Between 10 And 2

I know it's Tuesday. I've known it all day. I don't have the wherewithal for 10 Things, though. Let me share a couple of real, honest-to-goodness conversations I had today.

1. I followed a woman across the courtyard and into my building. She fumbled with the key and then dropped something and pushed it around with her toe before bending to pick it up and getting out of the doorway so I could pass.

I live directly above the laundry room. The door to that is right next to the main entrance.

Once Mrs. Fumblefingers and I got into the lobby she looked out at a woman sitting on a bench in the courtyard. As I got my mail she said, "Why she doing her clothes out there like that?"

I've run into plenty of people not cooking with a full set of utensils so I, still trying to be neighborly, replied, "It's hot out and there's more room. Some people just like that." I anticipated a short rant about pollen and chalk dust on khakis.

"I've got clients coming."

You see, my building may look like the gulag circa 1982 but the units go for top dollar and the neighborhood is getting swankier by the second. Doesn't change the fact that the halls are painted with government surplus paint and the elevator routinely sticks between floors and that 8 years ago a contractor sledgehammered through the beautiful marble baseboard and it's never been fixed. So I went for it because, frankly, I don't need any new neighbors.

"Once they get into this lobby you're going to lose 'em anyway so she won't do you any harm."

2. When I first got Eddie and was doing off leash for the first time in ages (not necessarily well) I used to run into this lovely young mother and her stroller-sized boy exercising their shepherdy/houndy mix, Bliss. I hadn't seen them in a while but schedules have changed now that my dog is actually off leash.

This weekend I ran into a knot of folks with strollers and dogs on one of my mornings in the park. One lady had a hilariously rolly poly labby/pitty puppy named Serendipity. She called Eddie by name and her voice sounded wildly familiar but I was focused on getting out of there before my dog started barking the Gettysburg Address.

Two days later the penny dropped and I remembered the woman I last saw bundled in her winter gear chasing her leggy hound across the field. I let Eddie choose our route this evening and by chance we ran into the woman again and I was able to explain to her that I just hadn't made the connection. Knowing there wasn't any good way to go about it I jumped in, "Where is Bliss?"

"She's in heaven." she replied quite matter-of-factly.

She was having long seizures that were changing her personality and it was finally kinder to let her go. They've had Serendipity for almost a month.

So in honor of Bliss, cut down before she even turned two, treats for everyone, please.

Nearer Perfection

Lately I have actively been loving my dog. For all his cons (stubborn, barky, cat chaser) he has a lot of pros (snuggly, loyal, friendly). As he's gotten used to our life more things come to light. Whenever I stop on the street to talk to someone or root around in my bag or take a picture he sniffs for a few moments then waits patiently on a slack leash. This makes him, frankly, about the perfect photographer's dog.

Today I had my camera with me while we walked and I realized it was a perfect chance to get something for the Aiming Low photo challenge this week. They are much stricter than I am. You have to take your shot in the week of the challenge. The prompt was "April Showers Bring May Flowers" so I toured the neighborhood snapping nice but kind of boring pictures. Turning the corner toward home I saw a lowly dandelion and thought, "Well, no one will share one of those." The dog loitered quite nearby. I still felt the shot was kind of boring so, just for fun, I called him over and had him sit. While I fiddled with a setting and framed a shot he did his thing. After 4 or 5 clicks of the shutter he did this all on his own.

Perfect photographer's dog.

One Person's Fun

Not sure I can express how thrilled I am about this holiday weekend. I feel like I'm just swan diving into it. Today was the one day I really don't have anything to specific to do. I have taken full advantage.

Fortunately one of the things I wanted to do was process photos. I finally worked on a set of shots from the April 3 session with Carolann. We had a good time that day and, if you don't look at any of the rest of us in the pictures you can't even tell how frigidly cold it was.

Volume Knob

I alluded to an aha moment the other day. Let me elaborate.

I have been studying singing again. Ever since Jay died it's been hard to get the gumption. He was such a great match for what I needed that I despaired of finding anyone else. Not to mention missing the ever-loving hell out of him. Almost two years ago a friend, who had been recommending her singing coach to me for ages, finally snapped and said, "Here is your birthday present. It is a lesson with my teacher. Use it." And she followed up time after time until finally a few months ago she said, "Would it help if I made the appointment for you?" It did. A lot.

And this teacher has been wildly generous not only with her talent but her time and her policies as well. We didn't see each other for a few weeks because of my funereal traveling and when we got back together she gave me the gift of an extra session to get us back on track. On my way out of the lesson I had the aforementioned revelation.

Good things come from my singing. When I plan to sing people come to hear it (lots of people), they offer their voices and instruments and time. Jay undercharged me routinely and music directed for my shows and produced two songs for my CD for no extra fee. My first singing teacher in NYC would go as much as an hour over our scheduled time so we could get more done. Carolann and Mark have spent hours rehearsing and have, more than once, driven great distances to allow me to pretend I have my very own band. Alex has gifted me with recording time, space and expertise among other musical things.

And it's happening again. Julie felt I needed to be singing so strongly that she made the appointment for me. Elynn is exactly who I need. At the same time Julie was making my appointment I also won a session with another coach at a benefit for Audio Girl. All signs point to SING.

I'm only just noticing this.

Sometimes I'm a little slow.

Last night I got up in front of people and sang for the first time in a number of years. I think the last time was at Auntie Blanche's funeral. Carolann runs an open mic at the Christopher Street Coffee House once a month. I've never sung at an open mic before but I really just wanted to get up, sing one song and go to a corner to think about it. That's what you do at open mics, right? Turns out that you can do that but it's not exactly how things usually go. It's OK, next time I can do it the way they expect.

Even there when I sang good things happened. Many of the attendees are songwriters singing their own songs. I explained that I was doing another person's work but couldn't remember the woman's name. Immediately a man gave me her name, Annie Dinerman. Later another man spoke of her to me and gave me a qualified compliment. I found out by the end of the night that he rarely gives out any kind of compliment so I should treasure it. I thanked another performer for his work and he said, "You too, you should sing more." Finally, an old friend who happened to be open micing it, too, offered to accompany me on his guitar if and when I'm ready for that.

If I was looking for confirmation that I was right about needing to be singing I should look no further. So, I'll sing. And, after today's lesson, apparently I'll be singing some things that are challenging for me. I might even be songwriting (NOOOOOOOO!) Watch this space. Soon I might ask you to turn the volume up.

Photos: 1. Carolann's new CD (available June 1) which I received in the mail today. I took the photos for the packaging. 2. My celebratory meal after last night's open mic.

Photo Challenge: HELLO/GOODBYE

Results of the HELLO/GOODBYE challenge are here. Huzzah! (I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones.)

Elephant Soap recently moved her whole life to a new state. This is a photo of her moving her heart, I mean, scooter.

I could not love the look on herm007/Bethany's face in this picture any more. Could you?

Fondofsnape submitted three fantastic shots. There was another one that, thematically, I felt pressured to choose but this one, this look, this wonderful pup won out.

And on this day I said hello to a camera problem I never anticipated and goodbye to this battery...except that it's still sitting on my dining table waiting to be discarded. (Are there rules for lithium batteries?)

Now I'm supposed to have chosen a clever new prompt. Aha! Here's one: WANT/NEED. Whatever that means to you just go for it. No one needs to understand your interpretation but you, though we'd be happy to hear about your process.

Please submit photos to our Flickr Pool by 9am Tuesday June 7th for posting on Wednesday June 8. Any questions you can hit me here in the comments. Can't wait to see what you come up with.

Quick Hit: Sending Love

I'm sure you've heard about the frightening tornado action around Oklahoma today. Our good friend, Gert's, parents lost their house and are currently searching for a beloved cat and sheltie dog. Everyone is, understandably freaked out, the animals have been sighted but so far haven't been brought back into the fold. Any reunion vibes you can send will help, I'm sure.

Stay safe, y'all.

No, You Do It!

I'm about to go at something all half-assed. You have been warned.

Yesterday I learned about a contest for artists and I think I'd like to enter my photography. The guidelines say that you need to submit 10 photographs from a body of work. I can't even decide on a body of work. In case you hadn't guessed, your part in this is coming right up.

I narrowed it down to two bodies. Either my China trip or my animal photography so, if you would be so kind, pick one of those.

THEN (there's always a second step) pick 10 photos from the body you chose and tell me which ones they are. This is the half assed part. Ideally you would comment with links or send me an email or something but that is, I believe the official term is, a shit ton of work for you. So maybe you could put the numbers 1-10 into the comments of 10 photographs. Does that make sense?

Let's try again. Say, you're minding your own business, browsing my Flickr and you come across one that you think should be included. You hit the comment field with, "This is my #1." Then you browse until you like another one. Give that, "This is my #2." And so on until, ideally, you get up to 10.

Because it's 10 Things Tuesday.

And now I've gotten you to do two jobs that I'm not prepared for, my 10 Things Tuesday list and my contest portfolio.

Thanks!

Milk of Human Kindness

My momentum has not yet returned, at least not at full strength. The rage has not yet dissipated completely and leaks out all over the joint when least required. The need for momentum and impetus and action has, of course, not diminished, either. If anything it has increased.

I really appreciated all your suggestions and have kept them rolling around in my head all week as I try to just keep doing what I can and not being too hard on anyone. I credit that discussion with how nicely my Friday went. Due to circumstances beyond my control I hadn't been to a voice lesson in about a month. Due to lack of momentum I hadn't prepared as much as I felt I ought to. I knew I wouldn't get into trouble for it and I knew I could wing it with ease but I still felt nervous about going back. While my teacher is welcoming and creates a safe space for exploration she challenges me and knows exactly the tasks that stretch me the most. I wasn't sure I had the emotional wherewithal to stretch or meet challenges.

Halfway down the block on the way to the subway I had a realization that this lesson was for me. (I am brilliant, no? Let me explain.) This was a situation where I was, at the core, paying someone to take care of me. It follows then that it's OK for me to go to that place and ask for the care I needed and not feel bad about it. So I did. And it went really well. And she sent me home with a lot of homework that seems suddenly quite daunting but I know is right.

Halfway down the block to the return subway I had another realization. This time it was about my singing and it's something I think I'll share later.

The caretaking revelation has stayed with me for a while and has, I think, touched off a recognition of other things. Today, for instance, I was browsing through news blogs and saw a photograph of Harvey Milk as this would have been his 81st birthday. I was struck by how handsome I think he is. He is not quite as goofy as Sean Penn portrayed him. Or maybe he is but that honest look in his eye casts a different light in the photos. I wish he were still here.

He's not and there's nothing to be done about that. There are plenty of other things to be done, however, and Milk's 81st birthday seems as good a time as any to do some. Another spectacular person, loving dog chick and friend to this blog, Sueb0b, is going to turn 50 in a few weeks. She has decided to...well, she says it better:

"...because I feel so blessed and have pretty much everything I could ever need, I am asking people to get involved with charities, if they are so inspired, in honor of my birthday. And in honor of caring, humanity and all that good stuff. I am featuring a different charity every day for 50 days leading up to my birthday to give you plenty of chances to get involved. I started on May 18. I wanted to give a voice to different good works around the globe. If you ARE inspired to take action, please leave me a comment and let me know that you did. This is all I want for my birthday – to spread some love and kindness."

Today, while catching up on blog reading that stacked up over the weekend I flagged two of SB's recommended charities that spoke to me. Firstly, there's Write Girl, a California-based organization arming girls with communication skills that spring board them into the rest of their lives. It values all kinds of writing and believes in expanding the experience of students rather than narrowing it. It's a concept so simple and so roundly ignored these days that it brings tears to my eyes.

Secondly, there's a group called Accelerated Cure for MS. I have one specific personal connection to MS and a few tangential ones. One of the more frustrating things about it is that it is, arguably, not a direct diagnosis but one that one comes to when enough other things have been ruled out. We don't know nearly enough about it to combat it properly. Accelerated Cure is fighting to collect more data and have findings more widely distributed. I know it doesn't seem like much of a scientific breakthrough to be in favor of shared results and interaction between researchers but, if you do even the tiniest bit of reading, you know that's really not the way scientific research (and, more motivationally, its funding) works here.

Despite not feeling like doing much to save myself I do want to boost these organizations both on their own merits and to honor Sueb0b and her generous idea. These might be the two you like. You might like another one she's already talked about or you might want to keep reading for the rest of the 50 days (and beyond!). I'm sure you'll be inspired before the candles are lit on her cake.

Divide, Conquer, Devour

In order to go to any well-attended food event you really need to have a group of enthusiasts, strongly committed to new tastes. You should arrive early, assess the offerings and make a plan of attack. Which lines are shortest? Which foods will you regret not sampling? Which foods are easy to eat in line and which will be better eaten sitting down away from the vendors? Now, ideally you will have enough people to put two in each line so you can do some actual socializing. If you don't have that luxury you can either divide and conquer lines of comparable length or put one person in a long line and send the other on forays to things with shorter lines. The second person will come back with their scores to share while the first person continues to hold firm. Cell phones are the greatest inventions for food events since, you know, food. If you get up to the front of the line and there have been menu changes you can call. If there are questions about what an order was or if you hear a rumor about a vendor running out of food or restocking then you can pass that info along and change the master plan as required without ceding your line spot until necessary. You don't want to waste 45 minutes of waiting and have to go to the back of the line.

The one important thing you do not want at such an event is a killjoy. For instance, someone who is going to complain about waiting in line or who has a lot of dietary restrictions or who, like the woman a few feet behind me in the falafel line today berates the guys busting their asses to serve us for a menu problem. The joint was packed, we'd waited for over 30 minutes for our food, the guys were super nice and a little baffled by how many people wanted their food and they had run out of fries. This bitch decided to give them a piece of her mind. Don't let your group have one of those in it. Ever.

Today, I had none of these luxuries. It was just me and Ed at a food truck rally on the edge of Prospect Park. I may have told you about the rally I went to last September on Governors Island. That event was a true clusterfuck organizationally. Food ran out, lines were hours long and everyone was super cranky. Today's fest had the advantage of not being on an island so reinforcements could be sent and restocking could occur. The organizers have still not worked out, though, that you need to make provisions for long lines. Planning ahead for how the lines will work out if the event gets a great turnout could reduce confusion and therefore frustration. A couple of signs, perhaps the odd barrier or stanchion and I think you might see some happier patrons.

All that aside, though, here's what I did. My first mistake was not to go right as it opened at 11. I wound up getting there around 1 and it was like a field of cattle. Everyone was hungry and lost and desperate for direction. I think I actually heard someone moo. I waded in and took a quick tour to see who was there. Coolhaus, Taim, Cupcake Truck, Mud Truck, Kelvin Natural Slush, Eddie's Pizza, The Treats Truck, The Rickshaw Dumpling Truck, Red Hook Lobster, a Souvlaki truck I don't know the name of and a couple of ice cream and frozen yogurt trucks I didn't know either.

At that point I was hungry and just as confused as everyone else so I just grabbed a spot in a line. I thought it was for pizza but it turned out to be for dumplings. Just as it was at the last rally, the lobster truck and the dumpling truck competed for most customers served. Within moments of getting in line I heard that Rickshaw was sending in another truck. Smart. The best thing about being in that line is that I had a place and a reason to stand still and observe the crowd and make some decisions based on the questions above.

I knew from experience that the dumpling line can go slowly because the steaming takes time. I saw that The Treats Truck line was very short (if your food is pre-made you can serve people more quickly). The slushie truck was relatively short. I wanted pizza. I wanted an ice cream sandwich. I wanted to take something home from the Treats Truck. I needed savory food. I'd had the dumplings before. I wanted to try new things. I would most regret, despite the cold temps, not getting a slushie. New plan.

Slushie. Treats Truck. Falafel. Maybe an ice cream sandwich depending on time and energy.

Put my plan into action. The slushie was probably a 20 minute wait but, of all the things I ate today, and I liked them all, the best thing I put in my mouth. You get a base of Ginger, Citrus or Tea. You add one of a bunch of other things, mostly fruits, some herbs, and for some extra dough you can add more than one. I got ginger with pink guava. Delish!

Next, Treats Truck line was 10 minutes, maybe 15. Got a rice krispie square and 2 coconut & chocolate chip thingees. Grabbed a bite of one of the latter as sustenance and hoofed it to the falafel line.

Had to follow it all the way from the front of the truck. It didn't look more than twice as long as the slushie line. You have to cook falafel. You don't have to cook slushies. It took a little longer. If I'm honest I was probably in that line for 45 minutes and then had to wait 10 or so for my order to be ready. In the line, though, I heard some fabulous rumors, that I think are true. The cupcake truck ran out of cupcakes but sent another truck to restock them. People started to line up before the restock truck even arrived. The pizza line was an hour long to order and then an hour before your pizza was ready. Good thing I didn't wait there. I saw with my own eyes that the ice cream sandwich line was way, way too long for the amount of energy I had left.

Let me stop for a moment to say that I also wound up carrying my dog for most of the time I waited in lines. There were so many people and dogs and it was cold and he was melting down a little. Tomorrow I will probably be unable to lift my arms high enough to wash my hair. He was very good, though, and a people magnet. People thought he was so cute and sweet and could they please please pet him. So, you know, he didn't make out too badly. And he got a 30 minute walk each way, too.

Got myself the falafel with everything which included some kind of Israeli salad and a kind of sweet sauce that took it one step above good to delirious. Loved it. And the fun guy taking orders upsold me a ginger-mint lemonade when I found out they were out of fries. If I had unlimited access to delicious fruity, herby liquids like I had today I would be so much better hydrated. Drank that all the way home.

All in all it was a successful trip. I knew enough not to try and get everything. I planned and thereby reduced disappointment. I ate marvelous food and drank fabulous drinks. I walked a lot and, praise Jeebus, I tired out my dog. 'Twas an awesome excursion. If you fit the bill described in the first paragraph you should join me next time. I could do great things with a wingman...wingwoman....wing....eater?

Camera Envy

Some day I will have an iPhone camera and with it I will have fun. Until then I will piggyback on the technology of friends.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: Eva <evapinney@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 20 May 2011 17:33:22
To: Kizzy<kizzbeth@mac.com>
Subject: Camera Envy

Assvice, Please

You know when you just....lose your momentum? How do you personal help yourself get it back?

NWW: Happier Times

During this meal I kept eagerly heading for each dish as soon as it hit the table only to have my companions cry, "Picture! Picture first!" It was so good that even as the official documentary photographer of our trip I kept forgetting to document in favor of jamming my gullet full of these treasures. I have been telling people about this meal since the moment I landed back in the States from China. Finally I am getting to post the pictures and ask you to apply your expertise. You might want to go check them out on Flickr (links below) and view them large to get the details.

The photo above is an egg dish. Hard boiled sort of eggs but they taste like bacon and eggs in your mouth all at once. I'm about to weep with the glory of the memory. Below is a vegetable. I know it looks like noodles, or when you get closer perhaps like very tall mushrooms, but I am assured (by Mr. Li and he wouldn't lead us astray) that they are a vegetable. They are slightly crunchy like a gently steamed sprout maybe. No amount of googling led me to a name.

To sum up, my questions are two. 1. How do they make those eggs taste like that? 2. What is that veggie? Thank you for your assistance.

Egg dish photo
Vegetable photo
China Food set of photos
Collection of all China trip photos

Belief System

1. I believe that customer service representatives should be given the power to truly serve customers. Tears should not be the password for even the most minimal assistance. (Especially when the fault is not with the customer but the "system.")

2. I believe that inside the nervous, mouthy, reactive coating of my dog there is a good dog who fights, exorcist-style - ever day to emerge. I haven't kept score but I believe the win percentage is about 50% thus far.

3. I believe I will be singing at an open mic at the Christopher Street Coffeehouse on May 26. I am equal parts excited and terrified. Much like the previous item it's going to be a gladiatorial fight between the two.

4. I believe that Chronicle Books is all things bright and beautiful. My most recent evidence is receiving a kind and much-needed pick-me-up note from Misti the other day. The photo on the card struck just the right tone so I flipped it over to see where it was from. Chronicle Books strikes again.

5. I believe that the new version of Firefox does not have all the bugs worked out of it yet. This is making my week go very slowly and confusingly.

6. I believe that the folks offering to care for your animals after you are raptured (for a small fee) do not have your best interests at heart. However, I don't completely blame them for going for it.

7. I believe that heaven (if it exists) will have an unlimited supply of new Dorothy Dunnett books. On a related note, I hope that Ms. Dunnett's idea of heaven involves a whole lot of writing.

8. I believe that taking the brilliant holistic pet care guy's advice on relieving not only my pets' allergies but my own makes me the crazy cat lady. I do not believe, in this case, that that's a bad thing.

9. I believe that there are better food choices to be made. I do not believe I'll be making them this week. (This belief is sponsored by Hood Ice Cream's Chipwich division.)

10. "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." I do. And if you ever get to kiss me you will, too.

Be Prepared (Or Else!)

More than a year ago, maybe more than two, I was reading Oprah's magazine at the hair stylist's and I came across an article by Martha Beck. I had some time and I like her so I read it and it's stuck with me ever since. I'm forever saying, "Just in case I need blog fodder I can use this." I couldn't wait. But I did.

I think I finally got the gumption to look up the article because I'm doing a 365 project. You see, the article is called "Trust That You'll Find Exactly What You Need." Beck talks about the contrast between people who operate on a Just In Case philosophy or a Just In Time one. The major example she uses is a Japanese car company that found out that if, instead of approximating the number of cars they'd need and stockpiling them, they waited for orders to come in and built them in time for delivery they saved money, waste and effort. I'd actually be really interested to see how that played out in light of the terrible earthquake and tsunami recently. It could have been quite good because there wasn't inventory to lose or it could be bad since rebuilding will take so long and there won't be any chance of salvaging pre-made items that might have survived.

I cook for a few hours on the weekend to have lunches and dinners for the week. I have two long, hard core winter coats because what if one ripped or the zipper broke or something spilled on it and I got cold? I worry about having enough money in case I lose my job even though I'd like to think that I'm actually saving that money in order to leave the job and finance a career.

In my defense I come from a long line of Just In Casers. They don't throw out the teaspoon of green beans left over from dinner because what if they run out of (all the stockpiled) food before the week is out and go hungry but for a spoon of beans? They taught me to darn socks (which I actually enjoy). I recently used a cake mix that I salvaged from my grandmother's basement after she died. My grandmother died in December of 2000. But I was right, that cake mix did come in handy (and it was still perfectly good).

My landlady when I lived in London owned three pairs of underwear - one on, one clean and one in the wash. I knew someone once who owned one fork, one knife, one spoon, one serving spoon and one mixing bowl so he wouldn't be tempted to leave the dishes until later. A friend once moved to Seattle without finding a place to live there first. She just got on a plane with her suitcases and got into a cab when she arrived and said, "I need some place to stay, can you recommend something, please?"

If we're defending me, though, I am doing this 365 project. The nature of the beast is that you do one thing every day. I set up and execute a photo of my hands doing something each day. Every one. You can't stockpile them if you have three great ideas on Monday just in case you have none on Thursday. Or even if, god forbid, you forget on Wednesday! Cindy does a similar thing and she got food poisoning a little bit ago. She still took her photo, and it was a great one!

This morning I woke up and unhooked my camera from the computer and turned it on to check if I'd deleted the photos I'd uploaded last night. Blank screen. Got out the charger, plugged it in, inserted the battery. No light. Reset the plug. Nothing. Tried a different plug. NO JOY! NO JOY! I DO NOT HAVE THE SHOT! It was at this point in a morning that was already not my favorite that my brain scrambled like a farm fresh egg. I started packing shit into my knapsack. Had to take the battery and the charger and the camera because I had to trouble shoot all of them. I packed my lunch and my iPad to update it at work and a scarf and an umbrella to keep all the electronics dry in the downpour. As I lugged all this to the bus I ran down scenarios. Where would I go to get a new battery? Or a new charger? Or both? When would I go? Would my boss make an appearance in the office? Would I now be so late I'd have to shorten my lunch break? How would I choose to pay for it? What if I couldn't get one before the day was over? How would I take my shot for the day? It's supposed to be both my hands. I don't have another camera! I could...take two pictures, one of each of my hands, with my phone and learn how to make a diptych. I've always wanted to know how to do that. It'd be shitty quality but it'd fulfill the requirement.

Ok, you say, problem solved! Yet, I couldn't let it go. I couldn't feel all right until I had my camera back up and working. I plunged out into the rain before lunch, went to 4 stores, walked approximately a mile and finally bought (and was over charged for) two batteries JUST IN CASE this ever happened again and I bought them at two separate stores JUST IN CASE one store sold me a bum model.

Still didn't take my photo until after 8 at night. You see, I had to do one of my other least favorite Just In Time activities - cooking fresh food. I did both, though. I've got lunches and dinners for the week, I took my photo, my camera works and I've got a back up battery. I even squeezed in some singing practice while I cut up vegetables to keep me from wanting to stab myself with the paring knife.

I'm fucking exhausted.

I don't know how people live like this. It'd probably be a good idea to find out, though, and I think that this 365 project is going to teach me.

If it doesn't kill me first.