanche C. Bailey August 10, 1910 - September 5, 2008

Thursday, September 04, 2008


I've been using an old, beloved SARK book for a coaster on my antique desk. Not very respectful I suppose but I think SARK would be OK with it since having it so close to hand means that I pick it up and read it every so often. Here's what's on the page for today:

realize that avoidance is temporary

Try this: curl into a ball in your bed, and let all the things you're avoiding float over your head. Then, take a nap and let all these things float off. Picture them disappearing. Sometimes when I find myself intensely avoiding something, I can suddenly glimpse that it is all my choice, and that I can really do whatever I want to! Then, I relax and avoid some more. But now, it becomes enjoyable.

...relax into avoidance...

A tall order but speaking directly to me these days that's for sure. What about you?

I'm from NH

Our state motto is Live Free Or Die.

Yeah, there are decent reasons not to wear a helmet sometimes. Yet, here we are with no helmet, no shirt, no gloves and possibly sneakers on his feet, I can't remember. I'm not sure this is what the founding fathers had in mind when they came up with the motto. I'm equally sure that this fine specimen of youth and health will be greatly appreciated by whoever gets his donated organs.

Kidding. I wish him the best of health and I'm sure he rides very carefully.

Learning & Growing

Recently I had my first experience doing a photo shoot with people who requested that the images not be made public on the internet. Not a big deal, right? Right. I mean, its not, really and I do know that. I was surprised, though, by how weirded out it made me over the last week. It's because I go all Capricorn and I make myself do things in order. I can't go off and do a few of my own then go back to the client photos then back to my own or I lose my place. It takes a long time to process all the photos and post them privately (or pubicly, same time investment) 'cause I'm new at this and slow and still learning and my attention span is short. When I post things publicly, though, I get feedback pretty much right away and apparently I'm a whore for feedback. Who knew? Oh, you did? Huh, well, all right then. So two nights ago I finished the private ones (and got great feedback from the clients - THANK YOU!) so last night I worked on a few of my own that I can throw out like chum to you kindly sharks. Hmmm, that metaphor went ... somewhere, didn't it? I feel this immense sense of relief like I've been holding my breath for a week or something. Silly.

On Sunday I did a photoshoot for a pet rescue site and I'm processing those next. Get ready for some serious Cat Blogging folks. Living the dream or living the cliche, you decide.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Turns Out Timing Is Everything

Stealth shot taken while my boss was on the phone sitting right next to me. Tee hee.

Taken to show that I have my watch back! Little Seal put the final nail in my watch band's coffin on the day that Dark Knight came out. I'd been holding it together with spit and prayer up to that point which is pretty ineffective, especially against playful exuberance. At the time I thought, "You should just put this away. You're too tied to the clock. Take a break." I felt all virtuous and good-for-me.

That was over a month ago and, frankly, I've slowly been going completely nucking futs without my watch. I have hobbled along clutching my cell phone or picking brand new spots in dance class so I can see the ineffectual digital clock on the wall but there's no security in that and no subtlety either.

So I trekked over to Central Watch Band (LOVE LOVE LOVE them, could stand there all day and watch them work) and spent a little more money for the perfect watch band, attached while I waited and am now just the itsiest bit giddy about how complete I feel again.

I'm tied to time. It's just the way I am. Love me or leave me. I will note the exact minute of your passing.

For Auntie

Ages ago she requested pictures of me in my little black dress.
I couldn't seem to get the framing or the focus quite right.
But I think you get the gist.
This one's just a bonus 'cause I love the dress.

Niche Market

I'm reading this fabulous book called Lighthousekeeping. It's by Jeannette Winterson whose work I love with every fiber of my being. If you've never read anything by her I can't recommend her enough even though it's intensely odd and may be like nothing you've ever read before. It's almost poetical in its form while also being easy to breeze through and you'll never miss the emotion of it even if you don't have the intellectual capability (as I don't) to catch all the layers. Last night casting about for a bookmark I ended up with a page out of an old day planner that holds pretty much the exact opposite of Winterson's sort of work, quotes from Season 3 of Dawson's Creek.

I record here the quotes I'd felt I needed to write down. I do it mostly for ProfDoc and other DC devotees that might swing by here but you might like them too. They're sweet...mostly.

The boy I know is a deplorable student with the ethics of a Billy Goat.
- Some Teacher Who Hated Pacey

Dawson: Oh my god, look at this picture of me and little Joey Potter. God look at how beautiful she was, even then. We ahd no idea.

Pacey: We must have been deaf, dumb & blind not to notice.

He's no Casanova, he's no pushover, he's my chosen family.
- Random song lyric probably from the soundtrack probably referring to Joey & Pacey

If it came out of nowhere then how come I'm not surprised? You should ask yourself Joey, if this is really nothing then why are you so upset and so confused?
- Not sure but this must be Jen talking Joey off the ledge post roadside kiss

If you give us two minutes I'll give you ten sodas and a box of sugar. What do you say?
- Pacey to his mentee, Buzz, in order to try and get a moment alone to talk to Joey

OK, and here's one that I didn't have on this paper but it's got to be my favorite exchange from the whole series:

Pacey: See this? This is you. It's not showy or gaudy. It's simple. Elegant. Beautiful.
Joey: It's my mom's bracelet.
Pacey: I know.
Joey: How do you know?
Pacey: Well, because you told me. Six months ago. You were wearing that blue sweater with the snowflakes that you have. You were walking down the hallway at school. I was annoying you as per usual. You said, "Look, Pacey, I just found my mother's bracelet this morning, so why don't you cut me some slack?"
Joey: You remember that?
Pacey: I remember everything.

It's ok, go ahead, call me sappy. I can't disagree.