For'rd 'n Back

Weeks ago, because I had access to a vehicle, I bought some furniture. It requires assembly. A week or so after I acquired it I tried to put it together and found that safety dictates more than one person be present while wielding the pressboard. I've had a hard time getting that help. It'll come but we're all busy, I get that.

In the mean time I've gone into this foolish brain spiral. I've decided that this furniture will render my entire life clean and organized. (It won't.) Since it isn't assembled then any effort to tidy, clean or organize will be useless because the furniture is the key to the solution. (It won't.) So I've been living in a place with boxes of flattened furniture propped up everywhere and everyday detritus collecting around it. Some people would be so frustrated by this they would put it all together themselves in one go. I am not some people. Most of the time I hardly see it. If it can't be helped then why look?

Alex came over last night and helped out a lot. Unfortunately time got away from us and we didn't have one tool (a drill) so we didn't manage to completely finish even one item. We came close, we worked hard, we did much but we didn't finish. We also discovered that, while my measurement was correct from the wall to the closet door I failed to take the radiator into account. (Stupid!) So I'm going to have to rethink where everything is going to go. (Maybe I'll buy yet another bookcase. Then I'll really be organized.)

I could describe the result to you in detail but it wouldn't make much sense. My bedroom looks like I just moved in. Items stacked on top of and in front of other items all willy nilly. The cats are thrilled to climb the new configurations, leering down at me from their fledgling vulture perches. It's likely to stay that way for a while since the next step will be me finding both a drill and the courage to use it. (Given how I forgot the radiator I'm petrified to drill the holes for the handles on the drawers.)

It's days like this that I say to myself, "What is wrong with your brain?" Then I comfort, "Just one thing at a time, that's all you can do." "There's too much space between your one things!" "I'm sick." "Not that sick!" "Fuck you, you fucking fuck."

And so it goes.