Monday, September 13, 2010

Down Doobie Doo Down Down

As of 7:30 this morning I wasn't having a good day.

The dog had barked too much and the walk was damp and post-rainy and he was inexplicably snarling at a delightful golden retriever and when I got angry with him he got snippy with me proving that angry training is training you do not want but I wanted to be angry and...ROAR.

Let's go back. Eddie was wonderful all weekend. He played well with others, he didn't make nice with the cats but nice things happened. He got new toys. He rode happily in a bag on the city bus and while I walked around the Brooklyn Book Fair. He perfected the ability to sit when asked and improved in the area of coming when called. He slept on my lap and and even, very occasionally, walked on a slack leash. I'll tell you why he did, too. Because I never left him. I had one thing to do in Manhattan on Friday and it got canceled when I was about two blocks away. During the time I was traveling there and back the dog walker came. On Saturday the one thing I had scheduled to do was meet a friend and she chose to meet me at the park during off leash time because she is apparently half angel. As a result Mr. Ed was out and about in the 'hood for 3 hours before he even had breakfast. He got a longish walk in the evening and plenty of play inside and company came over and scritched him to his heart's content. On Sunday, just because we met a lot of people and stopped to talk to them, we were out for 2 hours before breakfast. Then I tried to take him to brunch but it was threatening to rain so they didn't have outside tables. He went home for a short bit while I ate then I picked him up. I took him on the bus, I kept him in his traveling bag while I checked out the fair, I let him walk back to the bus stop, he began to shiver violently with cold thus turning me into someone who is actually going to put a rain coat on her dog, we stopped by Kath & Alex's where much playing was done with the cats and with Bobby then we walked home where he basically slept until it was time to go out for a quick pee and bed. He was so tired he didn't even blow me shit when I made him wait until I was dressed to get out of the crate this morning.

He was good because he got a lot of exercise but also because he had a lot of company. He really doesn't like to be alone. But in order to pay for his bed and board ($9 per day, 5 days a week for a 15 minute walk, you do the math [and I'm not complaining, it's the best deal in the neighborhood and they're great to my dog as they were to his predecessor]) someone has to go to work and until his film career takes off it looks like I'm on tap for that. So he's going to be alone. And I'm going to be getting up early, staying up late and walking a lot in between. I don't function well on medium to small amounts of sleep. I can't see the big picture. Mostly because my eyes swell shut with fatigue.

I'm beginning to think it's like being a grandmother and suddenly finding yourself raising your toddler grandchild. I was used to an old, staid dog. She, too, enjoyed a solid 12 hours of sleep per night and had developed the constitution to manage it. She didn't feel the need to talk to every stranger on the street because she had plenty of friends and she knew how to sit at every corner and liked it when that was all it took to make me happy. Also, I didn't have to bend over to scratch her ears.

I haven't forgotten what it was like when she was younger. I know that she was stupid and so was I and I vividly remember days when I screamed and yelled at her in regrettable ways because neither of us knew what in holy hell we were doing. So I'm not surprised that I'm tired and cranky and not at my best. I'm not surprised that this little, energetic ball of terrier brain goo is...challenging on some days and demanding on others. I'm just not very happy that today is one of those days.

And tomorrow is the first session of our dog training course. The first session is humans only. Which means that the dog will be alone all day while I'm at work, save his short dog walk, then I'll walk him briefly because I have to commute to the class and then he'll be alone until I get home just before bed time. He's going to be so delighted by that kind of day. I wonder if he'll give me a pass on it when I explain that it's so he can go to dog school and learn to be allowed off leash and eventually how to run to the deli for milk without me. Probably not.

In case you think I'm a great green meanie for not mentioning the cats lately and how their weekend went I'll share that I can't sit in my living room because I'm fumigating the couch and I hope my new health insurance kicks in because I'm not sure I cleaned the deep, bloody furrows running from my belly button to my neck thoroughly enough. So, perhaps the less said about those cats today the better.

How are your pets?


  1. Oh, but wouldja jus wook at how cute he is. Wove him wove him woof woof woof.

  2. Anonymous2:09 PM

    I feel your pain,
    Yes 1 elderly dog, 3 cats & everyone needs to go potty at a different time. Preferably from 2:30 am to 5:30 am when I have to get up to leave for work.... I get to sleep from 10-2:30 then I catnap get it? sigh - yes I've done the yelling too. I am not a good dog person. Much better with cats.
    sorry for your temporary discomfort in the sleep dept. it should improve relatively soon.
    kl crab

  3. Stormy was trying to eat Kikimama this morning which resulted in her clearing off every picture off the top of the piano. nice. but the weather has cooled a bit and they're taking naps and enjoying it.

    i expect the good behavior will cease just as the new roomie moves in. Please God, don't let it be too messy.

  4. Hooper has learned the down command really well. Yeah, we slacked big time on the whole training thing. Actually he has us more trained the we have him.

  5. My dog - an 11 year old lab - decided she wanted to be a mule today - as in stubborn as a mule - she only wanted to walk the direction SHE wanted to go in - she didn't care it was raining, that I was hungry for dinner. SHE wanted to go the LONG way around! LOL. She is great and old and grumpy and GREAT!

  6. You could park Mr. Ed with me tomorrow while you go to dog training - I'm around and have some experience fatiguing those inexhaustible canines. Or maybe it's mostly been luck.