10 Questionable Things

If it's true that we shouldn't be looking for answers but trying to ask the right questions then I figure the more questions we ask the more likely we are to hit on the right ones.

1. Why does Creme Anglais sound so fancy but English Cream just sounds dirty?

2. I asked this of Facebook yesterday but I think it still applies. If, hypothetically, you were being impeached from your big fancy political job in a very windy state would you attend the proceedings or would you fly to New York and talk to Regis & Kelly about hair products? (I have since learned that there is a certain precariously positioned yet impeccably coiffed governor whose staff carries his hair brush around in a special case and refers to it as "The Football." Yes, like the nuclear launch codes. No, I'm not kidding.)

3. Who invented liquid soap and why?

4. Why has my dog been starving herself for months? She'll eat a certain, very small, amount of food out of her dish and then she'll eat almost twice that amount but only if you feed it to her 2-3 pieces at a time by hand. I don't think it's neck pain because she's contorting herself to do other stuff. I don't think it's other pain (legs, teeth) because she'll still eat the kibble. Perhaps she's simply starved for attention. (Aaaaand, as soon as I wrote that this theory got blown out of the water because she turned up her nose [literally] at kibble from my loving fingers so I'm going to have to assume that it's not zebras she's just not hungry.)

5. How come I got out of bed at the same time today as yesterday, took the same shower, applied the same fancy body creme, put on the same robe, used the same deodorant and wound up getting out of the bathroom almost 10 minutes later than yesterday?

6. How come yodeling is so deliciously funny even when it's being lip synced?

7. How come a lot of people don't understand that the clock on the next terrorist attack on US soil started somewhere around 11am on September 11, 2001 not 2 days ago when the wheels were set in motion to close Guantanamo Bay? You guys know it takes a long time to plan one of these things, right? 1993 - 2001? Long time, and they didn't even have to change targets. Now they'll have to change targets, even if it's only another spot in the same city.

8. How come my DVR keeps changing how it does things? Used to be that when you turned it on it was on the same channel you'd left when last you turned it off. Now it always turns on to channel 1. Still, if you changed the channel and were on, say, channel 12 when you started watching a recorded show it'd still be on channel 12 when you stopped watching the recorded show. Now it's back to channel 1 OR, inexplicably, onto a channel that you're recording something else on. I didn't change any settings, to my knowledge. I am confused.

9. Why did I insert a sort of heavy, controversial item (see #7) into a generally light, funny meme? I'm never going to get a ROFL award this way!

10. Is there anything you'd like to ask me? That's what the comments section is for.