Sunday, March 27, 2011

At Least It's Ambitious

You know how you're just going along and something suddenly manages to tip the scales and you're either really happy or undeniably sad? I collected my taxes today. It was like the Failed Ambition Tour 2010. (A bit like Madonna's Blonde Ambition Tour but with less pointy bras and abysmal ticket sales.) Did you make money acting? No. Writing? Um, no. Singing? Sorry, no. What about the picture taking? Well, no but I donated my work to some people for very good reasons. What did you make money at? know, answering the phone and making calls no one else wanted to make and sending the mail out and stuff. You know?

Hey, I have a job and I'm glad of it. I know I'm lucky and I'm not complaining per se but there's nothing like having to evaluate a whole year to remind you that sometimes you don't exactly work yourself to the bone. I am now at the point where the view of 2010 leaves me with a list as long as my arm, your arm and the arms of 100 of your closest friends laid end to end to end to end to end (you're welcome for the bedtime vision of severed arms) of things that, if executed well and in proper order, will yield world domination. Of course that means it's a list so long and so disordered that I despair of doing even one item. 

So then I worked with my dog and his skateboard. We also learned that if you tell him to "back up" he will run away and bark at the door. If you gently tell him to "reverse" he will back up. He's a funny boy. And I watched the series finale of Big Love and it made me sob and sob and sob. (Dear Chloe Sevigny, I love you!) Then I folded laundry and processed some photographs and tried to remember...something.

Going to put those taxes in an envelope, pay a credit card bill, have a cakeball and sleep so I can try again tomorrow. That will work.

Won't it?


  1. Any day that involves a cakeball at the end of it sounds like a day that wasn't so bad after all.

    What's a cakeball?

  2. You bake a cake, crumble it up, mix it with frosting, form it into balls and dip them in chocolate. Extra decorations optional.

  3. Trying again tomorrow definitely works. I'm gonna do it, too.

  4. The cakeball certainly can't hurt.

  5. Don't despair, Kizz. I like to make a list of things I accomplish each day and check them off. Makes me feel like I am actually getting stuff done, even if it's just little stuff. It's good to have big goals and ambitions, but getting small stuff done also counts!

  6. I'm right there with you, though taxes (still undone, for entirely too many years) didn't inspire it. Big chat with the man last night about what we're really trying to accomplish here. Feels like a big old hamster wheel most of the time. I had peanut butter newman's o's to soak up some of my angst :). Trying is all we can do, and some days it does more than others.