Thursday, August 12, 2010

Little Seeds Are Sown

I must reiterate that my geography is terrible. It wasn't until I actually visited Oregon and then Washington that I was able to accurately remember which was north of the other. I think it's because my mind works like a a Viewmaster instead of a movie. I can't see the connections just *shashink!* goes the lever and the next picture appears, completely disembodied from what's fore and aft. So today, bless the internet, I took a long, hard look at a map of California trying to determine where San Diego hangs out usually. I will not tell you how long it took me to find it. Not even if you ply me with chocolate.

It's near Mexico! It's relatively near Los Angeles. I know where Santa Barbara is so now I know where the people of Psych are pretending to be! I saw the little star for Santa Cruz and thought of Naked Jen. I spent a while today staring intently at the map and scrolling around on it and planning a tour of the entire state of California to visit everyone and everything I've ever wanted to see there. It's possible my heart thinks that if I see enough people while I'm there it will justify the fact that the impetus for my going is BlogHer '11. Why does my heart need me to justify it? I don't know and it won't tell me. My heart is one hell of a close-mouthed motherfucker.

But while I'm thinking about the whole exciting idea I wanted to share with you a short play inspired by JRH's comment on this post. (That's her in the photo.)

Scene: BlogHer '11, a party. Two bloggers, ME and SOME OTHER BLOGGER, meet over a tray of canapes.

ME: Hi, I'm Kizz!

SOME OTHER BLOGGER: Hi , I'm [insert catchy nickname coupled with swank real name].

ME: How's your weekend been so far?

SOB: Fun. Overwhelming. Really good. I can't believe it. You?

ME: Exactly the same. [THEY accost another passing tray of appetizers] So, what kind of blogging do you do?

SOB: I have a personal blog where I talk about my life in [insert exotic locale] and my husband who [insert intriguing profession] and what it was like growing up in a family of [insert quirky background statistics].

ME: That sounds so interesting. Do you have a card?

SOB: I've got one here somewhere. Can you hold this, please? [SOB hands ME her wine glass, begins digging in her purse] What kind of blogging do you do?

ME: Oh I do Dead Pet Blogging.

SOB: Pardon?

ME: [a little louder] Dead Pet Blogging.

SOB: I'm sorry, the acoustics in here are terrible. What kind of pets again?

ME: Dead ones. Dead pets. Pets who have died.

SOB: Well...isn't that....unique.

ME: It's important to me and no one else is doing it, that's for sure. Surprising as it sounds, though, there's a niche for it. Did you find that card?

SOB: [snatching at wine glass] You know, I seem to be all out.

ME: Let me give you one of mine and we can find each other that way!

SOB: Oh my, there's [insert name of superstar blogger] you don't mind if I just grab this chance to meet her, do you?

ME: [quietly] Absolutely not.


That poor SOB.



    That's Laughing Out Loud So Hard My Tiara Fell Off.

  2. You guys are like a blogger's Abbott & Costello this week. You're cracking me up and should probably take your show on the road!

  3. You are one funny playwright, Ms Kizz.