Uterus, Utera, Uterati, Uteri

1. Friday is Poem in Your Pocket Day. What are you going to put in there? I'm wavering between some Parker, an Eliot fave or some Silverstein.

2. Part of me doesn't want to be seen as the kind of person who dresses her pets up in silly costumes. Another part of me is pleased that Schmutzie/Aiming Low/HP have given me a whole new way to get back at my pets when they act like dillweeds.

3. I would like everyone who has ever undertipped a server to read this post by Aunt Becky. If you can't manage to read the whole thing skip down to the paragraph that explains how tiny her check was before they charged her 10 cents per hour for meals.

4. What are you doing April 30 from 4-6pm? Want to come to a creative inspiration event starring an old college friend of mine? I'm excited for it.

5. I decided definitively that 2 dogs was too much for me to handle. I need to be able to walk a dog and answer the phone. The day after I decided that I had a strong urge to bring my canine total up to 3 because these dogs look so awesome. They already don't mind playing dress up!

6. I did not know the origins of a lot of these nursery rhymes. Very interesting.

7. Here is an event I should not under any circumstances attend. The only way it could be worse for me is if you had to sit in chairs made of live snakes during the performance.

8. In addition to a poem in my pocket I think I'm going to keep a copy of this post handy. Any time a non-blogger/non-social media enthusiast throws a well-meant stinkeye at me for what I do here I'm just going to hand them a copy of this. If it's good enough for this woman, it's good enough for me.

9. To everyone who has said that I am an over reactor about women's issues (No, seriously, "[I'd] be hot if [I] got over [my] self-loathing?" I think you've got my loathing pointed in the wrong direction, young man. Careful or it'll go off!) I want to just quietly remind you that Florida House of Representatives thinks that "uterus" qualifies as inappropriate language to be used in mixed company, like their workplace. Don't say bicep, y'all, or they will check your papers!

10. I sure didn't mean to end on two serious notes but I think it's....worth noting that the recent...er...disrespect of collective bargaining by the GOP has typically conservative civil servants like firefighters and police officers rethinking where they will apply their support.

OK, now someone say something funny.