Underneath It All

When your dog is 14 the subtext of all veterinary appointments is, "Your dog is old. You're aware that's terminal, right?"

I am, in fact, aware of all of that. I understand that the answer may be that I need to buy a case of hot dogs and hand feed them to my dog. I'm OK with that. She deserves at least that. I just want to make sure there's not something else to do before I resort to that.

For now she's getting $145 worth of blood work (along with the other charges) to be certain there isn't any permanent damage from her UT/bladder/kidney/something or other infection at the beginning of the year or anything else going on (if she is riddled with cancer the blood work would tip us off). She's also got an appetite enhancer and will be going on an anti-inflammatory, we'll work for it to be the lowest effective dose to minimize wear on kidneys and liver.

The examination showed no palpable tumors or obvious reason for loss of appetite but that she's lost almost 7lbs since May. She's had one appetite enhancer pill and I may be frightened to sleep, she might lick all the nutrients off my skin while I'm out. She's fuckin' hungry y'all. Kath suggested I double check since some veterinary appetite enhancers can cause nausea in pets. I did some research, though, and it's actually also used to reduce nausea and vomiting. It is used in humans as an anti-depressant while it also "communicate[s] with the vomit center of the brain" in a good way. I've given her extra kibble and some gravy and all her food is gone and she's had treats and she just keeps coming over and standing next to me like she'd eat a finger if I'd just stop using it to type and give it up for a good cause already. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at all worried. It's been a long motherfucking day. Work was long and I came straight home and spent time at the vet then went out to celebrate the launch of the PUPS web site and got home just a little bit ago so I'm overtired and thrown off by this throwback version of HUNGRY Emily. I am encouraged that the Myrtazapine worked so quickly, though, and glad to know that there's a plan of action and some science is being perpetrated in the name of getting even some marginally definitive answers. So, you know, don't stand down on those good thoughts and wishes yet but you should be aware that whatever you've tossed over the fence thus far has been put to good use. I promise.

Nighty night.