Tuesday, December 20, 2011

10 Things I've Seen & Heard In The Big Bad City Recently

1. Child (7ish years of age) wandering haphazardly along the sidewalk while her parents repeatedly urge her to keep walking, "I just burped!"

2. Man in festive, if varied, holiday clothes standing dead center of a sidewalk screaming after a woman, "Skinny bitch! Stupid bitch! That's an example of a stupid, skinny bitch!"

3. The longest conversation ever conducted on the relative merits of the automated postal machine vs. the teller window.

4. Floor manager at the PO, "Who needed the pen to send the package to [insert country I can't remember]?" Someone raises hand. "I remembered the package but not the face."

5. Dog wearing 2 coats and a light up collar with an owner encased in a sleeping bag coat, hat, and 2 pairs of mittens in 47F weather. (Confession: this was me and Ed. I misread the temperature before I left the house. Also, I don't like to be cold.)

6. Couple standing outside an Irish Pub at lunch time. She is red faced and crying, wiping her eyes on the lapel of her pea coat. He is murmuring things that I chose to believe were comforting. They are not touching at all.

7. Posters for a new reality show on A&E, Shipping Wars. A show about mailing packages? For real? This is a thing? I would so win that.

8. Some of my awesome friends gathered at Cowgirl from 3 countries and 2 states. Best Saturday night in a long time. (Pictured)

9. The remains of a box of delicious Christmas cookies strewn about my living room floor. Thanks, dog.

10. An older lady behind me in the PO line, talking on her cell phone about a party she'd recently thrown, clearly delighted with her bad self, "When I saw it was 3am I said, 'Do you people know how old I am? You have to leave right now!'"

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